Kunlun San Diego and assorted musings

[Taomeow]

I can barely type what I'm typing because most of my fingers are glued together with Crazy Glue on account of a tube thereof having exploded in my hands earlier tonight. This happened to me for the first time in my life, and will probably prevent me from practicing the Red Phoenix and the Golden Flower, with their relaxed hand mudras, for as long as it will take me to scrape the damn thing off. The reason I tried to open the tube to begin with is that I intended to glue my wristband ID from the Kunlun seminar, with its long wavy dragon (of the particular variety small enough and worm-like enough to hide in the folds of one's clothes), into my scrapbook.

 

Some forces started working against my Kunlun initiation in advance. The morning after I made up my mind to go to the San Diego Kunlun seminar, I woke up to an extraordinarily painful rash, possibly shingles, all over my face. I did a round of home remedies and improved just to the point where I still couldn't recognize myself in the mirror but at least I could smile or sneeze without screaming anymore. The night before the seminar I decided I couldn't possibly go, but then Chris the writing knight in shining Kunlun armor, and the I Ching consulted on the issue, together succeeded in convincing me otherwise. So I bit the bullet and went.

 

There were perhaps around fifty people in attendance. Max wore stylish Chinese clothes and a wide bracelet on his wrist. The bracelet, upon being removed on a later occasion, revealed a deep scar that looked as though someone had once tried to severe his hand with an ax and nearly succeeded. Which didn't seem to interfere with its strength and speed when Max delivered a cannonball-loud slapping Hot Palm treatment to one of the participants, pummeling away at his bare torso as though trying to demolish a prohibition on corporal punishments.

 

The eight hours spread over two days -- Kunlun level I seminar, which is where I went (there was also a level II seminar for people who had practiced the first one for a minimum of six months) -- proved eventful.

 

Now then. I have never worked for personnel and have never handled benefits, but one thing I know: I'm not someone who will give a controversial teacher the benefit of the doubt until he or she has somehow earned this benefit. I view an experiential tabula rasa with implicit suspicion. Any which claims anyone might write on it, I would want validated somehow. Tell me, show me, get me to feel it, get me to get it. Not in my mind though... Get me to get it with my life, with the very aliveness of me. I don't care about any other kinds of "proof."

 

On the other hand, I'm not someone who makes up her mind in advance about anything (took a while to learn not to), particularly about certain things supposedly being once and for all, for all purposes and for all eternity, impossible. No. There's no such thing as impossible things; if you think there is, you haven't been paying attention to the universe. Miracles? I'm all for miracles, I don't think our world could emerge on any other, non-miraculous premise. It is not the outcome of a logical process; it is not a rational thing that anyone can account for by any rational arguments; it's inherently miraculous. Anyone who believes that "anything is possible" is a wrong statement holds a flaky belief with no basis in reality.

 

Now miracle workers, especially professional, money-making miracle workers, are a different matter altogether. I trust the miraculous universe; it doesn't mean being gullible, it means being reasonable. I don't so readily trust miracle workers, neither great nor small. People are not, generally speaking, trustworthy. People who make money doing whatever they are doing are particularly non-trustworthy. It's the nature of the human beast. I don't trust the so-called "modern scientists" either. If someone withholds or takes away their research grant unless they lie, they lie. If someone guarantees no career advancement ever unless they lie, they lie. If someone orchestrates peer pressure unless they lie, they lie. If someone... and someone always does.

 

What's "proof?.."

 

Of anything?..

 

To me, it is as non-linear as the world I find myself in. Proof is a pattern, a tapestry, a piece of brocade, a dance, a symphony, a meaningful congruence between what you question and what life answers. If it's step by step, it's not a dance -- it's a marching army, and an army always marches toward death. Note by note, it's not a symphony -- it's the tinkering of an ignoramus who owns the instrument but has never learned how to play. Argument by argument, it's no proof!

 

Proof is time-sensitive. A post-factum "I told you so" is not it, anymore than an a priori "I believe." Proof is space-sensitive, place-sensitive. In China, "fear of cold" is a disease a patient will complain of and the doctor will treat; the patient is not expected to prove she suffers from the "fear of cold," the doctor is not expected to suspect a lie, and the proof is in the pulse. Our PDR doesn't contain such a disease. Do Chinese patients and doctors alike lie then? To whom? To themselves? To each other? To us? To god?..

 

Proof is, then, space-time sensitive, but... Our reality is not comprised of space-time only. There's things beyond -- like intent, like co-creation, like dream-dimensions, like tao...

 

Proof ends where reality begins. Only unreal things can be "proved" and measurements that "prove" can only be taken in frozen, stopped, dead environments, under "controlled" conditions, under formaldehyde. Life and its theoretical variety known as the afterlife don't yield to the "prove it" demand. Life has nothing to prove.

 

(to be continued)

[gendao]

I can barely type what I'm typing because most of my fingers are glued together with Crazy Glue on account of a tube thereof having exploded in my hands earlier tonight. This happened to me for the first time in my life, and will probably prevent me from practicing the Red Phoenix and the Golden Flower, with their relaxed hand mudras, for as long as it will take me to scrape the damn thing off. The reason I tried to open the tube to begin with is that I intended to glue my wristband ID from the Kunlun seminar, with its long wavy dragon (of the particular variety small enough and worm-like enough to hide in the folds of one's clothes), into my scrapbook.

 

Some forces started working against my Kunlun initiation in advance. The morning after I made up my mind to go to the San Diego Kunlun seminar, I woke up to an extraordinarily painful rash, possibly shingles, all over my face. I did a round of home remedies and improved just to the point where I still couldn't recognize myself in the mirror but at least I could smile or sneeze without screaming anymore. The night before the seminar I decided I couldn't possibly go, but then Chris the writing knight in shining Kunlun armor, and the I Ching consulted on the issue, together succeeded in convincing me otherwise. So I bit the bullet and went.

Weird, what's with so many (ok, well 2 so far, lol) people experiencing mishaps and hurdles before this one?

[sunshine]

(to be continued)

 

Very much looking forward to it

[Yoda]

Oh dang... she's messin' with us!!

 

Taomeow, good luck with the glue. Have you tried nailpolish remover? Works like a charm.

 

Your pal,

Yoda

[Spirit Ape]

Thankyou Taomoew, so did you get the jumping and laughing orgasms from the seminar like in the clip i just watched?

 

What was the end result was it like its said to be?

 

Spirit Ape

[Seth Ananda]

Thankyou even for that much Taomeow, you Rock! Your Musings on the useless nature of 'Proof' are priceless and I will come back here to re-read a number of times. Thats something I have been trying to express to many people, although far less eloquently for years now. Maby I should have tried crazy glue and shingles...

The 'Prove it' mentality is part of the black and white 'Either/Or' mentality and simply leads to calcification of the brain and a life of perpetual tunnel vision.

The potential for 'Both/And' thinking allows for -healthy- skepticism and is obviously more in alignment with Middle way philosophy.

While everyone is fighting over the Right or the Left, 'Both/And' lets you take the Stairs...

I can't wait to hear the rest.

Thanks. Seth.

[seadog]

AHHH the glue that binds all mystery together

[joeblast]

rubbing alcohol works as well

[Spectrum]

At thE VERY LeAST you'll HALVE something to LOOK FORWARD to:

 

Edited September 3, 2008 by Spectrum

[Sahaj Nath]

well let me just say this:

 

in the past, i have fallen in love for far less.

 

[Mantra68]

Hey TaoMeow,

You are a brilliant writer. I can't wait to hear more about your experience. Hopefully, it was as profound for you as it looked.

 

By the way, the scar on Max's arm is from sword training. Also, he is not a reptilian, he is just the prodigy of his teachers, and they were AMAZING!

 

It was great meeting you!

 

Cheers!

 

Chris

[SiliconValley]

Also, he is not a reptilian..

Chris

 

 

Well, that's one thing people didn't call poor Max! I am sure he would burst into a smile, say God Bless and get back to his work, if he ever read all the discussion about him on this forum...

 

Taomeow...

 

Your "meow" is awesome!!!

Edited September 3, 2008 by SiliconValley

[gendao]

Also, he is not a reptilian

Chris

Yes, David Icke is going mainstream!

 

I think in 8 years, this will be a serious rebuttal in Presidential election debates.

[Aetherous]

well let me just say this:

 

in the past, i have fallen in love for far less.

 

Me too.

 

Waiting to hear more...

[Smile]

You are sweet Taomeow. Please continue...

 

[Taomeow]

You move me to tears, guys. I love you too.

 

Please bear with me... The thing is, a friend who collects articles on assorted taoist subjects on his site has told me more than once that he would like to see one of mine, so I decided I will use this opportunity, the seminar I've attended, to focus on one subject at a time, more or less, and write something that will actually have a beginning, a middle, and an end. But then I figured I owed the Taobums first -- after all, you're the ones who got me into it. So whatever I started writing, I decided to start posting here, even before it is complete. Now if you get bored with my beating around the thick bush with a long pole, just say so and I'll stop. And if you don't, then it will keep coming in installments, because I've no time to write as detailed an analysis (and I do intend to try to make it an "analysis," not just a collection of observations and personal experiences) as I have in mind, all at once. So... here it comes, Installment 2:

 

 

The first thing I will notice about a teacher is whether he or she is sufficiently alive. We've all had teachers, not of our own choosing, who were not -- my own memories of such teachers stretch all the way back to kindergarten. A spontaneous, uninhibited child will learn playfully and play while learning; most teachers are prepared to nip this learning mode in the bud, and are themselves the outcome of similar "nipping," and consequently, adults are overwhelmingly bad at this, i.e. at learning in this most effortless and most efficient manner. We have all been taught way too much by people, and via methods, that couldn't deliver the lesson without simultaneously arresting our physical, intellectual, spiritual development. I think one thing Max is aware of, and perhaps even slightly rebellious against, is that many in his audience need to unlearn the learning styles they had been indoctrinated in, ones that necessitate bartering your freedom for the teaching.

 

I say "slightly" because, on the other hand, there's no taoist learning without discipline. Cultivation is discipline, and freedom, paradoxically enough, only comes into structure, not into chaos. Show me someone whose life is chaotic and free, whose mind is in disarray and free -- and I will behold a miracle far greater than a saber-toothed hummingbird. However, there's a difference between form that has to be strong enough and reliable enough to hold an extremely volatile substance so as to gather it together in one place and keep it from dissipating -- and form for formality's sake, for the sake of arresting spontaneity and freedom. There's a difference between the spacious and vast albeit formal taoist robes and a straightjacket. So even if Max showed up clad in full regalia the way he used to, I would have no objections. If, however, he was someone who could wave his sleeves but couldn't move his mind to embrace an unexpected in-the-moment question or event in the audience with the kind of relaxed confidence that comes as spontaneous non-practice, on the breezy wings of uninhibited self-expression, only to those who have practiced a lot, I would begrudge him everything else. I would hold everything against a rigidly indoctrinated teacher -- or one who is afraid to deviate from a routine because he knows too little to venture into uncharted territory. Max proved to be neither.

 

What about the opposite pitfall then, the possibility of flakiness, of anything-goes-ness, of clowning around so as to win over the audience at any cost, including the cost to one's own dignity?.. No. Didn't fall into that one either.

 

But what about self-aggrandation, puffed up self-importance?.. Nope.

 

Cult-in-the-making brainwashing techniques?.. None, although something that qualifies as "suggestions" was used -- but it's impossible to grasp any discipline whose success is contingent on the co-creation between the art and the artist, the practitioner and the practice, the medium and the message, without some suggestive impulse, a nudge to one's intent, and some -- gasp -- faith. Faith is poor main course but excellent spice; it does facilitate digestion of any material it is applied to and it does increase its nurturing value. So... a bit of that. OK, maybe a lot. After all we were talking magic nonstop when the practice itself wasn't going on, in between the sittings -- Max and the audience were talking magic, and I loved being somewhere where it's taking place. Where things magical are discussed technically, where talking the fine points of communication with plants versus communication with your higher self within yourself is talking shop. Do this, don't do that, if you do this, you might wind up having this happen, and you don't want it. Only take a psychedelic if you can whisper to the mushroom to release its medicine into you without eating it or even touching it of even coming close! Only run the microcosmic orbit that has arisen spontaneously! If the woman calls herself a "white tigress," it means a guy should listen -- listen closely -- tigress... means, "be careful!" I would really love for some of my high school or college teachers to sit in on the lessons I was learning... I visualize their faces and start giggling -- all that time and effort they wasted on trying to give me a solid formal education, that I may wind up learning how to blow into a mudra to retrieve a lost key or summon a wayward friend!..

 

(to be continued...)

[三江源]

so you liked it then.

 

Good - oh.

[SiliconValley]

so you liked it then.

 

Good - oh.

 

 

[Mantra68]

That is some juicy writing. You are brilliant.

 

I looked forward to reading more and I know that the Kunlun experience, while immediate in it's effect, has it's slow reveal as well. So, take your time.

 

But just so you know, you've got us glued to the forum...

 

 

Note: Also, my mention of the reptilian subject was not TM's assumption. It was a subject that came up in casual conversation with the group after class. It was in reference to the "teachers" of the masters of every tradition on earth: Nagas, and others. The galactic teachers of old came in many forms and (some say) still do.

 

As for Max, suffice it to say that he is familiar with the topic.

Edited September 4, 2008 by Mantra68

[宁]

hello lady TM - i don't think there is such thing as good or bad choise, at least for a daoist, it's about what is SUITABLE or not, for a given moment, and SUITABLE comes from SUIT, that meas something you are supposed to wear... am i making sense?

[Yoda]

Sweet!!!

 

Smile... dig that popcorn dude!!!

[rain]

ach zo...

tao muff

uncontrollable sabrehum awaits glueless virginmusings

 

dont tell me youare so dolled in yer dreams that yer cannot

use the other half brrrain?

 

adore you,..like all the others Latifa. but THIS pausing is SEIGPINING!

 

(eheheh

i dont give shit of course. Im NOT so interested, nonono)

 

SHAMANISM give us

SHA MAN ISM

 

pretty prrrreeease...

 

(Scrapbook?) ...wow..august child?

Edited September 5, 2008 by rain

[Taomeow]

Installment 3

 

Once you've decided to participate in something like this, after the initial process of vascillating between "why should I -- why don't I" has yielded a "let's do it and see what happens," there's three possible ways you can go. You can place your entire conscious awareness outside, keep your analytical facilities busy, watch others, draw whatever conclusions from whatever you notice. Or you can let the process draw you in, ignore "others" and focus on what's going on with you, then lose the "observer" altogether and become the process. And, finally, you can shuttle between the two modes, in and out of the inner and the outer, there and back, now a researcher, now a guinea pig, and occasionally both at once.

 

The first mode, that of an "objective" observer, does not interest me one bit, because it is so inefficient in dealing with live phenomena. No one has the right to claim "objectivity" because anything you perceive is invariably filtered through the prism of you, personally, and pretending that you are not there and the data collect themselves is not merely "reductionist" but, if you think of it for a moment, tragically ridiculous -- hilariously preposterous -- just plain idiotic. You were there, researcher, observer, data collector! You made a dent in what you were researching, observing, collecting! You are the dent! Quit denying it and respect your own presence in the space-time continuum and beyond, and stop milking your silly objectivity cow with her tortured, dry udder that can only nourish delusions -- for "objectivity" is the biggest delusion of them all, the lie to end all lies.

 

So my choice was between the two remaining modes -- but actually, I didn't have to choose. At an earlier time in my life, I've been trained in dividing my awareness and simultaneously being aware of the way my awareness is divided at any given moment -- not unlike the way you spread your physical weight between the "full" and the "empty" legs in taijiquan, on a fluid, constantly shifting sliding scale that allows you to even talk "percentages" -- eighty-five percent on the right, fifteen on the left, ninety percent yin, ten percent yang, ninety-nine percent "here," one percent "there..." So for me, the whole seminar was, among other things, a practice in this kind of shifting. I was aware of what's going on with others; then not -- ninety-nine percent not, eighty-five percent not, fifty percent -- then aware again, ninety percent outside, ten percent inside "my own stuff" -- then the inner, "my own" expanding, engulfing most, almost all, all of my presence -- then an interruption from the outside and I'm back there, with the rest of you and out of me. That sort of presence.

 

So -- what was going on outside, what was going on inside, and what was going on in the mysterious realm that is neither -- that is, instead, the ever-shifting border between being and becoming?..

 

The best I can do with observations collected in the above-mentioned manner is present a series of glimpses. Glimpses of Max, his assistants, the students, myself, the practice. I focus on one, then the other, then all, then none -- and I notice...

 

Glimpses of Max. I watch his posture closely, and am satisfied. He lives in his body comfortably and manifests a presence of self-acceptance and authority. His head is shaved, and a student of phrenology could perhaps derive some information from the cranial configuration on display -- but he asserts the practice makes the bones of the skull movable, and the shape will change and keep changing and won't be "frozen" in one particular position. Is it true? I watch closely. When he works on one of the students, apparently producing some deeply felt effects that show up on the surface as slow at first, then faster, then oscillating, high-speed, wide-amplitude vibration of the student's whole body, not voluntary, no, the amplitude and the speed are like nothing one can "do" -- as Max is doing his "thing," whatever it is, do I notice the back of his head change its shape? The bump right there, at the outside of the visual cortex -- does it bulge out, does it look different than it did only minutes before? I'm sure it does. Does it?.. I'm not sure...

 

(to be continued)

[Yoda]

In NJ, he let us bums take a close look at his head and the sutures (sp?) of his skull are definitely soft and puffy like a baby's.

[VCraigP]

Installment 3

 

Once you've decided to participate in something like this, after the initial process of vascillating between "why should I -- why don't I" has yielded a "let's do it and see what happens,"

 

 

 

Thank you so much for this gift Taomeow.

 

I met Max and Chris yesterday at a pre seminar talk.

 

For a long time I have been vascillating between the two poles of should I , why should I.

 

I was already on my way to Phoenix to participate when you started posting about your experiences and so I have been eagerly anticipating more from you before my own "experiment" will begin tomorrow.

 

I had been undecided for several months but had missed the last cycle of classes. This time when new class schedule was posted for august/september I was still vascillating and the locations which made the most sense didn't make sense with my personal, business and family schedule.

 

Then a night or two before leaving for a 10 day vacation in Northern california woodlands about three weeks ago I had a very significant dream. Unmistakably some form of connection or communication to/from or about Max which made it very clear to me that I would go.

 

So here I sit in Phoenix waiting for tomorrow and what will come.

 

I promise to report back. I also promise my prose will not reach Taomeows poetic heights. Meanwhile I will be awaiting the next installment more than eagerly.

 

 

Craig