Uncontrollably smiling with women around

[Lukks]

Hello everyone!

 

Has any of you had it or still have, do you know why this happens???

 

 

This is something weird, it happened to me in two distinct moments in my life, I can't find any correlations as to what I was doing, so I don't know how to trigger it to happen again and also I have no idea why it stopped happening.

 

 

It was a great feeling, I literally had to smile with some girls around me, it wasn't all of them but most of them triggered a smile response I can't understand.

 

It was like my face had a life of it's own and decided to smile, it was a good feeling as I said but it was annoying because I often needed to look the other way to hide my smile or just look down to the ground so It don't look like I was hitting on them.

 

It wasn't like the "women attraction" thing that is recurrent in this forum, it was more like they were attracting me and sometimes I couldn't look the other way around because there was people there too so sometimes I ended up directly smiling to some of these girls and I felt so awkward because I didn't want to be smiling at that moment. I don't even remember if they smiled back I was so nervous haha

 

Can anyone explain this?? 

 

I think that it can be correlated to the heart centre opening but at the same it doesn't make much sense because in the past weeks I've been practicing Qigong like never before so it should be happening now but it's not, so I'm at a point that I don't even know if this is correlated to qigong, which was the only thing I could think of to trigger this.

 

 

EDIT: Just to give a little more context, in the first time it happened it lasted for like 2 days and went away, then some months after that it happened again and this time I was aware of what was happening, but it also lasted less than a week, so these were very short but noticeable effects, very weird experience.

Edited September 12 by Lukks

[Kojiro]

well, i don't have this same problem, but all my life when I am around attractive girls I become anxious and insecure. I guess it happens to many men

[Lukks]

 

1 minute ago, Kojiro said:

well, i don't have this same problem, but all my life when I am around attractive girls I become anxious and insecure. I guess it happens to many men

 

Yes I get your point and I've always been anxious around attractive women, but It was different, I was feeling good at the same time, it was like I needed to smile, talking about it now I kinda remember a good feeling in my chest.

[ChiDragon]

1 hour ago, Lukks said:

I've been practicing Qigong like never before so it should be happening now but it's not, so I'm at a point that I don't even know if this is correlated to qigong, which was the only thing I could think of to trigger this.

😂 how long have you been practicing Qigong. If it was done properly, there will be a biological change in your body. It might change your personality a bit.

[Taomeow]

Don't know if it will be helpful but FWIW:

 

Many moons ago, when I was working on resolving some past/childhood issues, one thing that happened was, I stopped smiling around most people.  Until then, I didn't even realize that I was, so often, smiling.  Not a smile of genuine pleasure that internally means, "this person makes me feel good."  No!  A smile in response to expectations, learned early on as a confirmation to them that I am not going to bother them with any feelings they don't want me to have.  That I am unconditionally approving of them no matter how they treat me.  That I'm fucking harmless.  A smile to diffuse abuse.  

 

Not on purpose, but because of the dynamics of working on my "stuff," I stopped smiling for a while.  It made them extremely anxious.  I wasn't doing or saying anything confrontational -- but a mere withholding of the smile they came to expect, felt entitled to, was perceived as a signal of danger. 

 

So I see two reasons why you may be smiling uncontrollably in situations you describe:

1. It's a genuine smile of pleasure -- seeing attractive girls makes you feel good inside.

2. It's a conditioned reflex -- whoever makes you feel insecure might trigger it -- due to prior unconscious conditioning that you are expected to signal, by smiling, your acceptance of them and your harmlessness.  

[liminal_luke]

1 hour ago, Taomeow said:

 Until then, I didn't even realize that I was, so often, smiling.  Not a smile of genuine pleasure that internally means, "this person makes me feel good."  No!  A smile in response to expectations, learned early on as a confirmation to them that I am not going to bother them with any feelings they don't want me to have.  That I am unconditionally approving of them no matter how they treat me.  That I'm fucking harmless.  A smile to diffuse abuse.  

 

 

I used to be a perma-smiler.  I remember this one time when I was really depressed and a stranger stopped me on the street and complemented me on my smile.  A weird experience.  Things aren´t always as they seem.

[Lukks]

1 hour ago, ChiDragon said:

😂 how long have you been practicing Qigong. If it was done properly, there will be a biological change in your body. It might change your personality a bit.

 

It's been one and a half years now since I started in a Qigong system(SFQ) and I also do some other meditations when I have time to, like the free healing meditation with Xuan Daoji and ZZ.

 

But I've been meditating and doing similar things for 5 years now.

 

 

 

 

1 hour ago, Taomeow said:

Don't know if it will be helpful but FWIW:

 

Many moons ago, when I was working on resolving some past/childhood issues, one thing that happened was, I stopped smiling around most people.  Until then, I didn't even realize that I was, so often, smiling.  Not a smile of genuine pleasure that internally means, "this person makes me feel good."  No!  A smile in response to expectations, learned early on as a confirmation to them that I am not going to bother them with any feelings they don't want me to have.  That I am unconditionally approving of them no matter how they treat me.  That I'm fucking harmless.  A smile to diffuse abuse.  

 

Not on purpose, but because of the dynamics of working on my "stuff," I stopped smiling for a while.  It made them extremely anxious.  I wasn't doing or saying anything confrontational -- but a mere withholding of the smile they came to expect, felt entitled to, was perceived as a signal of danger. 

 

So I see two reasons why you may be smiling uncontrollably in situations you describe:

1. It's a genuine smile of pleasure -- seeing attractive girls makes you feel good inside.

2. It's a conditioned reflex -- whoever makes you feel insecure might trigger it -- due to prior unconscious conditioning that you are expected to signal, by smiling, your acceptance of them and your harmlessness.

 

This is very interesting, I'm the opposite, I'm naturally very shy and closed around people, actually if you see me walking around you'll think I'm angry, I have RBF - Restless Bitch Face 

 

From the Wikipedia "Resting bitch face (RBF) is a facial expression that unintentionally creates the impression that a person is angry, annoyed, irritated, or contemptuous."

 

It got to a point where I try to counsciously make my face feel more neutral so I don't look angry to the people around, I don't know why I make an angry face for no reason.

 

But back to the topic: So most of the time I'm not smiling around people, but these times were different, I just felt the need to smile it was something that came from inside me, I still don't know if I explained it correctly, I'll give an example: When I'm around attractive women, I have my restless bitch face or neutral face, but those times were noticeably different, I just wanted to smile and it was as if couldn't handle it, it just felt so good for no reason at all

Edited September 12 by Lukks

[Taomeow]

1 hour ago, Lukks said:

 Restless Bitch Face 

 

Not to encourage or discourage this face on you, just to thank you for supplying the term.  Just a day ago, I saw, in a debate, exactly this kind of face but didn't quite know how to define it.  Ever so grateful!   

[Nungali]

Lets make a list ;

 

( I encounter this one a bit )

 

'Cranky ponky-wonk face '.

 

 

She look like she just heard one of my jokes .

[thelerner]

6 hours ago, liminal_luke said:

 

I used to be a perma-smiler.  I remember this one time when I was really depressed and a stranger stopped me on the street and complemented me on my smile.  A weird experience.  Things aren´t always as they seem.

In Western culture, public smiling has evolved a little bit like the handshake has.  To show we aren't (armed or) dangerous.  

[Taomeow]

50 minutes ago, thelerner said:

In Western culture, public smiling has evolved a little bit like the handshake has.  To show we aren't (armed or) dangerous.  

 

In the former Soviet Union it was the opposite -- you didn't smile at strangers.  Or for passport pictures.  Or in service situations -- neither sales people nor shoppers smiled at each other.  Teachers didn't smile at students, and students smiling during class could be reprimanded for lack of seriousness.  There were perhaps multiple reasons behind this lack of public smiling, but one of them may have been just that -- to show you are dangerous, or at least not someone to be taken lightly.  Also a lack of economic incentives for smiling at clients -- it didn't matter for employees of government-owned businesses whether they smile or not, are friendly or not, welcoming or not.  In the US, this lack of smiles can also be easily observed in places like the DMV or if you are engaged in any which bureaucratic interactions with government officials. 

 

In China, they also smile less -- until you open up at least a little bit about who you are, tell them anything personal about yourself.  This is perceived as an opening and the barrier is quickly removed and then people smile easily.  

 

Interesting how many meanings a smile or a lack thereof might have.   

[ChiDragon]

1 hour ago, thelerner said:

To show we aren't (armed or) dangerous.

Someone can stab you in the back with a smile.

[Taomeow]

52 minutes ago, ChiDragon said:

Someone can stab you in the back with a smile.

 

Definitely.  There's nothing scarier than a smiling sociopath.    

[Lukks]

1 hour ago, Taomeow said:

In the former Soviet Union it was the opposite -- you didn't smile at strangers.  Or for passport pictures.  Or in service situations -- neither sales people nor shoppers smiled at each other.  Teachers didn't smile at students, and students smiling during class could be reprimanded for lack of seriousness.  There were perhaps multiple reasons behind this lack of public smiling, but one of them may have been just that -- to show you are dangerous, or at least not someone to be taken lightly.  Also a lack of economic incentives for smiling at clients -- it didn't matter for employees of government-owned businesses whether they smile or not, are friendly or not, welcoming or not.

 

Resting bitch face everywhere, I would be the coolest guy there

[snowymountains]

19 hours ago, Taomeow said:

Don't know if it will be helpful but FWIW:

 

Many moons ago, when I was working on resolving some past/childhood issues, one thing that happened was, I stopped smiling around most people.  Until then, I didn't even realize that I was, so often, smiling.  Not a smile of genuine pleasure that internally means, "this person makes me feel good."  No!  A smile in response to expectations, learned early on as a confirmation to them that I am not going to bother them with any feelings they don't want me to have.  That I am unconditionally approving of them no matter how they treat me.  That I'm fucking harmless.  A smile to diffuse abuse.  

 

Not on purpose, but because of the dynamics of working on my "stuff," I stopped smiling for a while.  It made them extremely anxious.  I wasn't doing or saying anything confrontational -- but a mere withholding of the smile they came to expect, felt entitled to, was perceived as a signal of danger. 

 

Everyone's conditioned, they are, you are, everyone is, to a larger or smaller extent. It's just the human condition we're all under.

 

Btw a good "test" you can do to see if a facial expression ( the smile or anything really ) is inhibited, is the following - everyday for 2 months do a deep relaxation program. Towards the end of the program have a pic/video of yourself in complete relaxation, no inhibited expression remains in deep relaxation

 

19 hours ago, Taomeow said:

a conditioned reflex

👍 for Pavlovian terminology 

[Nungali]

 

happy dreams