The "Get a Job, Have a Wife, Make a Child , Get a Life" Thread

[Pero]

For quite awhile I have thought I was pretty evolved but since I've gotten a gf I am realizing what a dick I am.

Must be a good GF then.

[soundhunter]

Rachel,

 

You are an unschooler!! Randi and I are "semi-schoolers": I'm an unschooler and she's a 50-50 unschooler but she's ultimately in charge. Of course, it's not so much the structure but the energy behind the structure or lack thereof that counts. Is your state cool with unschooling? We are in South Carolina, so it's anything goes down here... homeschooling is all the rage.

 

Your pal,

Kyle

Nice to meet a linkminded person here Kyle!

 

We live in BC Canada, it's very easy to do the unschooling thing here. I'm part of a few unschooling mailing lists on yahoo, lots of great folks with great conversations. Quite a few participate in these lists with grown kids who turned out just fine, in college, jobs, relationships, and most importantly, free, intact spirits! Do you guys participate in these communities at all? Our kids are young, 5, 2 and 6 months, yours? Have you guys been to any of the unschooling conventions that go in? I hear they are amazing, and that the teenagers are amazing, no rebellion, close to their parents and much more passionate about life than the average sullen, adult resenting teenager.

Edited January 10, 2009 by soundhunter

[DalTheJigsaw123]

Bumpin'

[DaoChild]

For those of you who are parents -- what do you think if your child chose not to marry and instead to cultivate his life?

 

I think my parents are going through this. I'm 22, eldest child, sort of the most well-off, attractive and charming, "most potential" of the family. I get a lot of crap from family since I think my siblings all feel they are living in my shadow. It's a feeling I strongly discourage from myself and others, but that's another story.

 

And then KABOOM, I was the strange kid who taught himself to meditate at 13.. And for cultivation purposes I have made the conscious (extremely difficult) choice to currently remain celibate, and not date anyone, until I am satisfied with my spiritual development. In the coming months I am planning for a very long journey.

 

The problem arises with my parents. They most likely think I'm insane. Or gay. Or just an idiot. Pressure for a girlfriend, pressure to find a high paying job.

 

It's all good though, I handle very well under pressure, and hardly give in.

 

I am a child of 4, but imagine you had only 1 child. What would you think if he/she never married? If he spent his time meditating and doing martial arts? Would you pressure him or criticize him? Be honest! I come from a very wealthy but very open minded family. They are behind me 100% in whatever I choose to do, but they still think I have all these romantic notions in my head. They think I do not enjoy life or have fun.

 

Boy are they in for a surprise.

 

Would you be heartbroken if your only child didn't enter mainstream society the way you planned? This is something I'm very interested in hearing, since the majority of my ego problems come from "proving myself" and. I want to "prove" to my parents that I can be cultivated, very well educated, wealthy, be a good father, a good man. My deepest pain comes from letting people down. But in my bones I feel I (currently) have a deeper purpose. I would love to be a father some day. My last vision quest gave me a good piece of advice though -- as a kid, I always thought I was going to be a hermit. In fact, I envied the life. Now I know that isn't what's written in the stars, and it makes sense to me.

 

But before I can be a good father I feel like I have to work on myself more. I hold others to a very high standard, and naturally I hold myself at the highest standard. I guess we'll just have to see how things turn out.

[Aetherous]

My deepest pain comes from letting people down. But in my bones I feel I (currently) have a deeper purpose.

 

You're a good guy! Follow your destiny before anything else, and don't be pushed this way and that by other's opinions.

 

_/\_

[宁]

For those of you who are parents -- what do you think if your child chose not to marry and instead to cultivate his life?

 

God I love this thread.

I would tell him as you said: Boy, are you in for a surprise...

You'll see that nobody has to give you any definitive answers, mostly all are guessing what is there in that Great Beyond.

It would be a shame to trade your current life for the afterlife, and end up loosing both.

 

 

That's what I would tell him

 

 

L1

[thelerner]

Most of all you want your kids to be happy and well adjusted; few paths follow a straight line. Still with 3 kids I'd like to see some grand kids. Partly cultural conditioning, but there's also a taoish notion that this is the way of nature, generation spawns generations. A unique ball of karma started in prehistory rolling on.. Plus grand kids are fun.

 

Michael

[rain]

For those of you who are parents -- what do you think if your child chose not to marry and instead to cultivate his life?

 

I think my parents are going through this. I'm 22, eldest child, sort of the most well-off, attractive and charming, "most potential" of the family. I get a lot of crap from family since I think my siblings all feel they are living in my shadow. It's a feeling I strongly discourage from myself and others, but that's another story.

 

And then KABOOM, I was the strange kid who taught himself to meditate at 13.. And for cultivation purposes I have made the conscious (extremely difficult) choice to currently remain celibate, and not date anyone, until I am satisfied with my spiritual development. In the coming months I am planning for a very long journey.

 

The problem arises with my parents. They most likely think I'm insane. Or gay. Or just an idiot. Pressure for a girlfriend, pressure to find a high paying job.

 

It's all good though, I handle very well under pressure, and hardly give in.

 

I am a child of 4, but imagine you had only 1 child. What would you think if he/she never married? If he spent his time meditating and doing martial arts? Would you pressure him or criticize him? Be honest! I come from a very wealthy but very open minded family. They are behind me 100% in whatever I choose to do, but they still think I have all these romantic notions in my head. They think I do not enjoy life or have fun.

 

Boy are they in for a surprise.

 

Would you be heartbroken if your only child didn't enter mainstream society the way you planned? This is something I'm very interested in hearing, since the majority of my ego problems come from "proving myself" and. I want to "prove" to my parents that I can be cultivated, very well educated, wealthy, be a good father, a good man. My deepest pain comes from letting people down. But in my bones I feel I (currently) have a deeper purpose. I would love to be a father some day. My last vision quest gave me a good piece of advice though -- as a kid, I always thought I was going to be a hermit. In fact, I envied the life. Now I know that isn't what's written in the stars, and it makes sense to me.

 

But before I can be a good father I feel like I have to work on myself more. I hold others to a very high standard, and naturally I hold myself at the highest standard. I guess we'll just have to see how things turn out.

 

 

I would be very happy for him. truly

[de_paradise]

Procreation and kids are natural, they can help you discover patience, virtue, etc. On the other hand, there are obvious reasons why monks eschew this lifestyle, and why monks stand a greater chance at becoming enlightened-- family life is time constraining, emotionally compelling, ego generating. You have to be a superman to be able to do it all. Hats off to those who can find the time to do quality meditations as well as have a family.

[Sloppy Zhang]

I've actually given a lot of thought to this, especially recently.

 

When I was in high school my parents said, "work hard so you can get into a good college, then in college you can take the courses that appeal to you, you can pursue a career that you want. Just buckle down now and you can get to what you want later."

 

Now I'm in college and everyone's like, "work hard in college so you can land a good job. Sure, you might not like all the courses you have to take, but it will be better once you land a secure job. Just buckle down now and put off what you want to do for later."

 

Then my parents have started talking about marriage, and how I could get a job and get settled.

 

And I'm thinking: when is it going to end? I mean, I get out of college, get a "secure" job, then get married and have a kid, well, I'm gonna have to devote time raising my kid, I'm not the kind of person to just abandon a kid and do my own thing, then the kid's going to have needs, is going to be in college.... it just seems like it's just one thing after another. I may be exagerrating it a bit because I'm young, but this is the first major time in my life when I'm looking down the beaten path and wondering how I'm going to not end up just like everyone else.

 

And I'm also talking to people in their 40's and 50's who said that when they started their "secure" jobs, they didn't have much time to do what was important to THEM, and it was only when they quit going down the "beaten path" that life really opened up for them.

 

So, I dunno. If it happens it happens I guess, you know, if I fall in love and we get married and I have a kid, well you know it'll be that. But I definitely wouldn't want to do that because that's what you're "supposed" to do.

[boyshood]

.....

Edited July 9, 2010 by Guest

[DaoChild]

Zhang,

 

 

Your post reminded me of the famous story of the businessman who meets the poor native.

 

Are you familiar with it?

[Sloppy Zhang]

Zhang,

Your post reminded me of the famous story of the businessman who meets the poor native.

 

Are you familiar with it?

 

I'm not familiar with it, please share

[enouch]

I've actually given a lot of thought to this, especially recently.

 

When I was in high school my parents said, "work hard so you can get into a good college, then in college you can take the courses that appeal to you, you can pursue a career that you want. Just buckle down now and you can get to what you want later."

 

Now I'm in college and everyone's like, "work hard in college so you can land a good job. Sure, you might not like all the courses you have to take, but it will be better once you land a secure job. Just buckle down now and put off what you want to do for later."

 

Then my parents have started talking about marriage, and how I could get a job and get settled.

 

And I'm thinking: when is it going to end? I mean, I get out of college, get a "secure" job, then get married and have a kid, well, I'm gonna have to devote time raising my kid, I'm not the kind of person to just abandon a kid and do my own thing, then the kid's going to have needs, is going to be in college.... it just seems like it's just one thing after another. I may be exagerrating it a bit because I'm young, but this is the first major time in my life when I'm looking down the beaten path and wondering how I'm going to not end up just like everyone else.

 

And I'm also talking to people in their 40's and 50's who said that when they started their "secure" jobs, they didn't have much time to do what was important to THEM, and it was only when they quit going down the "beaten path" that life really opened up for them.

 

So, I dunno. If it happens it happens I guess, you know, if I fall in love and we get married and I have a kid, well you know it'll be that. But I definitely wouldn't want to do that because that's what you're "supposed" to do.

 

 

 

 

There's no such thing as a secure life or job.Just think some recent ivy league grads went to work on september 11, at the trade center thinking they had it made.Not so, or how about the person who contracts a disease when life seems great and predictable.In psychology there is a concept called significant emotional events.We have these events and then we tie meaning,values into them.One guy after sept.11 left his m.b.a .job to become a chef.He felt the event gave him permission to pursue other avenues of life.

 

Then you have to remember almost every human being has an agenda[not necessarily in a bad way] a philosopher said for a woman a man is just the means ...the end is always a child.One student friend I spoke to about not getting caught up-snared.He didn't understand,you work hard for your degrees then they are suppose to work hard for you.But if you shack up with a woman[or get married before you are ready] then get her pregnant, after being hired for a new job,18-30 percent of your income before taxes is taken out if the relationship goes kaput.Pretty soon you are working two jobs.Some opt for bartening or cutting hair where there's a lot of non taxed cash being exchanged.We haven't even talked about economic enslavement i.e. debt through a morgage.Sometimes it seems as if life[not just natural world] is set up to be hard and to make you fail.

 

If you're wealthy then lawyers and others will seek your assets,it's never ending.What's the saying death goes on and on...and that's because life goes on and on.Half of getting what you want in life is knowing what you have to give up to get it.You can't give kids back and once you're married you lose your social freedom.It's no longer me but we.People will try and talk you into marriage but just remember...most people [seem]live in misery.You are way ahead of the game seeking divergent opinions,most guys don't.Women on the other hand will listen to their peers and make halftime adjustments.Personally ,I don't think guys should get married until much later or have kids until they are ready.Most guys allow the circumstances[most humans are accidents] to shape their reality.You program yourself or society programs you.We buy into the female biological clock when we can prcreate at any age,we just have pressures on us to make money.In the same way women have pressures to be beautiful.

 

Two final things: Life is about process, you know what the biggest illusion about success is?That it is a static result,a moutain to be scaled.Success is progress,a habit of mind, a way of life.Is Oj Simpson successful? Depends on the time line eh.How about former President Bush -highest ratings at the beginning of his term,then became the most despised-is he a success? If a poor man becomes rich then loses it all is he a success or failure? 2.Recall the native american saying when you pick up one end of the stick you pick up the other.Action and consequences.Of course most humans love certainty and concrete reality,so if you get sick your kids can take care of you or help.And you feel as though you've left an imprint.But any idiot can have a kid.What is a weakness in one context can become a strength in another...especially with the passage of time.

[Mal]

And I'm thinking: when is it going to end?

 

With a focus on the "future" it will never end, constand putting of the "good stuff" till you are too old or to dead to do it

 

Is there something you really want to do, just do it and make sure you are having fun everyday.

 

But there are always swings and roundabouts, pluses and minuses. A lot of people would like to do "X" but when push comes to shove there really prefer the security of a traditional family life plan and putting their "dreams" to some future time.

 

But we all do it. I want to teach kung fu. So I'm living in a town I don't really like while I'm learning enough to have something worthwhile to teach. But I'm having fun, everyday. Sometimes I think a wife and 2.5 kids would be the easier option, but (I hope) I wouldn't be as happy.

 

I am a child of 4, but imagine you had only 1 child. What would you think if he/she never married? If he spent his time meditating and doing martial arts? Would you pressure him or criticize him? Be honest!

 

That's me. I feel sorry for my Mum as I know she would love a grandchild. But unfortunately that's not a good reason to have one They never pressure me, but they do "cluck" about children now and then. Although I also find it funny as 19 years ago my Dad was talking to me about NOT getting D pregnant and stuffing up my life.

 

I also had a huge argument with him when I was 18 about only wanting to be happy. I think I've done pretty well so far, the sacrifice I had to make to do it was not having much money, but I get by

[宁]

Just the other day I followed one of brother Lin Aiwei's early posts, about daoist cultivation.

I found something really interesting, but wouldn't you know it, when you want to find it again... it doesn't show up. The idea was about the progression of the daoist training, that has three levels, self, society and heavens.

If you get stuck on the first level...

Everyone wants it easy, even the most arduous defenders of the concept of development-thru-hardship.

But life is not easy.

Not when you plunged deeper into it...

If you stay locked in your ivory tower it may look simple and easy, but if you come down to get your fingers wet a little, life is the most complex and exciting thing.

There is a counterpart of the philosophy of life being easy: Easy gets Boring pretty soon... sorry to break it to you.

 

Regarding the training is the same:

- that which gives you pleasure and confort TAKES Qi away from you

- when the Qi RETURNS to you, you may experience quite a lot of pain and discomfort

 

If you think these are just silly allegations... mmm, it's ok.

[Mal]

Actually I often think I must have amassed an awesome amount of good kama and be basically wasting it now because my life is easy.

 

School was easy, I'm lucky to be intelligent.

 

University was easy, my parents paid for me and it wasn't hard work. I stuck with psychology and computer science and stayed away from the stuff that required more intelligence than I have. My partner is noticeably smarter than I am, although she doesn't realize it so I never really had to study hard, she was the best thing I got out of uni

 

I got a part time job job in sales, it became full time after uni so I got plenty of cool stuff and a house. I was lucky enough to get fired (in retrospect) so I escaped the "got to have the newest thing" problem while I worked in a warehouse just to have enough money to live. There were some really good people there that got me into Tai Chi and saved me from killing myself with being overweight and unhealthy.

 

And now I do purchasing for the local hospital which is an easy job that allows me plenty of free time to practice and a bit of cash to enjoy my motorbike and diving etc. While I wait to be able to teach and move to the town we want to live in.

 

Where is this hard life of which you speak? Yes easy can be boring but IIHO boring happens because of what you do or don't do.

 

I feel sorry for people in war zones with no safety. Or those killing themselves working several jobs with no time to relax and enjoy. My partner is one who devotes herself to her job. I keep telling her there are no good tombstones saying "greatly missed by company 'X'"

 

p.s. Chrome's spell checker must be a bit buggy as even I can eyeball some of these errors. Sorry

[宁]

Hey Mal, funny with the tombstone thing, I got a pretty good laugh out of it.

 

About the other things... there may be books written on it and it would still not cover the subject entirely.

Think of it this way:

- a daoist tries to loosen his ties with the artificial world, and get more in touch with the complete reality

- the laws of the artificial world are pretty severe, but if you break them, you may or may not suffer any consequences, depends on how smart you are, you ability to hide it, how much money and influence you have etc

- the laws of the complete reality are pretty severe also... think about the daoist cosmology and the progression of certain traditional practices (that we read about - for lack of other comparison)

 

So, once you get out of a system of artificial laws, it doesn't mean you are free to do anything you want.

Normally, you would step by step become more aquainted with the Natural Laws, many of them pretty demanding.

 

So... hippie may not necesarelly = daoist

[宁]

 

50 Things Every 18-Year-Old Should Know

 

1) "If you are buying something that you will use often and for a long time, never go cheap. You'll end up replacing it sooner or paying more in maintenance costs than if you had spent more on good quality in the beginning. Plus, you'll enjoy the nicer product throughout its lifetime, rather than cringing every time you use something that is falling apart." -- bretts

 

2) Don't spend money on a credit card that you can't afford to pay back. The interest and late payments can put you in a hole that can take you years to pay back.

 

3) Compound interest is your friend. Saving even a relatively small percentage of your income each year, starting at 18, can leave you in much better shape by the time you're ready to retire.

 

4) If you're working with someone who can be bargained down on a price, it seldom hurts to try. The exceptions may be someone of exceptional talent, someone you're going to have to work with on a regular basis, or someone whose help you're going to need in a timely manner.

 

5) Try to keep enough cash to pay your bills for at least six months in reserve. It will make your life immeasurably easier if your car breaks down, you have a surprise medical expense, or you get an opportunity to get a fantastic bargain.

 

6) Dogs are fantastic animals. They deserve to be called man's best friend. But, if you are under the impression that you just need to buy a collar and a bag of dry dog food every month and you're set, you're in for a rude awakening. Dogs tend to be much more expensive and time consuming than you'd think.

 

7) "Don't have any children or get married until you can support and love yourself first." -- D-Vega

 

8) "Don't trade your vehicle in on a new one just a couple of years after buying it. Pay it off and ride it until (the wheels fall off), all while putting that car payment in the bank." -- The_Muck_Man

 

9) College is a lot more work than high school and your job will be a lot more work than college was.

 

10) Start looking for a new job BEFORE you quit your old job.

 

11) Don't take any job that only pays commission unless you're either an expert salesman or ready to spend months working without pay to gain the skills you need to become an expert salesman.

 

12) Ideally, you should choose something you love to do so much that you'd do it for free and find a way to make it into a career.

 

13) When asking for a salary, always have a figure you want in mind -- and then ask for significantly more than that number. That way, you may get more than what you want and even if you don't, you have a better chance of getting the amount you had in mind than if you had blurted it out right off the bat.

 

14) There's no shame in taking any honest job.

 

15) Getting fired or laid off isn't the end of the world. To the contrary, a lot of people, myself included, have moved on to bigger and better things after being laid off or fired.

 

16) If you're not happy with the job market, the government, or the schools in your area, remember that you can always move to another city or another state. Lots of Americans do just that every year.

 

17) "I wish that I had known to check the oil in my vehicles and to have changed it regularly. It would have saved a lot of money that I spent on repairs -- directly due to my lack of changing the oil per the mechanic." -- Ann H.

 

18) Lefty loosey, righty tighty. Turn it to the left to loosen it and to the right to tighten it.

 

19) Don't ever open a hot radiator cap or you can get seriously burned.

 

20) Here are 3 keys to keeping a reasonably clean house: don't leave any dishes in the sink overnight; every time you have a full load of clothes, wash 'em, and take out the trash every time the can is full. You do those things, wipe up your messes, and vacuum when the floor gets filthy, and you'll keep things reasonably neat.

 

21) If you use a computer even semi-regularly, it's worth your time to take a typing class.

 

22) It's not enough to buy a gun and stick it in a drawer like a lucky talisman. You need to learn to use the gun.

 

23) When you move, sell, throw away, and give away as much as possible or you'll just end up moving boxes from one closet, where they have been sitting for five years, to another closet, where they'll be sitting for the next five years.

 

24) Don't ever loan your friends money if you want to keep them as friends. After all, if they were good with money and were likely to pay you back in a timely manner, they probably wouldn't need the loan in the first place. If they really need the money, you want to help them, and you can afford it -- just give it to them.

 

25) Women should never allow a boyfriend to take naked pictures. If it's on film, you shouldn't be surprised if it goes public in one form or fashion after a break-up.

 

26) When men have a problem and they tell you about it, they want to know how to fix it. When women have a problem and they tell you about it, they just want you to listen.

 

27) If you ever get arrested, don't say anything until you talk to a lawyer.

 

28) If you don't know the agenda of the people you're getting your news from, then you don't have the information you need to know if what they're telling you is true.

 

29) Government is a necessary evil. It's best to keep its tentacles out of your life and out of our society as much as possible.

 

30) "When you're 18, you worry about what everybody is thinking of you; when you're 40, you don't give a darn what anybody thinks of you; when you're 60, you realize nobody's been thinking about you at all." -- Daniel Amen

 

31) Trust your instincts. They're usually right.

 

32) If you think a doctor's wrong, don't hesitate to ask for a second opinion. Your health is vitally important and doctors make mistakes just as often as anyone else.

 

33) Don't ever say anything that may offend someone who is going to be serving you food. You never know what they may stick in it when you're not looking.

 

34) If you get into a business deal with someone who goes to unusual lengths to convince you of how honest or Christian they are, watch your wallet and make sure you have an iron clad contract. They "doth protest too much."

 

35) "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." - Jim Rohn

 

36) If you want to do something exceptional, don't expect anyone to believe you can do it until you've done it. Unless you're already perceived as exceptional, most people won't believe in you. That's doubly true for the people who know you best and have therefore seen you at your most mediocre, like your parents, family, and friends.

 

37) If you don't feel like you're being treated fairly by a company, don't hesitate to ask for a manager. Oftentimes, a manager has gotten to where he is in a company because he is good at pleasing customers like you in the first place.

 

38) "You are not invulnerable and you are not going to live forever. You can (make) mistakes at 18 that you will have to live with for the rest of your life." -- Don_cos

 

39) Nobody owes you a living.

 

40) You are not a victim.

 

41) If you just assume that every conspiracy theory is wrong without even examining it, you will be right 99.99% of the time.

 

42) "It's likely that whatever challenges you have faced in your life currently could have been avoided but some better decisions upstream." -- Tony Robbins

 

43) At a minimum, keep a basic "to do" list, a schedule, and a budget.

 

44) "Excellence is the gradual result of always striving to do better." -- Pat Riley

 

45) "If you want your life to have impact, focus it! Stop dabbling. Stop trying to do it all. Do less. Prune away even good activities and do only that which matters most. Never confuse activity with productivity. You can be busy without a purpose, but what's the point?" -- Rick Warren

 

46) Ironically, successful people tend to fail a lot more than unsuccessful people. They also tend to ask a lot more questions.

 

47) When you consider Christianity, keep in mind this classic quotation from C.S. Lewis, "If I, being what I am, can consider that I am in some sense a Christian, why should the different vices of those people in the next pew prove that their religion is mere hypocrisy and convention?"

 

48) You beat 50% of the people by just showing up. You beat another 40% by working hard. The last 10% is a dogfight in the free enterprise system.

 

49) There are at least six key areas of your life: health, career, romantic, social, money, and religion. If you neglect any one of those areas, it will harm you in the other areas and keep you from being as happy as you can be otherwise.

 

50) When trying to decide between two closely matched alternatives, always have a bias towards action. In the long run, it'll lead to your having a lot more experience, great stories, and a richer, fuller life.

[Sloppy Zhang]

36) If you want to do something exceptional, don't expect anyone to believe you can do it until you've done it. Unless you're already perceived as exceptional, most people won't believe in you. That's doubly true for the people who know you best and have therefore seen you at your most mediocre, like your parents, family, and friends.

 

Hmm, that's very interesting, and very true

 

Even though they're there to support you, family is usually the first one to tell you to try something else

[Josh Young]

I am married and have been for 11 years.

I have 4 children right now.

 

I never wanted to marry or have kids. I wanted to be a type of monk, for this I was once kicked out of my mormon parents house, well actually for telling my younger brother the story of the life of Siddhartha, but it related to monasticism.

 

I love my family.

 

I have little affection for society as it is presently constructed.

Class division is such a huge problem, it creates so much poverty.

The conventional consumer wage slave lifestyle disgusts me.

[soundhunter]

Most of all you want your kids to be happy and well adjusted; few paths follow a straight line. Still with 3 kids I'd like to see some grand kids. Partly cultural conditioning, but there's also a taoish notion that this is the way of nature, generation spawns generations. A unique ball of karma started in prehistory rolling on.. Plus grand kids are fun.

 

Michael

 

I'm with you on this, we're done having children at 3, and I already look forward to being a grandparent someday I hope by having three kids, the odds are in my favor! I also think it is natural to want this, procreation is as natural as it gets, this is what nature revolves around. The old chinese folk religions which spawned Taoism involved much reverence for ancestors, and family life is where human harmony is prime, if done right. I would be quite sad if I didn't get to be a grandparent, hoping to know my grandchildren is my greatest motivation to live into old age, and a part of my inspiration to develop wisdom to share with and benefit these future grandchildren.

 

As for if I only had one child, I'd still want to have granchildren, and it would probably be an awkward thing on some level if they chose not have children. Perhaps the answer would differ depending on why someone only had one child, how much they love children etc. If I only had one child it wouldn't be by my choice, but for people who choose to have only one child, I'm going to guess that they'd be less concerned about grandchildren.

[Eric23]

As for if I only had one child, I'd still want to have granchildren, and it would probably be an awkward thing on some level if they chose not have children. Perhaps the answer would differ depending on why someone only had one child, how much they love children etc. If I only had one child it wouldn't be by my choice, but for people who choose to have only one child, I'm going to guess that they'd be less concerned about grandchildren.

 

 

I'm an only child. Never really talked with my folks as to why they quit after me. They really enjoy being grandparents and were very helpful and supportive as my kids grew up. I did not want my child to be an only child however, it was very lonely growing up. We wound up having 2. Now I'm the grandfather and am enjoying the experience.

[宁]

Maybe it's time for a little revival of this thread.

A quick read thru it, and back into the shadows with it...

[Mal]