the question of falling in love...

[sunshine]

What do you think girls & guys:

 

when one does not get somebody else out of ones head. What is its meaning?

 

the buddhist guys will probably say: I am entangled in the realm of lust & desire!

 

the releasers will say: isn't it imperturbability you want more than anything else?

 

and so on

 

 

but any idea what it does mean?

 

Harry

[90_1494798740]

but any idea what it does mean?

 

5380[/snapback]

 

 

I don't have the solution, but I remember book - I once read (unfortunately I don't have it anymore): Energy Tapping. It's about energy psychology (very similar to the taoist view of emotions). It also has a chapter about (bad) relationships or the issue of always falling in love with with the wrong person. In short: through your believes, attitudes, ... you form an energy pattern that seeks its counterpart (this isn't restricted to relationships - indeed very taoistic). By changing your attitudes, believes, your overall energy (the focus lies on tapping certain meridian points in a specific order which is specific for the problem) changes and attracts different attractors / types of persons.

Another aspect is the view of natural science. There is really a lot of research going on. The focus lies here on the hormones (jing) and the brain (the first one). I have an really interesting article about that (I can't find at the moment; I'm going to post a summary when I've found it).

[Yoda]

when you are obsessed with someone or something, that's good... your chi can flow more strongly having a specific focal point. Be sure to let it flow freely by focusing on what is good about the situation, the individual, etc. That way you channel the good stuff.

 

Even if you want something that is impossible, don't trouble yourself with the details. Just appreciate and have fun with fantasies, etc and you will bring in more positive qualities that will eventually attract more people or situations like that.

 

Be happy that you have locked on to the signal, don't try to wean yourself of that. It is a precious first step towards the creation of any desire.

 

-Yoda

[TwoTrees]

I know your out there somewhere

Though we may be worlds apart

I may not see you with my eyes

feel you with my hands

but I feel you with my heart

I stand here waiting patiently...

for just if only one glimpse of thee

 

and if fate has it for me to spend my

lifetimes alone

then I smile to myself, and let it swallow me

happiness shown...

[neimad]

What do you think girls & guys:

 

when one does not get somebody else out of ones head. What is its meaning?

 

the buddhist guys will probably say: I am entangled in the realm of lust & desire!

 

the releasers will say: isn't it imperturbability you want more than anything else?

 

and so on

but any idea what it does mean?

 

Harry

5380[/snapback]

 

biochemical addictions.

left over mammalian instinct with the need to recognise your mother for survival purposes create hormone or biochemical patterns that release feel good chemicals when that particular face is around you.

 

absence of the person in question = no release of chemicals = withdrawl symptoms = cannot stop thinking about the person.

 

biochemical responses are, in my opinion, the slowest form of thinking or being. most people exist at this level. warriors seek to move beyond this kind of thing... living at a faster level of thought patterns, as pure energy or electricty with the absence of words.

 

its harsh but true. gentle detachment is the way to go..... the love most people speak about is fake, just chemicals in the brain... thats all.

 

true love is unconditional and it doesn't hurt!

[sunshine]

O.k. then. How does a warrior choose a mate? no affection?

[voice]

What do you think girls & guys:

 

when one does not get somebody else out of ones head. What is its meaning?

 

Harry

5380[/snapback]

 

When I can't get somebody, something, someplace, some song etc. out of my head...it is because I have lost my center, or part of it, to that entity.

 

I lose my center to them because I haven't yet identified with that pattern of energy in myself. Actually, there are two steps to this. First, being attracted to that entity because it has an energy that I lack and want. Second, falling for the later heaven form of that energy that lies outside of me.

 

Now, if that later heaven form falls for me too, then we can have a relationship and I can spend time resonating with her as she resonates with me. That, however, just deepens the later heaven "trap" (see Plato and the don't marry site).

 

The solution for me is the inner smile. I feel inside the parts of me that are not vibrant, that are strung out in desire, sad in lack, attached to the outside. And, I smile to them. I let a warm, glowing, unattached smile emanate from my tan tiens. Feelings of sadness, anger, pity etc. often well up in my when those parts feel the smile. I smile deep into those parts. No, I don't force the smile on them, but allow the smile to resonate in the deep core of those parts that are me, but don't feel of me, but feel lost to the other.

 

The result is strength and integrity. Now, you no longer need the other. And, when you don't need them, they are less likely to recoil from your neediness. And, to be with them, be in the presence of their jing, will give you so much more to play with.

 

Happy smiles to you!

Chris

[90_1494798740]

I lose my center to them because I haven't yet identified with that pattern of energy in myself. Actually, there are two steps to this. First, being attracted to that entity because it has an energy that I lack and want. Second, falling for the later heaven form of that energy that lies outside of me.

 

Now, if that later heaven form falls for me too, then we can have a relationship and I can spend time resonating with her as she resonates with me. That, however, just deepens the later heaven "trap" (see Plato and the don't marry site).

 

 

Can you explain the thing with later and early heaven? Later heaven is the manifestation of energy on earth, right? The identification with the outside world (relationships, marriage, ...) is the problem / trab. It's like treating the symptoms instead of healing the cause on an energetic level (very common in our society, not only in western medicine)?

[voice]

Later heaven is a world of form and much polarization (yin and yang).

 

Early heaven is a formless world with much less polarizaiton (yin and yang) and more neutral state (yuan).

 

Primoridal heaven is an inconceivable world with no polarization.

 

Or, so they say.

[90_1494798740]

The article, I just mentioned in the pornography discussion thread, by Anqelique Serpent "Magical Ethics: The Power of Thought" has also some nice thoughts with respect to (love) relationships:

Energy vampirism is not good "magical ethics", and it takes years of staying grounded to really get clear of these energy sucking habits, and even then you must be vigilant for the shadow.

 

I recommend the book "The Celestine Prophecies" for a good understanding of the dynamics of power games, which are usually related to the power chakra. Power games, power chakra... makes sense, eh?

 

TCP calls the different dynamics "Control dramas". The control drama of each individual is usually established in childhood, when the child first begins to think they are not worthy of the radiant flow of life energy Goddess provides, and begins to close the crown chakra and cut themselves off from Source.

 

The sixth insight mentioned in TCP outlined 4 main control dramas that people use to feed on each other's energy. The 4 types are the Interrogator, the Aloof, the Poor Me and the Intimidator.

 

It is useful to know what is your favorite control dramas, so you can notice when you are being a vampire and get grounded. Be honest with yourself! Most people have one primary drama, and secondary dramas to call upon as needed. Everybody uses some of them, there are no exceptions.

 

Interrogators will ask you questions and then judge you for your answers. You can recognize it from a million cop shows, the classic scene in the interrogation room where the person being interrogated tells their side of what happened, and the Cops pick their story to pieces and judge them.

 

Aloof people play "hard to get" and make you chase after them. Greta Garbo was the classic aloof. "I vant to be alone". Ever try to have a conversation with someone and it is like pulling hen's teeth to get them to open up? Aloof control strategy. It is related to shyness, shy people are often afraid of rejection. They avoid rejection by rejecting others first, and by hiding themselves.

 

Poor Me types try to make you feel sorry for them, and seek to feed on your pity. They try to make you responsible for what happens in their life. They have a victim attitude, because to the victim goes the sword of blame and the weapon of guilt. At present, it is almost trendy for accusations of child abuse to become a weapon in an ugly divorce. Most often the accusations are not true, and they do terrible harm. Most commercials on TV for charities use this control strategy to solicit donations. A humorous example of this control game is the scene from Monty Python's "Life of Brian". A beggar loses a leg and find he gets more donations, so he cuts off the other leg, himself.

 

Intimidators try to frighten you. Monster movies like "The Mummie's Curse" are a funny example of this dynamic... usually the mummy is a very slow creature, a child could run circles around it and never get caught, but it is so scary it's victims are frozen in fear and make stupid mistakes.

 

We never completely lose the Shadow side, or we could not continue to exist in polarity-space. It may sleep for years, like a well fed snake, but it will come up ugly whenever your energy gets low, no matter how enlightened you get. The rocks that are hidden at high tide, appear at low tide. Everybody does it... Even Gandhi used Poor Me as a strategy against the British occupation. He made them look bad for their treatment of a defenseless naked Holy Man.

 

It is important to identify your family control dramas, because usually your own control dramas were a reaction to theirs, or a mimicking of them. Aloof is a defense against the interrogator, poor me is a defense against the intimidator. My father was an Interrogator/Intimidator, my Mother was a Poor Me and an Intimidator. So, it is no surprise that I was an Aloof/Poor Me who grew into an intimidator... I'm pretty good at "interrogation scenes" too... mostly for roleplay... but not always!

 

There is another way to handle these dynamics when faced with them, and that is surrender. Build up your own energy, and give people what they want! Most people will not bite the hand that feeds them, and if your own energy level is good, you will not be so vulnerable to the dynamics.

 

Sometimes it is effective to call people on what they are doing, naming the strategy (without using jargon) usually diffuses it, but try to avoid making judgments. Have compassion. These dynamics are simply human nature, people feeding themselves as best they can, because they do not feel loved. Your love is abundant, you can afford to be generous, and what you put out, comes back multiplied.

 

However, beware... some people are "bottomless pits" who will continue to feed on you for as long as you allow it. Unless they are your own young children, it does not serve either of you for them to become wholly dependent on you for their energy. Martyrdom does not serve. They need to learn to feed themselves.

 

Thus, I am generous with my Shakti, particularly at the beginning of training to give a "jump start" to get your motor going... but I also encourage students to learn to stay grounded and feed themselves as soon as possible, to turn to your own heart for answers, instead of me. Your becoming addicted to me does not serve either of us.

 

Persistent vampires need to be "weaned". I attract a lot of vampires, because I am generous with my energy. I can afford to be generous, because it is abundant. Still, periodically I do a ritual to clean my "aka cords". These are etheric cords that are a normal connection between friends and lovers, they are like the superstrings that hold the universe together. Everything you see, touch, think of or have any kind of relationship with creates an aka cord. Most are flimsy and fade quickly, but they can also become negative attachments and vampiric siphons.

 

Here is the ritual I use, how to do it:

 

Get grounded and draw in as much light as you can hold. With your imagination, first as to be shown all of the cords that connect you to people who are in service to your Highest Good, and only those cords. You may get an impression of being in the center of a big spiderweb, with cords coming from different chakras and radiating out from you in all directions, or you may get a sense of being surrounded by a crowd of people. These cords benefit you, so you do not need to clear them. Thank these people for being in your life and send light and love down the cords to them, with your gratitude. Give thanks for being shown that you are loved and supported, and let the vision go. Do not be surprised if some old friends contact you in the days following, to tell you they were thinking of you warmly. Nice bonus!

 

Fill yourself with light again, especially light from the Earth heart. Ask to be shown all of the cords that connect you to people or things that feed on your energy but do not serve your highest good. Most of these are people who want something that they think you can give them. Release the light down the cords to them, with an intention that it show up on their end as whatever it is they think they need from you, whatever serves their highest good. Imagine that as the light goes down the cord, it burns up the cord like a lit fuse, so that it is gone. Offer thanks to Goddess for Her abundance that allows you to be generous, and conclude the ritual.

 

You may find that some of these people will unconsciously feel the cord being disconnected, and they might contact you in the days following and complain that you feel distant. Others, the bottomless pits will not be satisfied with your gift and will promptly reattach to you.

 

A day or two later, repeat the ritual. Give love to those who support you as before, and again ask to see the cords that connect you to those who do not serve your highest good. There will be fewer cords than before, ideally there will be none. The cords that have been reattached will be those of the persistent vampires.

 

This time, instead of sending them more energy, imagine you are sucking on the cords like a drinking straw. Be clear in your intention not to feed on their energy, only to take back your own stolen energy from them. Take your time at it, sip slowly so they will not be abruptly deflated. You would not want them to pass out while driving, or anything, and it could happen if their energy is very low. Keep a peripheral awareness of these cords for a few days. When these vampires realize (probably unconsciously) that there is no free lunch, they will give up, pull in their cords and stop preying on you. They may go off and feed on someone else, but you cannot control what someone else does. You can only control your own energy. Alternatively, disconnect the cord from yourself, and plug it into their own higher self.