I am Cameron and I am a Taoaholic..

[Cameron]

I come to this site looking to share with others my weird interest in things like "alchemy" and "sexual yoga". Not too many people know about this stuff but I am convinced it is some of the coolest shit out!

 

I was born in NYC in 1975. My parents were both immagrants to the US and I am the first person in my family born here. I grew up in the suburbs of NYC(Westchester) until I was a teenager when my family moved to Atlanta Ga.

 

Around the age of 15 or 16 I became a fan of the action movie star Steven Seagal. I wans't a huge fan but dug his early action movies as a testosterone filled youth I thought it was cool the way he effortlessly beat the crap out of bad guys. I then stumbled onto a newspaper article that interviewed him while hanging at one of my families rug stores one day.

 

In the interview, Seagal talked about how Aikido was really a search for God. He went to Japan as a teenager to study with the Aikido masters and to find enlightenment. He said along with Aikido, he became a practitoner of something called " Zen" along with something called " mysticism" . He said Aikido, Zen and Mysticism were the main things he studied.

 

Since I though he was so cool at the time and wanted to learn how to effortlessly beat the crap out of bad guys and be a spirutal bad ass I eventually seekend out teachers in these three areas. First, I got into Aikido. I spent 3 solid year with Aikido and learned some neat things. I even got to practice with Seagal's top students at seminars and liked it alot. As for Zen, I seeked out several teachers in my early twenties. The most noteable was my experience at Zen Mountain Monastery in upstate NY. I spent a weekend meditating there when I was around 21 that was very powerful for me. I think Zen is a powerful practice that I have continued on and off in my life but havent gone all the way with yet. by all the way I mean I havent mada a committment to any teacher or school which is I think what you do when you feel strongly that is the right path or right teacher for you to follow.

 

Part of that lack of committment I think has to do with the 3rd area of mysticism that I really started to explore a little on my own with Aikido and the concept of 'Ki". The concept of Ki or universal life energy is dealt with in a very unconcious and vague way in Aikido. They mostly don't know what it is and say you will get it with alot of practice .Luckily, when I got into zen I got alot better answers . First, up at Zen Mountain Monastery when I was in my early 20's I heard about a retreat with some taoist guy named Ken Cohen. He was teaching something called "Qigong" and the retreat explanation said it was " An excellent compliment to Zazen". I didn't get to do the retreat with Cohen but did buy his audio course. I started doing qigong excercises on my own for a few months. Then, around the age of 22, I did a web search for " qigong" on the internet and one of the things that came up was the Healing Tao discussion board. Here is what I was looking for! An online discussion of like minded individuals talking about Qigong!

 

Unfortunatly, I soon found out, these people were talking about very interesting things but often came across in a very disrespectful way. I connected with Eric Yudelove through emails and asked him lots of questions. At first it had seemed like I found a good teacher. Then a few months in things got really weird. He started talking about being " A walking dead man" and sending a dragon named Yoshio to fuck you when you sleep. he then started to get into alot of talk about sorcery and magic. Now, I was interested in Mysticism whxih has elements of shamanism I think but I was never interested in sorcery or Magic. Eric and the healing Tao discussion eneded up providing few answers but I did get to talk with some interesting people.

 

Around the age of 24 I went to 3 Michael Winn workshops in Asheville, NC. Michael had not really been involved in the discussion board in those days except for an occasional post about a practice called " Kan and Li". this practice, which was supposed to merge the Yin and Yang aspects of one's consciousness and resolve the sexual and spirtual or body/mind split, sounded pretty damn interesting to me....

 

 

To be continued..

[sean]

That is awesome that Steven Seagal originally drew you to all of this. It's funny, I just heard this story yesterday about Steven Seagal. I'm going to totally mess this story up too because I was only half listening, but I guess he is some sort of deputy or something somewhere near New Orleans, and he was just standing in a group of other rescue workers, etc. while some higher official was making an announcement and directing their efforts, and the official kept looking at Steven Seagal while he was talking and finally he interupts his announcement and is like, (calmly to Steve) "Steven Seagal? What are you doing here?", and Steven, calmly back, "Uhh.. I'm a deputy.". Something like that. I told you I'd mess it up.

 

Sean.

[Cameron]

Seagal is definetly one of the giant characters around. He is actually a recognized Tulka, or reincarneted Tibetan Buddhist Master, by some high Tibetan Rinpoche. You could probably do a web search on it . In any case, alot of people into martial arts diss him but the reality is if not for that interview or him being such a loud proponent of Buddhism and Zen and Aikido I may have never even checked any of this stuff out. Of course it hard to say something like that who knows. everyone has there little story like that. Michael Winn picked up a book about Kundalini Yoga in a bookstore one day, Ken Cohen accidently picked up a book on Chinese language one day.

 

I just accidently read a local papers interview with Seagal and he said Zen and Mysticism were the main thigns he studied. I figured if they would help me become a badass what the hell

[Cameron]

To continue where I left off...

 

I did 3 Winn workshops in Asheveille. In the first workshop which covered qigong fundamentals I learned some neat practices but the main thing I remember is hearing about a practice Winn wasn't teaching that weekend . I was having dinner with Winn and two ladies at a restaurant in Asheville and Winn all of a sudden mentioned a practice called " Primordial qigong" and that he would begin teaching this practice soon. What struck me was not so much what he said but how he said it. Whatever it was, this primordial qigong thing seemed like Winn though it was pretty heavy duty and worth learning.

 

The next two workshops were Fusion 123. The beginning stages of taoist alchemy . I got to learn about how the body or personaility is not made up of one soul but many. These shen are like a soul team that manages your life collectively. This looking at your self and spiritual practice as a teamwork and getting these different aspects of your consciousness together through the practices sounded very cool. it also made alot of sense from seeing how people often behave differently in different situations or have different aspects of there personality come out.

 

After I returned from the last Fusion class Eric Yudelove had released his long awaited book " Taoist Yoga and Sexual Enegy". This book covered many of the practices I was learning about and then some. Fusion, Standing meditation, bone marrow breathing, along with a host of sexual alchemy formulas. In one of my last emails with Eric he said this book was his masterpiece and it would be very smart for me to do the program.

 

I think for whatever reason I was a little biased towards Eric for his online behavior but have since realaized I was maybe being immature . Here is a guy married for decades to woman he called the "Litle Fox' that had just died. He actually had dedicated his book to her. Obviously this kind of thing must have been hard and it was just bad timing he had to live this tragedy online and share his pain with others. Perhaps in retrosepct it was a blessing.

 

I still never completed Eric's program but am thinking of getting around to it one of these days.

 

For the last few years I have been basically returning to my roots. Zen and the original qigong stuff I learned from Ken Cohen book and tapes. I think Cohen is a solid teacher and got to meet him last year. He doesn't teach any of the exotic sexual alchemy formulas the Eric and Winn teach but his stuff is based on practices that have had a lot of benifit in terms of improving peoples health, increasing qi etc.

 

I have also gotten into Ron Teeguarden's Dragonherbs and doing his 100 days program. I think Chinese tonic herbs and especially Teeguardens products are great. I am leaving out alot but that is basically how I got into this stuff, what has attracted me so far and where I am at.

[Simon V.]

I think for whatever reason I was a little biased towards Eric for his online behavior but have since realaized I was maybe being immature . Here is a guy married for decades to woman he called the "Litle Fox' that had just died. He actually had dedicated his book to her. Obviously this kind of thing must have been hard and it was just bad timing he had to live this tragedy online and share his pain with others. Perhaps in retrosepct it was a blessing.

 

For the last few years I have been basically returning to my roots. Zen and the original qigong stuff I learned from Ken Cohen book and tapes. I think Cohen is a solid teacher and got to meet him last year. He doesn't teach any of the exotic sexual alchemy formulas the Eric and Winn teach but his stuff is based on practices that have had a lot of benifit in terms of improving peoples health, increasing qi etc.

7107[/snapback]

 

Hi Cameron

 

Your comment on Eric was very kind and understanding.

I haven't practiced his methods myself and was also shocked back then by his behaviour. You can tell when Winn talks about him that Eric is his friend... Spiritual teachers are human beings with emotions, loved ones, who experience good times and bad times. As the gnostics knew so long ago, to be born into flesh is to risk its dangers, its fragility, as well as its pleasures and potentials.

 

Zen is the basis of my practice too, the foundation of my sanity/happiness really, what allows me to experiment without becoming too confused and diffused by information overload. Zen provides the crazy wisdom to take the bad with the good, to see it all as some mad, glorious work of art.

 

Simon

[Cameron]

I find all these people to be quite interesting in there own unique way.

[Trunk]

I find all these people to be quite interesting in there own unique way.

I think that you could make a poster out of that one.

[Cameron]

Wow..just felt drawn to reading this thread I wrote almost 2 years ago.

 

In many ways I am returning to where I began this year. I stated practing Aikido again and deeper into meditation. Mostly I follow the teaching of the Adveita/Zen teacher Adyashanti and still sticking with practices I learned from Ken Cohen.

 

Very happy with how things are progressing.

[gendao]

I connected with Eric Yudelove through emails and asked him lots of questions. At first it had seemed like I found a good teacher. Then a few months in things got really weird. He started talking about being " A walking dead man" and sending a dragon named Yoshio to fuck you when you sleep. he then started to get into alot of talk about sorcery and magic.

Wow...WTF?! Edited May 3, 2007 by vortex

[Cameron]

Oooooooooooooooold news...I probably shouldn't have even mentioned that but it was almost like a "shared karma" with the board at the time.

[Eric23]

Before really knowing the full Yudelove story, I bought his Taoist Yoga book. The forward is by Chia so you are basiclly getting that program through a westerner's language. I've been pretty happy with it, although after hearing all the stuff about Chia on this board there is some doubt now. My interest in the Tao kind of mirrors your experience. The sex aspect caught my attention, then I got around to reading the TTC....

[Cameron]

I think alot of stuff from those books are fun. I used to do the God and Goddess meditation. Obviously Chia,Winn,Yudelove all those guys didn't spend decades learning nothing. There is some cool stuff in that lineage.

 

We are deifnetly at a crossroads. Learning lots of cool new stuff. Most of all of us here are pretty clueless beginners finding our way. I think the smoke will probably clear a bit over the enxt few years and we will have a better understanding about all this Taoist stuff.

[Yoda]

Cam,

 

Most of all of us here are pretty clueless beginners finding our way.

 

More specifically, a lot of us here aren't beginners but to find a practice path that really holds one's attention and gets results is so rare that it keeps the vast majority at beginners level. I've been meditating for 20 years for instance... 20 years should have rewarded me with at least 10 hottie followers but it hasn't.

 

I think the smoke will probably clear a bit over the enxt few years and we will have a better understanding about all this Taoist stuff.

 

I think that is true. I think people are getting beyond just the gee whiz level of haphazardly playing with this stuff and wanting to drill down to the next level of actually getting somewhere with it. And I think the quality of teachings is dramatically improving in all the camps as a result of that... Taoist, Buddhist, Hindu, etc.

 

Yoda

[Cameron]

Right. To use like a martial arts analogy. There is a difference between someone that spends 20 years cross training in different arts but never spending time to get a black belt or master one of them.

 

But those years are not wasted time. Probably still can be alot of fun. I wasn't really putting you in the clueless beginner category either.

[Yoda]

and you can spend 20 years in just one MA, get the black belt, and still can't fight worth beans.

[Cameron]

Yes but that would be a clear sign that your system or teacher sucks

[Yoda]

I think that's the reason lots of us jump around... we can sense that we aren't getting as far as desired with the xyz path.

[DamonM]

I like to think of a balance between dedication to a practice (or spiritual system) and no expectations of results (faith) would be a big key to really moving along that path.

 

It's so easy it seems over time to lose perspective as to why you originally started these practices. I feel it about really staying in the moment and accepting what comes. And of course our purpose can change over time as to why or what we are trying to get out of these practices.

 

I am personally going to be heading out to NC for Michael Winn's classes in June. I really do like the detail of Winn's style I see him as a great innovator of these internal alchemy formulas. He has done a lot of traveling and studying from many different teachers and has really gathered all of this and has sort of made his own sub-system out of it. Understanding the creative process in these practices is very important, not being too rigid with a system but at the same time respecting the system and following it's course.

 

I am just getting back into it after 20 years of not practicing. I do feel a much deeper sense of connection with all of this now that I am a bit older.

 

I think all of these systems (Hindu, Buddhist and Taoist ) are good. But I really do like the whole earth/heaven balance concept in these Taoist systems. And the way that sexual cultivation is a nature part of this system. I know other systems incorporate these practices but they seem more complex and or obscure in the essence of what they are teaching. Perhaps they too will evolve into more simple systems as time moves on.

[Cameron]

Well Now.

 

As it turned out..it didn't take a few years for the smoke to clear.

 

Only a few months.