Destiny and Walking in a Circle

[thelerner]

I think I've ended up where I wanted to. Beyond the many fears of failure, I wanted the home in the suburbs, the wife, the 2.5 children, monetary success.

 

I am in the exact suburb I longed for as a child. I love my family, love my house. I'm embarassingly happy to be doing mostly nothing; playing house husband. Days of laundry, carting the kids around, grocery shopping. I stare at the over crowded highways and think how lucky I am. After 18 years of daily driving an hour to go 10 or 20 miles, I'm free.

 

To what extent was it luck that put me here? For you people in cyber space, are you where you planned to be? Above or below? Has life taken you in directions you've never dreamed of?

 

 

 

I see possiblities of life before me. The simple glory and bliss of future enlightenment, paths w/ the agonies of emptiness and loss.

 

Lately I've pondered a path of returning to the faith my ancestors had, and I've lost or never had. Judiasm, prayers once seen as primitive 'kiss ass' to a Zeus like deity, reclaimed as kotodama, sacred sounds that reverberate through my body and soul. Pointless, picky prayers, 3 or 4 for each meal, dozens each day as a wake up call to the awesomeness of realities totality.

 

PATHES, Pathes pathes. I'm way to in my head. The future rolls on of its own accord. DRINK Drink drink, BREATH, Breath breath. Life creeps on in this petty pace til the last syllable of recorded time.

 

Peas

 

Michael

[BobD]

Kudos for being happy where you are. I think that is probably one of the best descriptions of success that I can think of.

 

....monetary success. 

That always helps of course!

 

To what extent was it luck that put me here?  For you people in cyber space, are you where you planned to be?  Above or below?  Has life taken you in directions you've never dreamed of?

So many of the books I read say that if you don't accept that you created your own current circumstances then you have no hope of changing them for the better. As to if my circumstances are those I aimed for, then I would say that generally speaking yes.

 

I am in a job that I enjoy, with people I get on with, that pays me well enough (to live that is, not to retire ), I am healthy, happy in my relationship. increasingly at peace with myself and the world and generally content. There are things in my life that I would change if I could (most notably the death of my father a few years back, totally unexpected, and perhaps the failure of a company startup that could have made me wealthy - and has made some of the management wealthy, but I am getting increasingly ok with things as they are), but the day to day circumstances of my life match those that I had in mind when I started to take responsibility for my life, around the time of taking A-Levels before going to university.

 

No real suprises in where I am. I could and did predict the nature of my job many years ago, so no sudden twists and turns in the road for me (up to this point anyway)

 

I'm way to in my head. The future rolls on of its own accord. DRINK Drink drink, BREATH, Breath breath

A quote from somewhere that I always enjoy (but can never remember the source, or even the exact wording, not much of a quote really ) is that the best way to live in the world is just to relax and get the hell out of its way.

 

Interested in reading other answers to this topic!

[Yoda]

Have you researched the esoteric branches? Have you read Kaplan's Jewish Meditation? Kabalistic stuff? I had an opportunity to train with Rabbi Twerski in Denver, CO and he, personally, was the bomb but his temple was pretty far out (Hassidic). Lots of zenlike tales of past masters. He was tons of fun. There's got to be a fun Rabbi led discussion group somewhere in Chicago. Definitely don't blow off the Hassidics. Despite their OCD issues, they have a lot going on.

 

Don't be embarrassed about having the perfect life. That embarrassment arises from a sense of sympathy or empathy for the plight of others but it will just hold you back from greater happiness. The more happy you are the more of a light you are to the world. As Mother Theresa said--"If you want to be in my organization you must smile and spread joy. If you are not happy, you must leave--you are of no use to me."

 

Choosing to take birth in a friendly, wealthy family is good--leverage it as much as you can.

 

Choosing to take birth in a challenging situation is like a good tennis player who doesn't always want to play against somebody he or she can easily beat--they need challenging opponents in order to grow and enjoy their craft.

 

I believe that taking a physical body is like deciding to play a game of football--you have to voluntarily accept and take on certain procedures, rules, the limitations of your teamates, support staff, equipment budget, the dynamics of the opposing team, and other zillions of limiting variables. But we do this to have fun and to focus our energy and to grow. As our Mahalingham wisely said, "The reason we take birth is to have sex--doing that in the spirit world would be like trying to fuck an open window with a feather." Same thing.

 

We all get caught up in all the rules and get down from time to time, but we usually figure something out sooner or later. Failing that, we just start over in a fresh little body.

 

Regardless of the specific paradigm one adopts, it's very nice to put one's life experience into as friendly as possible "big scheme". Funner that way. More chi too.

 

It sounds like you got some time on your hands, you should take up running with the rest of us!

 

-Yoda

[GrandTrinity]

ONE WORD:

 

MATISYAHU

[sean]

I'm embarassingly happy to be doing mostly nothing.

I hesitate to jump on this one teeny splinter in your wonderful post ... especially since Yoda pretty much summed up my feelings on it ... and possibly you just used the word "embarassingly" artisticly and not as a literal expression of your feelings. But I'll write anyway because I remember you writing a striking post recently on HT about how you feel pretty damn good most of the time, but seem to miss out on bliss. Now, I am no bliss-guru ... damn I am in a near crappy mood at least 20% of my day. But, just as an outsider looking in, I wonder if this embarrassment, that is sort of laying on top of your happiness like a skin on milk ... perhaps only just slightly holding you back ... but enough to make things just a sprinkle less than utterly amazing.

[thelerner]

Thanks for the comments. Hassidics can really party. I remember going to a Hassidic wedding. Lots of wild pranks. Setting there hats on fire and dancing in a circle(fire was safely contained somehow). Draining a bottle of Jack Daniels in one long gulp(also faked). But the joyous dancing and high spirits were certainly authentic, as was the prayer and joyous singing during there prayers.

 

 

MATISYAHU is the first Hassidic Reggae singer I've heard of. I'll have to give him a listen. I've read and been impressed w/ Aryeh Kaplans work for a long time. He was such a great mystic, writer, scientist. Yet he died very young, in his mid 50's I believe.

 

It reminds me that you can't be all in your mind or spirit. You have to take your body w/ you to whatever heights you plan to reach.

 

I think bliss is beyond feeling good and general happiness about ones situation. Matter of fact I think the very attachment to things and the happiness they give you can be detrimental. Not that they can't be appreiciated, and pleasure amplified by bliss, but linking them to current happiness is not the path to bliss.

 

I think its a mind/body thing, mostly mind. Its reality has to be beyond current circumstances. Its cycle of accepting the present moment, clearing the mind, feeling the love the universe.

 

Feeling the Love of the Universe is hard, too touchy feely. Other then air, food, warmth clothing family and friends, what has it done for me lately?

 

Eh, stuff to do

 

Peace

 

Michael

[voice]

Feeling the Love of the Universe is hard, too touchy feely.  Other then air, food, warmth clothing family and friends, what has it done for me lately? 

 

Hmm, I'm the absolute opposite! I am pretty much dissatisfied/unhappy with the world - my wonderful son, my beautiful wife, my prestigious job, my nice house, my awesome body (well, the last is a lie!)...they've all regularly let me down, not been easy, haven't provided me the perfect love that I crave.

 

Bliss, early heaven, ahhh...never lets me down. Non-addictive, ever-available, asks nothing of me...sweet.

 

I have a friend who is so much fun, an awesome cook, a wonderful musician, excellent teacher, and very skilled with psychic type stuff. But, she often says how tired she is of the pain in this world. For years I just didn't get her position, but now I do. Later heaven is ignorance and dissatisfaction and so much pain. Pain, that of course, provides the impetus to develop spiritually, to learn to transform that ignorance into beauty, that dross into gold.

 

But, you seem to have found a happy place in this world, so more power to you! I look forward to hearing more about it, and how you cope with the difficulties in life. Until then, my stomach is bloated from DQ ice cream (that also seems to have given my son a nose bleed) on this very hot night. Sigh.

 

Chris

[Yoda]

Chris,

 

Follow your son's vibe. That's the great thing about kids--you get your own personal Rinpoche!

 

-Yodster

[lillipad]

We walk around in a circle and suppose...

 

whilst the secret sits in the middle...and knows.

[voice]

Chris, 

 

Follow your son's vibe.  That's the great thing about kids--you get your own personal Rinpoche!

 

-Yodster

4437[/snapback]

 

Kyle,

 

Hmmm, my son's vibe is way too chaotic for me to follow - he is a non-stop, talk-talk, sweet. dinosaur-lover, from extreme yin to extreme yang, on and on and.... We find it so bizarre when we see friends with their kids so quiet and gentle and compliant with their parents. What a different life they have! But, my job is to help him find some balance (physically, mentally and energetically), while allowing him to preserve his innocence and vitality.

 

You'd earlier posted something (that disappeared) suggesting that I am something like "just a titch away from happiness." Something about your wording made me think of the glass being half-empty or half-full, an allusion that really irritates me. So, there I was weeding the garden under the grove of big trees in our backyard (red oak, white oak, sugar maple, white ash, shagbark hickory), thinking "it is half empty, why do people want to deny that truth, my truth...". As I was brooding on that, I got the sense from the trees, that they are growing and filling space, that all of nature and all things are ever-filling the space around them.

 

Then I realized, the glass is actually completely empty, and completely full, not just half-empty and half-full! It is empty in that it has room, and it is full in that it is ever-renewing. Yin and yang both. Just like your post - present, yet absent!

 

Chris

[Yoda]

Chris,

 

Kid vibration is impossible to follow, but I see it as an example to strive for... they haven't achieved a damn thing on any list yet they really know how to shine.

 

Even when there's contention in the air, I try to keep in mind who's the teacher and who's the student.

 

You should order the BBC Walking with Dinosaurs DVDs if you haven't already. When I can't handle his high vibe, I plug my 2 year old boy, Kell, into Dinosaur theater. Works like a charm!

 

-Kyle

 

PS, I forget what I wrote, but I figured that my last post was too irritating.