healing

[goldisheavy]

I want to say something about healing. The original meaning of the word "heal" is "to make whole again".

 

Reference: http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=heal

 

This is important to keep in mind.

 

Since I have suffered from numerous conditions and have healed them as well, I've been on both sides of the coin -- I have created diseases and have eliminated them, so I believe I am in a good position to say a few things about healing.

 

All disease starts as something subtle in the deep mind or the deep heart or deep being of a person. It starts as a contradiction or a split of some kind. This then can be attended by emotions such as either sadness and depression, or anger and fury. As the person dwells on the split, often not even realizing there is a split, the emotions mount and the feelings become more and more clear. Eventually the feelings can become so clear that they manifest as physical presentations. So for example, if I don't like what I see in the world, there is a split between me and the world. If I perceive that intent is unbroken, how can I not like what the world shows if that's just one intent? I can only dislike it if I believe my intent is not the same as the world's intent. That's a split. This then can be accompanies by anger. This anger can then be taken out on myself.

 

In my case I wanted to destroy my left eye. Eventually it manifested as the most severe condition that required a trip to ER a few times, and one time I had to get a shot of morphine derivative pain killer. This should give you an idea of how strong the pain was. BTW, the condition was called "recurrent corneal erosion". And guess what? The Western doctors are basically clueless about it and the things they told me were garbage. They said things like "you scratched your eye", but I haven't. When I said I haven't, they denied what I said, and reasserted their point of view again, "No you probably have when you were a kid and forgot." See how that works? They are brainwashed and they really don't care about your experience. They were taught a certain way about conditions and if what you say doesn't match what they were taught, they will ignore what you say. The same is often true of ANY doctors, including the Eastern ones, who are taught OTHER dogma, but it is still dogma nonetheless.

 

One time I "accidentally" flapped a towel corner straight into my sick eye. Another time my dog stepped, with his entire weight, his paw sinking into my skull, right on my sick eye. These are NOT coincidence! The mind is that powerful. When I introverted my anger and turned it into a wish for self-destruction, it not only manifested a disease, but external "physical" conditions also started to happen in accordance with my intent.

 

I couldn't feel the wish for self-destruction right away, but I felt it very quickly anyway. I meditated on my condition 24/7, using mindfulness and I contemplated and analyzed what was happening to me, I was attentive too, not just thinking. Very soon I saw how I wanted to destroy a part of myself, since I didn't want to destroy others, and I wanted to destroy something, since I wasn't happy with what there was.

 

Now then, how to heal.

 

First, when the condition is very severe, there is an emergency, and I have no problem whatsoever with using medications and almost any kind of intervention for emergency. That's why I was happy to visit the ER. However, medium and long term, I can't count on Western medicine, because for my condition they basically said "there is no cure", which is bullshit.

 

So, in an emergency, use whatever you can to blunt the force of the disease.

 

Second, after the emergency is over, there is agony. Now is a good time to NOT be in a hurry to heal, but rather to take this rare opportunity to contemplate one's own identity and the range of one's own perceptions. That's exactly what I did and I am glad I did. I recommend the same.

 

Now when I have received a full measure of blessings from that condition I thought it was time to put an end to it.

 

The attitude is to be kind and soft to oneself on one hand, but on the other hand, not to be desperate for a cure. One has to embrace the possibility of living with infinite pain forever and NOT be scared of it. One should transcend the plane of suffering and the plane of limited identities. At the same time, why wish harm? Therefore, even if you embrace harm, there is no need to actively intend harm, so intend kindness. Kindness is softness. Softness and kindness and love is felt in the body and in the eye. There is relaxation. Aggression and anger go away.

 

So in medium term it helps to really control the mind.

 

But there is a trick!

 

When the eye is 90% healed, if you still try to care for it mentally, you can simply perpetuate the disease.

 

So! When 90% healed or when 95% healed, now it is time to FORGET! FORGET FORGET FORGET that you ever had a problem! Let go of it. Don't try to heal it anymore. What is the meaning of this? It's like if you get a cast on your arm to let the bone heal, but if you don't take it off, you can eventually kill your arm with the cure! So the cure has to be abandoned at the right time.

 

So for me that meant to stop using the ointment at night. These small steps can take some courage, because of how much pain I have experienced upon waking up, at one point, I was afraid to sleep, and this was WITH the ointment in the eye and sometimes other medicine and so on. Now imagine sleeping with nothing? Wow! Like walking without a crutch again. A little scary, eh? No problem. I sleep without the ointment. The eye did get a bit raw in the morning, but I embrace the sensation with calmness, kindness, softness and non-attachment (that is to say, no pity for myself). Because I was using kindness, I would sometimes put the ointment back on and then stop using it again. Eventually I simply stopped using it. During those times I had to experience what seemed like periods of regressions, but I knew in my heart I was healing 100%. It's very important, because it's very easy to interpret a little worsening as a failure and one must NOT fall for that trap. There are no failures in healing. Everything makes sense and has a purpose.

 

So now I am pretty much back to normal. If anyone has any health conditions, I hope this helps you.

 

EDIT: forgot to mention, I have also used my own urine to heal the eye. My usage of urine is symbolic. It means I piss on my eye, so there is no attachment to the eye, but at the same time, there is kindness! So when I put the urine in my eye, I felt the healing energies of it. Regardless, simply feeling this way makes it heal, and urine is perfectly clean and the sting of it is tolerable and healing in its own right.

 

There you go! Now you have all my secrets.

Edited December 2, 2008 by goldisheavy

[picnic]

Interesting story.

 

...but I knew in my heart I was healing 100%. It's very important...

 

Many go to the doctor to hear they are ok. Once the doctor gives the ok then the mind is pacified and healing can begin. Placebos too are very effective, leading us to see that the placebo need only just be correct seeing and not a physical tablet.

 

Not only can we cure with the mind but keep illness away. Yet, while true, the western 'wham bam' cures are good if it is too late, but the mind must be won over if the cure is to take in either treatment style.

 

The body is a cell in the life stream of nature.

[goldisheavy]

Interesting story.

 

Many go to the doctor to hear they are ok. Once the doctor gives the ok then the mind is pacified and healing can begin. Placebos too are very effective, leading us to see that the placebo need only just be correct seeing and not a physical tablet.

 

Not only can we cure with the mind but keep illness away. Yet, while true, the western 'wham bam' cures are good if it is too late, but the mind must be won over if the cure is to take in either treatment style.

 

The body is a cell in the life stream of nature.

 

Well said picnic. I would also add that what we call "placebo" is the real healing. And the symptom being medicated away is temporary condition, a non-healing. What we call placebo is a natural restoration. It's precisely that one thing that is genuine. It's the pill that is fake. The reason we get it all backward is due to physicalism that we hold to. Under a physicalist doctrine we only ascribe power to matter and to energy, but not to mind. That's why so many people are obsessed with manipulating energies, because they just can't believe the mind can directly affect appearances without the intermediary of "energy" (chi). But it can. The mind directly affects everything without any intermediaries. What it does transcends the idea of energy because the transformation are not limited in any way -- they are not limited by conservation of energy principles, for example. But to experience this in an authentic manner while still holding to our physicalist mindset would feel like insanity. That's why the mind has to be gradually softened up to accept more modes of experience so as to not shock it.

 

All this is very important for healing the way I describe.

 

Someone who believes the mind has no power is using the mind's power to cancel itself, and if they follow my suggestions while in the heart believing only the physical is real, then that person is being false, pretentious, and what they do won't work, because the intent is not a genuine one.

 

So the spiritual path itself, is a long term healing.

 

I should also add that I've used the following techniques to help heal:

 

I have visualized an eagle eye dissolve into my eye and feeling it in my bones that my eye and vision are flawless.

 

I have visualized kindness pouring into my eye. By "visualized" I mean using ALL senses and not just vision. The key is to not pretend to see something, but to open oneself to actually feel it for real. In the middle of a painful condition you can feel the core of healthy feeling if you open yourself to feeling health! You have to allow yourself to feel health in what superficially seems unhealthy.

 

And finally, using all that attention on my eye resulted in a certain kind of lopsidedness. I felt my subtle energy was warped. More of "me" was in my left side of the head. This was a side-effect of increased attention to the left eye. This why it was so critically important to forget all about the disease and to forget all about the healing when the healing was almost complete. I had to dissolve away the after-effects of healing and finally completely forget it. Now when I say forget it, I mean I can still recall the event, but there is no anguish in it, and I am not obsessed with recalling it. I can recall it, and I will recall it gladly for the benefit of others, but I don't have to recall it for myself. I am over it.

 

So maybe a better way to say is to purify the memory and to brighten the memory of the disease to make it into a blessing, and then to allow it to move freely through the mind, which is to say, when you want to pay attention to something else, you can... you can move on. You now don't have to be preoccupied with the memory of past pain. The forgetting is a key part of healing.

 

Healing is about remember and forgetting, both.

Edited December 3, 2008 by goldisheavy

[picnic]

yes making heath a habit. Being so constantly aware of the mind being in good health that it doesn't wander off and pick up a cold when you are not looking.

 

I was reminded of someone I met who corrected (or at least improved) their eyesight by sitting once a day staring into the distance through slitted plastic glasses, then going to rest for a while. In fact what was more important to the process it seems was that she would have in mind that her short sightedness would regress by this routine. I felt sure that the plastic slitted glasses were the irrelevant placebo and the intent and practise were the fix, she could have been without the glasses and the eye yoga of looking, then resting, with the mind knowing progress, would have been just as effective. Even the looking and resting were perhaps just placebo to give the mind some kind of crutch as the mind after all is the power. But we are trained to doubt that and to look for physical answers. But physical is an illusion of the mind so what a twist they indoctrinate to us! Physical is less real than mind and we are to put faith in that

[goldisheavy]

I was reminded of someone I met who corrected (or at least improved) their eyesight by sitting once a day staring into the distance through slitted plastic glasses, then going to rest for a while. In fact what was more important to the process it seems was that she would have in mind that her short sightedness would regress by this routine. I felt sure that the plastic slitted glasses were the irrelevant placebo and the intent and practise were the fix, she could have been without the glasses and the eye yoga of looking, then resting, with the mind knowing progress, would have been just as effective. Even the looking and resting were perhaps just placebo to give the mind some kind of crutch as the mind after all is the power. But we are trained to doubt that and to look for physical answers. But physical is an illusion of the mind so what a twist they indoctrinate to us! Physical is less real than mind and we are to put faith in that

 

He he heee!! You wily wabbit!! You know it! That's it. I had a similar experience with improving my vision. Let me tell you what happened, you might find it interesting.

 

So I would relax my eyes and gaze around just enjoying my vision as is, without eye glasses. I would look at the trees, and my favorite, the shadows, especially when the wind moves the trees. My vision was getting clearer! Then one day I was waiting for my bowl of noodle in a little restaurant, and as I was waiting, I took off my glasses and just looked around. Suddenly I could see the floor so clearly. I could see the wood fibers! And this freaked the hell OUT OF ME. This couldn't be me. It couldn't be real. It was not possible. I quickly put my glasses on and forget all about healing my eyes for a long time.

 

So you see what happened there?

[goldisheavy]

One more note. I think this should be clear from what picnic said, but in case it's not clear...

 

My visualization are not what healed me. It was the singleness and the purity of my intent that healed me. Visualization is an ornamental aid. Ornaments beautify life. They are fun. But if anyone mistakes the ornaments for that which is essential, they fall into a trap. That's the proper way to use visualization. If you forget visualization is an ornamental aid, and you take it as substantial and real, you fall into a trap, because you mistake that which has potency, which is intent, with that which is a helpless servant, which is an appearance, i.e. visualization.

[coyote]

Great insight, GoldisHeavy.

This rings true for my life. I will pursue this. I would like to hear from anyone about processes for changing intent to change life.

Coyote