Coincidence

[Sloppy Zhang]

I know lots of people who say, "everything happens for a reason."

 

Or, "there is no such thing as coincidence."

 

Sure those tend toward absolutes but... well in day to day life, it's quite common for people to say, "wow, what a coincidence." You know, talking to a friend about someone else, suddenly that friend pops up and you're like, "wow, what a coincidence!"

 

But where do you draw the line between coincidence and... something more?

 

This is just something that I've noticed happening to me lately. Maybe it's always been this way, or maybe I'm just paying more attention to it than usual, but here's a story of what I'm talking about:

 

I'm standing in line at a very busy lunch place one day. This place is packed, shoulder to shoulder. I'm standing in line, been there for 10 mins waiting, so by now I'm fairly bored and looking around. Far in the distance, through a mass of bobbing and weaving heads, I see this girl getting some food elsewhere. For a moment I imagine what it would be like if I were to, say, strike up a conversation with this girl. I wonder what her personality might be like, what he voice might be like, you know... typical "fantasy" land stuff, but seeing as how I was STILL stuck in line, I went back to wondering when I was going to get food.

 

All in all, the thoughts about this girl who I had never met and will never meet again lasted about 6 seconds max.

 

So 5 minutes later I get my food, and walk over to get a drink. I'm filling up my cup, when this hand taps me on the shoulder. I figure it might be one of my friends who I went there with, but I turn around and it is... that girl. She's asking me where to get cups for the drinks and I'm like... well, I guess you can say I'm thinking, "wow, what a coincidence!"

 

Well she gets her cup and moves on. I finally got my food and move on. But you know, of all the dozens and dozens of people packed shoulder to shoulder, this random person, who (thinking back) should have already left, seeing as how I was in line waiting for food while she was getting hers, somehow managed to remain in there for an extra 10 minutes for me to get my food, then for me to get a drink, so she can get a drink and not know where the cups are and...

 

Well, it just seems that it's a bit against the odds

 

And like I said, this isn't really an isolated incident, not recently anyway, which is why I was wondering what you guys thought of "coincidence".

Edited September 23, 2008 by Sloppy Zhang

[thelerner]

Whether randomness or fate, in the end it doesn't matter. What does is how you take advantage of what life puts on your plate.

 

In this case you should have gotten a phone number .

 

 

Michael

[Spiritual_Aspirant]

I know lots of people who say, "everything happens for a reason."

 

Or, "there is no such thing as coincidence."

 

Sure those tend toward absolutes but... well in day to day life, it's quite common for people to say, "wow, what a coincidence." You know, talking to a friend about someone else, suddenly that friend pops up and you're like, "wow, what a coincidence!"

 

But where do you draw the line between coincidence and... something more?

 

This is just something that I've noticed happening to me lately. Maybe it's always been this way, or maybe I'm just paying more attention to it than usual, but here's a story of what I'm talking about:

 

I'm standing in line at a very busy lunch place one day. This place is packed, shoulder to shoulder. I'm standing in line, been there for 10 mins waiting, so by now I'm fairly bored and looking around. Far in the distance, through a mass of bobbing and weaving heads, I see this girl getting some food elsewhere. For a moment I imagine what it would be like if I were to, say, strike up a conversation with this girl. I wonder what her personality might be like, what he voice might be like, you know... typical "fantasy" land stuff, but seeing as how I was STILL stuck in line, I went back to wondering when I was going to get food.

 

All in all, the thoughts about this girl who I had never met and will never meet again lasted about 6 seconds max.

 

So 5 minutes later I get my food, and walk over to get a drink. I'm filling up my cup, when this hand taps me on the shoulder. I figure it might be one of my friends who I went there with, but I turn around and it is... that girl. She's asking me where to get cups for the drinks and I'm like... well, I guess you can say I'm thinking, "wow, what a coincidence!"

 

Well she gets her cup and moves on. I finally got my food and move on. But you know, of all the dozens and dozens of people packed shoulder to shoulder, this random person, who (thinking back) should have already left, seeing as how I was in line waiting for food while she was getting hers, somehow managed to remain in there for an extra 10 minutes for me to get my food, then for me to get a drink, so she can get a drink and not know where the cups are and...

 

Well, it just seems that it's a bit against the odds

 

And like I said, this isn't really an isolated incident, not recently anyway, which is why I was wondering what you guys thought of "coincidence".

 

I don't believe in coincidences, so if that girl keeps popping up, maybe karma is trying to give you a hint.. And had you taken it, like Michael said, a phone number too

[Sloppy Zhang]

Whether randomness or fate, in the end it doesn't matter. What does is how you take advantage of what life puts on your plate.

 

In this case you should have gotten a phone number .

Michael

 

I don't believe in coincidences, so if that girl keeps popping up, maybe karma is trying to give you a hint.. And had you taken it, like Michael said, a phone number too

 

Haha, well guys, I was definitely hoping to get something just a liiiiiitle bit more elevated out of the coincidence thing, and I really only told that story as an example to get the idea of what I was thinking about... you know, that a coincidence is SO coincidental it is TOO coincidental..... I mean it's not like the only reason you run into a girl is to get her number (or maybe you do, I dunno, I'm just not that kind of guy)

 

But as long as it's been brought up...

 

You know I mentioned that it wasn't an isolated experience (the coincidences), well over the past couple of days I guess I have been taking your advice without thinking, and somehow I got invited to a Chinese karaoke night this weekend and... I don't even speak Chinese

 

It sounds fun and I'm looking forward to it, but I just thought I'd let you guys know what's going on.

[Gerard]

Yuen Fen. Destiny, it is written. Yes, 110% believer.

[.broken.]

Yuen Fen. Destiny, it is written. Yes, 110% believer.

 

Amen

[Sloppy Zhang]

Yuen Fen. Destiny, it is written. Yes, 110% believer.

 

Yuen Fen, that's the word!

 

I had heard it a couple years ago, but couldn't remember what it was, I did remember what it meant though... thanks for the reminder

[Vigilant3]

I would have to concur with the first response to your post which indicated something along the lines of life being what you make of it. So i'd say there's a good chance that the various occuring events in your life may be fate-related (the girl approaching you), but causality will affect the outcome of what happens next. It's like being given a fork in the road. You either choose to strike a conversation with this woman and maybe she becomes your future wife, or you choose to ignore the opportunity and go on eating your fast food.

 

 

 

I can't possibly believe in "fate" or "destiny" as an ultimate truth, because in doing so I would be accepting that my entire life is predetermined in its sequence, and so there is no point for all beings to live. Without choice what are we? Pawns? Why would such a complex being as those born of humanity exist only to exist? It is like playing a video game where you cannot actually move the character; merely watch him/her fail or succeed.

 

 

 

Lame

[chrisjswanson]

Hmm interesting.

 

For me Fate and Free Will are not mutually exclusive.

 

The difference between random chance and destiny or deeper meaning comes from within yourself.

 

I'd go so far as to say that this difference is illusory...

 

peace + love

Chris

[Sloppy Zhang]

I can't possibly believe in "fate" or "destiny" as an ultimate truth, because in doing so I would be accepting that my entire life is predetermined in its sequence, and so there is no point for all beings to live. Without choice what are we? Pawns? Why would such a complex being as those born of humanity exist only to exist? It is like playing a video game where you cannot actually move the character; merely watch him/her fail or succeed.

 

 

I'd go so far as to say that this difference is illusory...

 

peace + love

Chris

 

Lately I've started thinking about something similar... as in it is more of a false dichotomy that we ourselves have created.

 

Am I fated to go left? But I have a choice... if I wanted to I could choose to go right... but then I would have been fated to make that choice. I think about that and move to go left, but realize that I was fated to think that I was fated to do that!!!

 

It can get pretty crazy.

 

But then you let go of the concepts of predestination and choice. Does it matter how the choice was made, because in the end you wind up going in a certain direction and have to deal with what that path holds.

 

When we made the idea of decision making, we then invented the idea of having decisions made for us, but if we let go of one or both of those ideals, and just act, in whatever way that may be, things happen and life goes on...

 

Not an idea I've perfected, but just something that I've been mulling over the past couple of weeks.

[Pranaman]

synchronicity is all too common for there not to be some kind of metaphysics behind it, to my mind at least. I don't have a hard time believing in fate and destiny as a predetermined path, because I'd be the one who determined it before incarnating. But I doubt it works like that, possibly the events that are part of destiny are only experience in one form or another, not an exact event. Anyway, coincidence is way too common.

[metzu]

Co..in...ci.dence

I take it to mean what happens coincides with where the mind and feelings are taking us when our thinking and feelings are as one. So that we are aware of things at that particular level, we naturally see, feel,and are aware of things at that time that in the past we would have just ignored as meaningless, walking by without even noticing.

[doc benway]

The human brain is expert at taking in data, making comparisons, and picking out similarities and relationships. What is a coincidence really? Is it a human conclusion that thoughts and observations are related? Does that say anything about the outside world or does it say more about the human mind?

Is there an outside world? Maybe coincidences are further evidence that existence is mind.

It certainly is fascinating and intriguing when it happens.

[Unconditioned]

Who makes the connection between free-will or fate? Who decides "I will talk to her", "wow, this must mean something", or "just dumb luck"?

 

If you look deeply, you will find that neither is wrong nor are they right. It depends on your vantage point - inside or outside.

 

From a normal outside view, we use our minds to interpret events. From an inside view, all of our thoughts are a product of conditioning - either external/cultural or physical dispositioning (genetics). Remove the conditioning and you have no thoughts that are 'yours' except "I AM".

 

Why are they both not 'wrong'?

Fate? Yes - the conditioning is working as it does and the REAL YOU has no say.

Coincidence? Yes - things are working as they do the meaning is added on by our minds.

 

And why are they not 'right'?

They're just concepts.