absolute direct work with fear

[Pranaman]

what do you think is the most direct and the most effective method for dealing with the energy of fear?

[Taomeow]

what do you think is the most direct and the most effective method for dealing with the energy of fear?

Face it. Look it in the eye. Make it blink.

[JackSquat]

Face it. Look it in the eye. Make it blink.

 

 

Couldn't have said it better myself

[Aetherous]

Allow it to overtake you completely and let go of control.

 

...

 

Edit: I was talking about how to work with the fear of death (the root of fear)...not phobias or anxieties, which should be faced.

Edited October 21, 2008 by Scotty

[Apech]

What kind of fear? Fear of a situation? or anxiety? or phobia. Cos the solutions are slightly different.

[Spectrum]

Alone you can take only whats with you Face to Face

Edited October 22, 2008 by Spectrum

[Teddy]

Zhan Zhuang

[mouse]

what do you think is the most direct and the most effective method for dealing with the energy of fear?

 

 

Pranaman,

 

I just heard a Dhamma talk a couple days back directly dealing with topic on fear.

 

Many forest monks train their minds in the forest and often have tigers prowling around their spot with only an umbrella between themselves and the tiger.

 

The thing about the kilesas is that they do not like to be looked at. So watch where the fear arises from in your mind (citta). More often or not you will realise that the fear arises from an attachment to your body which is a fear of death.

 

Not sure if you do meditation but sitting in samadhi and entering jhana will give rise to sukkha which counters fear. It does provide the calm needed to examine the fear which is anata (not self).

 

The story goes that there was a bikkhu who heard a tiger growl, feared for his life and then realised it was very unbecoming of a monk. So he sat there and examined his heart. In the end, he saw through the kilesas and even went searching for the tiger.

 

For a layperson, with physical danger as in the case of the tiger you should probably avoid it. However, with fear arising from visions etc, it is said that they cannot harm you. They are only mental fabrications that are also subject to the cycle of birth and decay.

 

Hence the most effective method of dealing with fear or any other emotion is to go to the source. It all stems from mind. Observe it, and see through its nature. Sights and sounds are just vibration. It is the mind that attaches meaning to it.

 

Enjoy your practice,

mouse

[Pranaman]

thanks everyone.

 

I fear social encounters with people that I used to drugs with.

Like, whenever my brother and his girl are around, i get uprooted and end up in my head and anxious. They are really fast paced, and I feel like they might take my withdrawn behavior when i'm around them as being snotty and not wanting them around, although it's just my fear. This makes them hint at me being a dick and it makes my fear stronger. It's really hard to stay centered around them because they don't mind verbally and symbolically tipping their meaning towards me being an ass, which isn't what I want to transmit at all.

 

and I fear starting conversations with beautiful women. although i'm starting to act from my heart in these situations which helps.

 

and my subconscious is really homophobic too. I got to the root of this the other day for the first time in a long while. and my mind instantly spoke," I have no reason to hate them". This really resonated with what I felt was the source, although hate was not the source, it was the fear of my ego losing it's identity as straight. I had some experience a long time ago that my mind attached anger and loss to the homosexual community. So I know my fear and understand it, but realization doesn't let the fears go away.

 

at this point in time I just feel the fear. I feel the fear's life. I don't combat it. I will look it in the eye when i'm out in the world. I may take up samadhi in my free time.

[Unconditioned]

thanks everyone.

 

I fear social encounters with people that I used to drugs with.

Like, whenever my brother and his girl are around, i get uprooted and end up in my head and anxious. They are really fast paced, and I feel like they might take my withdrawn behavior when i'm around them as being snotty and not wanting them around, although it's just my fear. This makes them hint at me being a dick and it makes my fear stronger. It's really hard to stay centered around them because they don't mind verbally and symbolically tipping their meaning towards me being an ass, which isn't what I want to transmit at all.

 

and I fear starting conversations with beautiful women. although i'm starting to act from my heart in these situations which helps.

 

and my subconscious is really homophobic too. I got to the root of this the other day for the first time in a long while. and my mind instantly spoke," I have no reason to hate them". This really resonated with what I felt was the source, although hate was not the source, it was the fear of my ego losing it's identity as straight. I had some experience a long time ago that my mind attached anger and loss to the homosexual community. So I know my fear and understand it, but realization doesn't let the fears go away.

 

at this point in time I just feel the fear. I feel the fear's life. I don't combat it. I will look it in the eye when i'm out in the world. I may take up samadhi in my free time.

 

I'll try to keep this brief but fear is a tool for survival. Like other emotions, it serves it's purpose for proliferation. If we never have fear, we would not fight/flee in dangerous situations. That said, the type of fear you are describing is a bit different, it's something that you can free yourself from.

 

I have also struggled with fear for most of my life, you are definitely not alone! It's a mind game. Your mind tells you "they think this or that about me" or "what if they think this or that?". We think that we KNOW what they are thinking but... who is doing the thinking? You are! So, the good news is your own mind is the cause of your fear which means that you can handle it, deal with it, etc.

 

In my personal experience, very recently actually, I've used two ideas to help conquer fear. The first is that I've consciously stopped trying to 'guess' what people are thinking - even if their body language seems obvious. When I feel the old habits come up, I think "wait - I do not know what they are thinking, why bother about it? They can think what they want but that should only affect them".

 

The second idea I use is to see them with love/compassion and equinimity. For example, when you see a beautiful woman thoughts may come up where you put yourself down in comparison. But, the truth is that you are equal at your core. You are both alive, manifested in different ways. If you see her as another person, another being, another life at her core then there is much more to her than appearance.

 

I'm sure there are many other ways to work on fear but these are just a couple that I have used and have been working for me. When we approach people without fear, judgement, wondering what they're thinking, etc. we can be free from it. When we're free from that fear we shine and people are drawn to us without much effort.

 

Best of luck, you have nothing to be afraid of... they're just thoughts, don't judge yourself so harshly! You can absolutely free yourself from this!

 

-Nate

[三江源]

Focus on your heart energy. Focus on love.

Feel softness in your heart.

 

Fear is an uncontrolled rise of kidney energy.

 

Sink!

 

Sink your energy, keep the kidney shen in its rightful place.

 

If adrenals are involved, smile into your adrenals. Send soft heart energy to adrenals to tell them.. "everything is auspicious."

 

Be kind to yourself.

 

Herd your shen home safely like a kind sheepdog..

[mantis]

thanks everyone.

 

I fear social encounters with people that I used to drugs with.

Like, whenever my brother and his girl are around, i get uprooted and end up in my head and anxious. They are really fast paced, and I feel like they might take my withdrawn behavior when i'm around them as being snotty and not wanting them around, although it's just my fear. This makes them hint at me being a dick and it makes my fear stronger. It's really hard to stay centered around them because they don't mind verbally and symbolically tipping their meaning towards me being an ass, which isn't what I want to transmit at all.

 

and I fear starting conversations with beautiful women. although i'm starting to act from my heart in these situations which helps.

 

and my subconscious is really homophobic too. I got to the root of this the other day for the first time in a long while. and my mind instantly spoke," I have no reason to hate them". This really resonated with what I felt was the source, although hate was not the source, it was the fear of my ego losing it's identity as straight. I had some experience a long time ago that my mind attached anger and loss to the homosexual community. So I know my fear and understand it, but realization doesn't let the fears go away.

 

at this point in time I just feel the fear. I feel the fear's life. I don't combat it. I will look it in the eye when i'm out in the world. I may take up samadhi in my free time.

 

we're the same age, being nervous around women is normal. something i do is imagine them taking a dump, which for some reason usually eases me out a little

[Unconditioned]

we're the same age, being nervous around women is normal. something i do is imagine them taking a dump, which for some reason usually eases me out a little

 

Out of curiosity, what age (ranges work for me ).

 

27 going on ... well something older than that... everyone thinks i'm 35 these days!

[Apech]

thanks everyone.

 

I fear social encounters with people that I used to drugs with.

Like, whenever my brother and his girl are around, i get uprooted and end up in my head and anxious. They are really fast paced, and I feel like they might take my withdrawn behavior when i'm around them as being snotty and not wanting them around, although it's just my fear. This makes them hint at me being a dick and it makes my fear stronger. It's really hard to stay centered around them because they don't mind verbally and symbolically tipping their meaning towards me being an ass, which isn't what I want to transmit at all.

 

and I fear starting conversations with beautiful women. although i'm starting to act from my heart in these situations which helps.

 

and my subconscious is really homophobic too. I got to the root of this the other day for the first time in a long while. and my mind instantly spoke," I have no reason to hate them". This really resonated with what I felt was the source, although hate was not the source, it was the fear of my ego losing it's identity as straight. I had some experience a long time ago that my mind attached anger and loss to the homosexual community. So I know my fear and understand it, but realization doesn't let the fears go away.

 

at this point in time I just feel the fear. I feel the fear's life. I don't combat it. I will look it in the eye when i'm out in the world. I may take up samadhi in my free time.

 

 

 

I would suggest, if you are interested to try Tonglen or 'sending and receiving' a Tibetan Buddhist meditation which is part of Lojong Mind Training. It is very simple and you can use people that you have a problem with (as well as those you love) as specific objects for your practice. Apart from anything else it is great for stabilizing the mind/heart and can be if properly applied transformational in your relationship with others. Its better to get instructions from a qualified teacher but an explanation is given here (which I found easily by Googling) - there are more compex versions. Its not a teaching for which you need an empowerment as far as I am aware.

 

http://tinyurl.com/6l2au8

 

If you read this link you will see that the Rinpoche concentrates on removing concern for yourself and I do not mean to imply that you have this. However for all of us, our fears arise from hanging on to ego perspective (as I know myself only too well .) The point as I understand it is to overcome negative associations which disturb your mind - some of which would be fear, but could be jealousy and so on as well.

Edited October 22, 2008 by apepch7

[ddilulo_06]

http://www.marinko-on-shyness.com/

[Sloppy Zhang]

For starting conversations with beautiful women... or with anybody in any social context:

 

we're the same age, being nervous around women is normal. something i do is imagine them taking a dump, which for some reason usually eases me out a little

 

 

Not how I think about it, but in a more general way: people are people and probably have some of the same feelings and thoughts and insecurities as you do. Just talk to them. The mind can create so many hurdles and straight up barriers that you THINK are there... but aren't really there. No one is holding you back except for you, so push that guy out of the way and go talk to someone

[Spectrum]

get an umbrella

[eighty4proof]

pickup a copy of the mystery method

[Pranaman]

I practiced tonglen for a little bit, that's a good idea too.

 

get an umbrella

 

one that sticks in the grass would be nice.

 

pickup a copy of the mystery method

 

no thanks.

 

thank you everyone for the advice.

[Spirit Ape]

Talking martial arts then figting people in comp or street to test your fears, if its about cultivation or emotions then stillness also horse stances!

[Spectrum]

Talking martial arts then figting people in comp or street to test your fears, if its about cultivation or emotions then stillness also horse stances!

 

A good way to get injured. Take care, you only have one of yourself. Face fear when it is in front of you, being illusionary in nature, seeking it out will cause trouble, because of the distorted perception you have of that fear. Waiting for the right moment to conquer it by degrees is safe and permanent.

Edited October 24, 2008 by Spectrum

[Vajrasattva]

what do you think is the most direct and the most effective method for dealing with the energy of fear?

 

 

get a friend that is a pilot take you in an airplane and then have him cut the engines.....

 

or Go skydiving.

[freesun]

get a friend that is a pilot take you in an airplane and then have him cut the engines.....

 

or Go skydiving.

 

What if you are not afraid of skydiving?

[Aetherous]

Then jump with a partner, where only they are wearing a chute.

[thelerner]

Working with holding the breath makes you face fear head on. Bodri has it 9 bottle breath. Max has a Phoenix meditation, I'm sure there are many variations out there where you hold your breath til you can't. Hyper Learning guru Michael Wenger recommends long distant underwater swimming to retrain and recharge the brain.

 

It can be dangerous and its always uncomfortable but you're facing death face on. Best to do it w/ good instruction or better yet supervision.

 

 

Michael