Controlling Sexual Desire

[Rolf]

YEahh this is probably one of the hardest challenges in my life . also its hard when one is bored , because have to use the energy for something... ?

[salaam123]

You probably lack yin chi.

[Rolf]

how do i get more of that? Grounding? Strengthening anus muscle or? :PP

 

btw thank you very much for your reply. i think it was very true maybe. :

[mat black]

[Rolf]

thank you, mat black

[Stigweard]

A simple technique for rediverting any mental disturbance:

 

Breathe deeply down into the lower abdomen. Really be conscious of the air flowing in through the nostrils and draw it down deeply. If you can, feel/visualise the energy move up from your sexual organs to join with your breath in your lower abdomen. Practice this every morning and as required.

 

Also watch your diet. Learn to enjoy the taste of natural plain food with minimum preparation.

 

Blessings

[Spectrum]

Key Ingredients:

 

Training

-Breathing

-Food & Water

-Moving

Resting

-Recoup & Stillness

Real Food

-Nutrition & Specialties

Real Men & Women

-Extra Nutritious

Edited August 17, 2008 by Spectrum

[salaam123]

I have had similar problems, but when I out breath, I visualize something cool (like water) moving from front of the stomach to the front of the thigh and front of the shin and at the same time relaxing tensions from upperbody down to waist.

 

But be aware if you try this since Im certainly not an expert so it might or might not be good in the long term.(visualizations can mess up your chi and it can be a long road back)

[Rolf]

thank you all very much. i feel very good energy in your posts

 

what do you mean by Real men and Woman ?

 

and how can visualize mess up ur chi ?

[salaam123]

well if you visualize chi flowing in ways that interfere with its natural flow and then it will start to flow unnaturally. Its good to train standing/moving meditation in my opinion also btw. or physical exercise also.

[daoian]

well if you visualize chi flowing in ways that interfere with its natural flow and then it will start to flow unnaturally. Its good to train standing/moving meditation in my opinion also btw. or physical exercise also.

 

Stay present. Always stay here. I remember a deaf woman on the discovery channel. The neurosurgeons did some work on her ear and to test her hearing, they had to use a painful super high pitch sound. They put headphones on her head. She screamed and winced and cried as she heard the sound. Then she cried tears of joy that she could hear. As painful as the sound was, she loved hearing. She asked for the sound again. She loved the pain from out of the void.

 

Love the desire. Know that it means you are alive. Embrace the desire for the sake of feeling something - anything from out of the void.

 

Stay there. Stay present.

[Rolf]

but then come distraction from TV computer, Smoking alkohol coffee ETc.... :S hehe.... ;\ : (

[Dog]

I would recommend looking at it as communicating not controlling. There is no real control in a relationship. Because for every manipulation there is a counter manipulation, this is yin yang. You are communicating to the life force in every moment conscious or not, and you get the exact responses you need. Open and you will receive, relax and you will fall into the center of gravity; feel your resistance to your unconditional love, and truth. The simple truth is that all disharmonies arise from our resistance of the life force. No need to fight or struggle endlessly, just put your arms down and return home. The life force is singing to right now to guide you home just, turn off the tv or computer go into a closet, close the door, turn the light off, and start listening. It is going to tell you a story of how beautiful you are, how you are unconditional love, it is going to sing into you until you are home, until you have that knowing of self deep in your core.

Bless you and good luck.

[Rolf]

thank you dog, hug

[Rolf]

i was thinking of overcoming, and waiting for someone to comment on Controlling ;PPP

[Dog]

i was thinking of overcoming, and waiting for someone to comment on Controlling ;PPP

 

Trying to overcome will weaken you, even asuming you need to over come places the life force in a smaller box creating resistance.. You will be caught up in the external trying to balance your outer life; just focus on opening and listening/accepting self and your outer world will shift in response to your new found inner balance and harmony. Develop greater levels of self acceptance. Lose yourself in love. Unconditional love is that which does nothing yet does everything.

 

hope my perspective helps.

[Rolf]

great, thanks

[Trunk]

This is one of the big topics that we haven't discussed enough, imo. Men tend to be sexually frenetic; we're naturally challenged to cool down.

 

As usual, I see this mostly through the lense of what I've been doing lately: activating acupoints. (Also, the usual disclaimer: this might/might not work. Good luck.)

 

Basically, activate the little orbit like this (follow links for most of the info):

1. Sacrum: bonger (link)

2. QiHai Ren-6: twiddle (link)

3. GuanYuan Ren-4: twiddle

4. MingMen Du-4: twiddle

5. HuiYin Ren-1: hand positions (below)

 

I find that the above activates blood/energy flow adjacent to the sexual area, so it alleviates sexual pressure. Also, it transforms the energy and sends it deep (and to various places).

 

HuiYin hand positions

Sit on something cushy, like a couch or bed.

1) Put one palm centered on on huiyin. Huiyin is half-way between the genitals and anus, so that means that the heel of your palm will be at the back of your scrotum. You'll probably need to hunch over some.

2) Put your other hand over your heart. Stay there for a while.

3) Move your hand from your heart to the top of your head. Stay there for a while.

 

That's it. One of the tricks, I find, with huiyin is that it needs connection integration with higher energies in order to activate well. It has a special relationship with baihui (the acupoint at the top of the head) in that regard, but I prefer to use the heart for half of it so as not to over-do the head.

 

The short version of this is to just sit around twiddlin' Ren-6 and Ren-4. GuanYuan Ren-4 I find most interesting.

 

I'd like to hear reports back from some who try this, cause I'm definately still in the "wonder how this works for others" phase.

 

Trunk

[Taiji-student]

My unwarranted, personal thoughts on this:

 

"being present" as someone stated before me here, or "entering into the observer," it's a helpful and IMO non-harmful approach to problems such as this.

 

It can applied universally to almost any problem of "will", any sort of obsession or reocurring mental chatter, and painful or unhelpful modes of reaction such as pensive worry, internal self-criticism etc.

 

Instead of trying to suppress thoughts, feelings or sensations, I "enter into the observer" by simply stating to myself, "now I am aroused," or, "now I am having sexual thoughts," "now something in me wants a cigarette", or whatever. This is the trick. Observe the notion you are having as a phenomenon you can experience from a third person view. Accept whatever is inside you wholeheartedly without criticism, but do nothing, take on the attitude of the observer watching whatever sensations is running through your mind and/or body. Often I find that calmness reaches me within a few minutes, and it is the kind of calmness which can not come from suppressing your thoughts or feelings.

 

I find this exercise(or mindset, really) to be very helpful to stop us from sabotaging our progress underway. Over time I think this kind of consciousness practice has curative and rebalancing effect of its own, but it's main strength is how it can be used instantly at any time during the day while we are having any kind of difficulty. With practice it takes very little time to "enter into the observer" and when practiced for a while most find that they will not need to use it as often as before.

 

By the way I find the other posts in this thread to be very interesting. Thanks!

[Rolf]

taji student: thank you, i think this can never be reminded enough, thank you good post i think

 

ps. drunk a bottle of red wine ohhh yeahh h ; OOO damn no promoting of alkohol here! ahhh !

[Desert Eagle]

http://alchemicaltaoism.com/ Edited February 14, 2009 by Desert Eagle

[Trunk]

A few notes about my previous post:

 

- A light tapping massage, such as twiddling, won't be enough if your lower abdomen is really jammed up. There's a spectrum of massage approaches all the way from very aggressive, very physical, to gradually more subtle. Explore (link). I find twiddling to be extraordinarily effective at activating acupoints.

 

- The acupoints that I mentioned don't work in isolation (yeah, it's complicated, I know). Distal massage (link), in general, is important. The Liver channel has a special relationship with the sexual area.

 

- Aside from massage and esoteric stuff, there's obvious issues of exercise (link), life-style.

[Rolf]

guess i will buy kunlun book then : )

[HermitofShinrin]

Instead of trying to suppress thoughts, feelings or sensations, I "enter into the observer" by simply stating to myself, "now I am aroused," or, "now I am having sexual thoughts," "now something in me wants a cigarette", or whatever. This is the trick. Observe the notion you are having as a phenomenon you can experience from a third person view. Accept whatever is inside you wholeheartedly without criticism, but do nothing, take on the attitude of the observer watching whatever sensations is running through your mind and/or body. Often I find that calmness reaches me within a few minutes, and it is the kind of calmness which can not come from suppressing your thoughts or feelings.

 

I find this exercise(or mindset, really) to be very helpful to stop us from sabotaging our progress underway. Over time I think this kind of consciousness practice has curative and rebalancing effect of its own, but it's main strength is how it can be used instantly at any time during the day while we are having any kind of difficulty. With practice it takes very little time to "enter into the observer" and when practiced for a while most find that they will not need to use it as often as before.

 

 

This is a great point, accept your urges, as my ethics teacher last year said (Junior year) "When you are horny, you don't need to take care of it right away, rejoice in the fact that you are young" That is a paraphrase but it is true. Accept the thoughts just like Taiji Student said, don't fight them and they go away, if you fight them you will keep failing. It is all about the right mindset which means Understand yourself and sexuality.

 

Also, I would recommend practicing non-ejaculatory orgasms and exercising the PC muscle check out http://www.thetaobums.com/male-multiple-orgasms-t3460.html because it cultivates a mindset of positive sexuality.

Edited August 21, 2008 by HermitofShinrin

[Rolf]

i have never accomplished non ejaculatory orgasm, havent practised or tried much tho . seems difficult ..

 

i will practise this in the future. very interesting . thank you.

Edited August 21, 2008 by Rolf