Kunlun for Social Anxiety?

[ddilulo_06]

Hey guys,

 

I am really intrigued about this Kunlun stuff as I have been reading about it for the past few days. I bought the book yesterday and it should be here within a week... can't wait!

 

I'm curious if any of you have noticed improvements or maybe even cured social anxiety with Kunlun. I still seek approval from others to try and satisfy my ego. I care about what others think to the point of building myself into an "approval prison". I notice I speak quietly and I'm too careful not to step on other's toes as to piss them off. I'm self-conscious all the time I'm around others and I have sweaty palms much of the time in situations like sitting in college classes. It's a good day for me if I can just have a good conversation with someone and make them feel good instead of awkward. I'm totally preoccupied with this and I've been like this as long as I can remember.

 

From what I can tell, the root cause is being attached to outcomes. I've been controlling and critical instead of allowing and accepting. I believe this is what it boils down to... I'm looking to see if Kunlun helps with self-acceptance, shamelessness, and getting into FLOOOOOOOOW.

 

So, what say you fellow bumz? Anybody transcended their shyness issues with Kunlun?

 

This forum rocks! Thanks for your responses.

 

Dusty

Edited October 2, 2008 by ddilulo_06

[Aetherous]

I'm still shy, but I don't care as much that I'm shy. I'm more okay with who I am now regardless of what it is. So I guess that makes me less shy.

 

That seems to be an effect the practice has had on me.

[joeblast]

Looks like you've got good direction! Kunlun may help as far as this goes, but the real change in this matter will need to come from within yourself.

[Yoda]

ddilulo_06,

 

I think that we are all in this same basic situation. I think all cultivation traditions address this point effectively and kunlun is no exception. Finding a path that clicks for you is key.

 

I think in the beginning stages of a cultivation path, where I'm at, the desire for approval is gently soothed. But during intermediate stages of the path, the desire for approval gets its butt kicked as the energies you are incorporating simply don't mix well with what others think so you consciously fire them from your board of directors.

 

But you'll need patience in the meantime. Let us know how you like the book.

 

Your pal,

Yoda

[markern]

I don`t know how Kunlun will effect social anxiety but i suppose it will help a good bit in the beginning and a lot after a while. What I do know is that basic mindfulness meditation hos been proven in several studies to combat anxiety a lot. Because these studies usualy don`t have a very long time span it is likely that the results over a longer period of time will be even better. I`m fairly certain they will more or less disapear conmpletly after a while. The Art of Living pranayma Sudarshan Kriya has been showed to have a huge effect in reducing depression, presumably also anxiety. It is basicly a modified version of Bastrika so if you don`t want to take a whole art of living course (six days) to learn the technique you can learn Bastrika from loads of yoga teachers. I personaly and many others have also found the six healing aounds to be an excellent way to maintain mental health and combat insecurites. The inner smile also helps a lot with this. Besides this any sort of taiji Qi Gong or yoga helps. Partly through it`s relacing effect, partly through relasing the breath, partly through producing energy that works in the opposite direction and partly through structuring your physical and energetic boody in a way that is correct and not very conduce to negative emotions. I find that the structuring of my body through Iyengar yoga reduces sosial anxieties and increases confidence and good emotions a lot.

[rain]

I don't know if it applies to anyone else, but for me kunluntraining in group has taken away a great deal of social anxiety. The trusting atmosphere and the embracing group energy in the Oslo sessions combined with the specific contemplative forms with handmudras helped me release much stagnated energy in my heart chakra, that until then had made it hard to stay with it, trusting larger community. I am very grateful for this.

[markern]

I don't know if it applies to anyone else, but for me kunluntraining in group has taken away a great deal of social anxiety. The trusting atmosphere and the embracing group energy in the Oslo sessions combined with the specific contemplative forms with handmudras helped me release much stagnated energy in my heart chakra, that until then had made it hard to stay with it, trusting larger community. I am very grateful for this.

 

 

I would imagine all the letting go completly and jumping around like crasy stuff should help you loose social inhibitions.

 

How about doing Kunlun, some sort of stilness meditation and the healing sounds and ossibly with some added affirmations about being confident after the meditation. I think that should be a package that realy helps you get rid of anxiety.

[rain]

I would imagine all the letting go completly and jumping around like crasy stuff should help you loose social inhibitions.

 

How about doing Kunlun, some sort of stilness meditation and the healing sounds and ossibly with some added affirmations about being confident after the meditation. I think that should be a package that realy helps you get rid of anxiety.

 

It's cool with folks doing all sorts of involuntary fre movements with sounds yes, it kind of loosens up everyone, and rids you of expectations.

I had my experience with the heart chakra during Golden Flower which for me is a calm and contemplative form. No falling off there, just hands directing awareness and consciousness into the chest. Followed by a massive charge and release of energy and emotion.

Edited October 2, 2008 by rain

[Birch]

You'd be surprised how many of us would like approval and love from everyone else. I may be generalizing, but I'd say 'pretty much everyone' ;-)

 

And those that say they don't need it from anyone are likely attempting to reverse their need by denying it. Probably more harm than good?

 

And what's so wrong with needing love from people? Comments welcome on that question, I'm not sure what could be wrong with that. Maybe what some people do to themselves to get it?

 

But the idea that you can love yourself is a really good one to embrace because however much anyone else loves you, if you don't then it doesn't help very much, does it? It's also a nice base from which you can cultivate love for others.

 

Anxiety is a blight but it's not very dangerous. I've dealt with it in a variety of versions over the years (including panic attacks).

 

I haven't tried Kunlun but have some long-winded ideas I could share if you're interested;-)

 

Scotty! Hard to imagine you being shy;-)

[rain]

You'd be surprised how many of us would like approval and love from everyone else. I may be generalizing, but I'd say 'pretty much everyone' ;-)

 

And those that say they don't need it from anyone are likely attempting to reverse their need by denying it. Probably more harm than good?

 

And what's so wrong with needing love from people? Comments welcome on that question, I'm not sure what could be wrong with that. Maybe what some people do to themselves to get it?

 

But the idea that you can love yourself is a really good one to embrace because however much anyone else loves you, if you don't then it doesn't help very much, does it? It's also a nice base from which you can cultivate love for others.

 

Anxiety is a blight but it's not very dangerous. I've dealt with it in a variety of versions over the years (including panic attacks).

 

I haven't tried Kunlun but have some long-winded ideas I could share if you're interested;-)

 

Scotty! Hard to imagine you being shy;-)

 

 

Yes, well I stopped by the word "approval": I would like to be specific about the word, as I

believe approvals may have a relative power when it comes to adressing love.

I've lived, being approved of by my surroundings my whole life....and now wonder;

Is it the non approving non judging FREE atmosphere of No Rules that is liberating. It is not about Doing Something but Letting Be, It is more like Loving Carelessness. Closer to the buddhist concept of neutrality..

So the fear that gets naturally adressed may be released AND transformed without approval (judgment) interfering in the generated healingprocess.

Just reflecting. Mark my questionmark.

?

Just my two kroner...

[Guest winpro07]

Edited October 3, 2008 by winpro07

[de_paradise]

Good comments. Along with Kunlun, I'd agree with the breath watching stillness meditation and yoga because that directly gives you physiological calmness.

 

I have personal biase, but I really recommend hypnotherapy as the quick way to take away the sweaty palms and the anxiety.

[Guest winpro07]

Edited October 3, 2008 by winpro07

[ddilulo_06]

Some very promising responses here guys... thanks.

 

And those that say they don't need it from anyone are likely attempting to reverse their need by denying it. Probably more harm than good?

 

I don't want BS myself into being "above" needing approval and turn into a narcissist. My intention is to let go of my insecurities so I can enjoy people more instead of trying to get reactions from them. I want to give vs take. My attention is still in the domain of trying to be comfortable with me instead of forgetting about me (self consciousness) and focusing/listening to them and sharing, joking, etc etc.

 

And what's so wrong with needing love from people? Comments welcome on that question, I'm not sure what could be wrong with that. Maybe what some people do to themselves to get it?

 

I don't want to thrown off by others' reactions so much, that's all. I don't want my happiness to be based off of how others' perceive me and be so stuck in self presentation. I want to be rooted in happiness whether I'm approved of or not. Me thinks this comes down to self approval/acceptance. Is this just a simple choice? To accept onself, or is there more to it? Do I just need to make the choice to just do whatever, and not worry about outcomes... (read: surrender)?

 

But the idea that you can love yourself is a really good one to embrace because however much anyone else loves you, if you don't then it doesn't help very much, does it? It's also a nice base from which you can cultivate love for others.

 

I've found that other's only love me as much as I love myself. And I love others as much as I love myself. It's the same energy, directed in in different places.

 

I haven't tried Kunlun but have some long-winded ideas I could share if you're interested;-)

 

Please...

 

 

 

I keep hearing happiness comes from within... but I haven't really figured this out yet. I think me seeking approval is an attempt at replacing this happiness that I'm not feeling. Does happiness come from sticking to your own principles (integrity), self respect, and self acceptance? Is that what people mean? Or do they mean happiness comes from within when you get out of your mind and somehow feel bliss/connection/fulfillment with "the one" or your higher self... god??? Does removing the emotional blocks with Kunlun help allow this feeling to come forth?

Edited October 3, 2008 by ddilulo_06

[三江源]

I want to give vs take.

 

 

 

Bingo, dude. That is your answer, in toto. Focus on that, from your heart, and the rest will fall into place.

 

Do the Smile practice every day and focus on giving. Cant go wrong.

[Nikola]

I haven't tried kunlun, but I'd like to share my opinion on the topic .

 

There can be many reasons for your type of social anxiety. For me it comes and goes, it's a constant "battle". Battle is a very wrong word, let me explain why.

It's a type of energy that can be directed imho. In my personal exerience, I have seen both sides of that same energy. One side is sweaty palms, nervousness, being to careful of what you say, wanting to be accepted etc. The other side is having a type of social power. Like somehow getting a bunch of people to sort of follow your orders by showing your "power". While the second one seems like more fun (and it is), it is essentially the same coin with two sides. So it doesn't really matter if it's one side of the coin or the other side of the coin, you're still playing the same nervous game.

Basically, it's wanting too much. When you're nervous you want the "power" very much and that only sends you in even more stress which manifests itself in sweaty palms or acting like you own everyone in the room.

So the solution really would be letting go of high expectations. If you want it too much (having fun, joking etc), you won't get it, or you'll get something you don't really want. I don't know if you play basketball, but it's something like when you want to score too badly, you never do. But if you realise how much scoring means in reality to you, then scoring isn't souch a problem. It's about awareness. And meditation is about awareness.

This is the principle that is present everywhere and in everything I belive. It's about always seeking the middle, and realising reality in everything you do. Seeing the right proportions etc etc.

This is a picture I found on a tennis psychology website (I have very much respect for sports psychology)

Which is funny because I've found on some other sites suggesting a breath counting meditation (essentially mindfullness) for tennis players psychological game.

Someone posted about scientific experimentation on meditation being good for anxiety. I think that it was 3 months of mindfullness meditation, not really sure though. It's not a long period that much I'm sure of.

 

Good luck with you rising above the anxiety, I'm absolutely sure it will happen for you. I would suggest meditation with kunlun, but I'm not sure if they complement each other or are antagonistic, so someone experienced on kunlun should tell you about that.

[mgd]

Edited November 12, 2008 by mgd

[Mantra68]

Hey Dusty,

We are all mirrors for the creator. We ARE the creator reflecting itself back on itself in seemingly infinite forms for the benefit of greater understanding. This is why the creator divided itself into so many fractals.

 

What am I?

Imagine you exist in a void. The only point of reference in knowing what you are is to move to the edge of that void and then look back on the whole. Now imagine you see that part of what you are, but there is more to understand because there is the consciousness that is observing the observed that has not yet been seen. So, in looking back on yourself, you create a duplicate and from that duplicate you move to that edge and reflect back again. You continue to do this until seemingly infinite divisions and reflections of yourself exist.

 

The Fibonacci series describes this "evolution" as it starts with 0 (void) and continues to 1 (the perspective from the edge). The pattern is developed as the consciousness repeats this process creating a new form from the previous two. This is the pattern: 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 144, etc, and this is how things evolve in nature.

 

What brings all of the fractals (us) back to one is when they individually gain a greater understanding of their true nature. The drop returns to merge with the ocean of the divine, both nourished by it's experiences.

 

What Kunlun does is it harmonizes the imbalances in your being so that you can see yourself more clearly. Like our Buddhist friends say, "It quickly clears the clouds so that the sunlight of the divine can shine."

 

It reveals the blocks and gives you a different perspective on them, and to a degree and "objective" perspective or non-attached perspective. From this perspective it can be easy to say, "Wow, that is a ridiculous thing for me to carry. It no longer serves me and I choose to let it go."

 

Even after seven years of this kind of processing (path erasing) I have deeper insights into my own "stuff." My practice revealed to me that I carry patterns of self doubt and self judgement. These are two biggies and they will jack you up on a regular basis, but what I learned is that when I break the pattern my reality changes.

 

If you are afraid of public speaking, go give a speech.

 

If you are afraid of what others will think of you, dye your hair purple and wear adult diapers on the outside of your clothes.

 

Put yourself in the situation and blow through it by either forcefully changing the pattern or simply surrendering to the outcome.

 

You will survive.

 

This the best way to break patterns. When the situation arises react differently than you normally would. If a certain song drives you crazy and fills you with hate, download it and play it until it no longer affects you. If gay animal porn scares you, Google 'gay-animal-porn' and watch it until it has no impact.

 

We must face our stuff because it is the only way to move on to a place of peace.

 

I like to think of my experience here as a my participation in a game simulation (nothing more). How well I play the game is important but part of that is understanding not to buy into the game too much and to remember it is just a game: a "gittin' rid of your own bullsh*t" game.

 

Surrender judgement. Surrender control. Surrender to the infinite love in your heart as you smile and breathe FREELY into it.

 

Enjoy your life.

 

Really,...do it.

 

Cheers!

 

Chris

Edited October 3, 2008 by Mantra68

[rain]

Edited October 3, 2008 by rain

[Mantra68]

"Put yourself in the situation and blow through it by either forcefully changing the pattern or simply surrendering to the outcome."

 

much love to you Chris for posting these reflections much needed.

smiles and wonders

Much luv back.

[ddilulo_06]

So in a nutshell it's seeing how we create our problems more clearly, saying, "That's insane!", and then waving bye bye bye choosing something else. Neato.

 

I just looked at the Kunlun level 1 seminar dates and locations. I'm in Folsom, Ca (20 mins east of Sacramento) and I see there is one in LA beginning on Oct 30. That gives me 27 days from now. I should have the book by late next week. (down to ~20 days now) Couple days to read it (18 days). I need to decide about a week before if I am going to arrange time off work and school. (11 days)

 

My question is how long does the average joe need to practice it to feel something? How long do most people practice before the sun beams down from the parting clouds with angels playing harps and shouting, "WOOHOO!!! THIS IS FOR ME! EUREKA!"

 

$300 (probably more like $500-600 after hotel, gas, food) is a LOT of money for me. I'm only 19 and work in a restaurant a couple days a week.

 

Will I have practiced long enough (11 days) to make a somewhat accurate judgment of if this method works for me?

 

If I don't go to this seminar, will there be a closer one to Sacramento soon? Does Max make yearly rounds or something?

 

Thanks all for sharing so much,

Dusty

Edited October 3, 2008 by ddilulo_06

[Spectrum]

The Fibonacci sequence is the linear number series generated by it's parent concept known as "The Golden Mean". This conceptual truth reaches through geometry, architecture, art & life itself. Fibonacci is one individual who fell upon the truths of this ever reaching curve by applying it's math to breeding. The fact that these concepts apply to the body is not new, have been practiced by many cultures, and have been passed on to this day through embodiment practices. Indeed this is the paradoxial geometry of growth and death, as the mean reaches into fractal terrain where whole numbers break down.

 

The perspective from center to edge is a the general Taoist notion of a path that exists be3tween nothing and something, stillness and motion. 0 & 1. The empty center, and the ever reaching circumference.

 

"Put yourself in the situation and blow through it by either forcefully changing the pattern or simply surrendering to the outcome."

 

let go first, entrain & pattern, ever after.

 

first to

force nothing

try easy

win last

 

This the best way to break patterns. When the situation arises react differently than you normally would. If a certain song drives you crazy and fills you with hate, download it and play it until it no longer affects you. If gay animal porn scares you, Google 'gay-animal-porn' and watch it until it has no impact.

 

...this form of sensory overload vs. deprivation sounds dangerous because it provides no safety net for someone who is "acting out" in an unsafe manner (conducive to healthy relationships), in particular when it comes to human relationships. I would say it better to go breed some dogs for real.

 

Take a "concept" to the extreme to test it's truthfulness. You can replace 'gay-animal-porn' with a number of other "relations" which disturb most normal people, and which if those normal people were not disturbed by these things... ???

Edited October 3, 2008 by Spectrum

[Birch]

Yes, well I stopped by the word "approval": I would like to be specific about the word, as I

believe approvals may have a relative power when it comes to adressing love.

I've lived, being approved of by my surroundings my whole life....and now wonder;

Is it the non approving non judging FREE atmosphere of No Rules that is liberating. It is not about Doing Something but Letting Be, It is more like Loving Carelessness. Closer to the buddhist concept of neutrality..

So the fear that gets naturally adressed may be released AND transformed without approval (judgment) interfering in the generated healingprocess.

Just reflecting. Mark my questionmark.

?

Just my two kroner...

 

 

Yep, approval is a tricky one. You're right to stop at it. For me, approval has (too) often been a condition for being loved, unfortunately. I could speculate on why, but it would be far too long;-)

 

Many people I know aren't anywhere near as thoughtful and enlightened as most of the people on TB. Glad to know that you're all here;-) - actually, you're everywhere in the world;-)

 

I'm still thinking that loving yourself (and it can just be acceptance) is a condition for feeling the love that others have for you. If you don't love yourself to some extent, then you just can't feel it when others do, even if they do. It's also a great thing to rely on when others don't love you and don't approve of you. At least, this has been my experience.

 

I agree with give rather than take, but if you don't give from a place where you love yourself, what are you giving? I'm not sure.

[三江源]

 

 

I agree with give rather than take, but if you don't give from a place where you love yourself, what are you giving? I'm not sure.

 

The Inner smile meditation is so easy, and step by step generates positive energy, and that includes in the heart. I guess it is a very Taoist approach, working from the organs first!

[ddilulo_06]

The Inner smile meditation is so easy, and step by step generates positive energy, and that includes in the heart. I guess it is a very Taoist approach, working from the organs first!

Can you tell me what that is, or is it copyrighted?