What is the root of fear? And what are it's offspring?

[Unconditioned]

I've been thinking a lot lately about fear. My personality type general lends myself to yielding (yin) but I think to an unhealthy extreme. Allowing others to dominate, push things in their direction, etc. even if it's clearly not the 'best' thing for the situation.

 

I think the root of the issue is fear, fear of conflict specifically. But then I started to wonder, what is the root of fear? I've read a lot about the topic but still don't think I get it completely.

 

I've gotten as far as this:

Fear is related to expectation.

Expectation of discomfort IF a particular action is taken.

So, in the conditioned human fashion, we push away discomfort or try to avoid it.

 

But, do we just accept discomfort and allow others to dominate while we sit idle?

Do we take action against it? Isn't that just pushing fear away?

 

What do other people think about the root of fear? I think if fear is removed, a sense of freedom remains.. maybe... hmm.

[DaoChild]

Often times the root of fear is misunderstanding.

 

Fear many times leads to anger and outward aggression.

[Bruce]

Often times the root of fear is misunderstanding.

 

Fear many times leads to anger and outward aggression.

And what is the root cause of anger and aggression?

 

The corporate line from Buddhism is that the root of fear is self grasping. I happen to believe that because it makes sense to me. That begs the question, though: what is the root cause of fear for the safety of another? If it's someone you love, I would say its fear of loss, which is still self grasping. What if it's for someone you don't even know? Is the root then compassion?

[Unconditioned]

And what is the root cause of anger and aggression?

 

The corporate line from Buddhism is that the root of fear is self grasping. I happen to believe that because it makes sense to me. That begs the question, though: what is the root cause of fear for the safety of another? If it's someone you love, I would say its fear of loss, which is still self grasping. What if it's for someone you don't even know? Is the root then compassion?

 

I think if we have fear of ______ (safety, death, punishment, etc.) we're creating an object in our minds. For example, we fear the safety of a loved one because we have an idea about them, we love them for a bunch of reasons, experiences, memories, etc. ... basically because we have an image of that thing.

 

Lets assume we can see past the image of the thing, including the image of our self, and actually see it for what it is (whatever that is). Can there still be fear? Hmm...

[Bruce]

I think if we have fear of ______ (safety, death, punishment, etc.) we're creating an object in our minds. For example, we fear the safety of a loved one because we have an idea about them, we love them for a bunch of reasons, experiences, memories, etc. ... basically because we have an image of that thing.

 

Lets assume we can see past the image of the thing, including the image of our self, and actually see it for what it is (whatever that is). Can there still be fear? Hmm...

The sutras say that when the idea of self vanishes so does fear. Apparently so does pain from some of the stories, but who knows, it could be myth. If one has no sense of a seperate self, what is there to fear for oneself? There is no self to fear for.

 

If we have an image of something, isn't that just a mental formation by the Buddhist definition? Mental formations only exist because we believe there is a self. Then we cling to the images for fear of loss, etc. It's easy to prove this stuff using Buddhist logic, but frankly it doesn't help much in everyday life does it. If you're about to lose your job, telling yourself that you don't really exist apart form everything else isn't going to feed your family.

 

In practical terms, we're drawn toward pleasure and repulsed by pain, or anything that is viewed as painful. Fear of whatever is painful. If we are afraid of confrontations we're afraid of the pain of loosing. If we yield because we're afraid and still feel pain because we didn't stand up for ourselves then what have we accomplished? If on the other hand we yield because it's the smart thing to do, for whatever reason, we can bask in the pleasure of making a wise decision.

[goldisheavy]

I've gotten as far as this:

Fear is related to expectation.

Expectation of discomfort IF a particular action is taken.

So, in the conditioned human fashion, we push away discomfort or try to avoid it.

 

What you probably want is not a single answer in the form of "Fear is blah blah", but rather an intimate familiarity with all of the attendant issues, especially at the level of core beliefs. This familiarity involves asking yourself about fear, and then following up what you get in contemplation. For example, you get something about discomfort. Then follow it up: what is bad about discomfort? You can see more if you follow it up. You might come back to expectation, but your familiarity with just exactly what you are expecting may be deepened. What do you think you are expecting? It's not so obvious. Try to follow it up.

 

But, do we just accept discomfort and allow others to dominate while we sit idle?

Do we take action against it? Isn't that just pushing fear away?

 

It's like asking about smoking. Does the person quit smoking because they are too scared to die early, and are therefore a wuss who sacrifices quality of life for length? Or is the person very courageous, because they face their addiction and overcome the scary symptoms of withdrawal? You can see it either way. I don't think there is "the correct way" to see it. The society today is conventionally more prone to seeing quitting smoking as something positive. But it doesn't always have to be like that.

 

The same action can be seen as something good, bad or neutral. I think the important question is not what it is in some absolute sense, but what it is for you? Is your own feeling important? If you believe in objective reality, then you must also believe that subjectivity impairs the perception of objective reality, and is to be eliminated as much as possible. In that case, what you think and what you feel, being subjective, are not important at all. Is that honest though? Can this be sustained without hypocrisy? Alternatively what you think and feel does matter, but then objectivity is not important. What's important is for you to become very familiar with your own mind. In that sense, other people play a role in clarifying your mind, but they don't straight up tell you what is what, as if it was objective reality.

[mYTHmAKER]

Feeling separate is the root of fear

[Trunk]

Inability to hold ground.

[sheng zhen]

Feeling separate is the root of fear

Yes, separation. Whenever we separate ourselves from anything, t.ex. external/internal, life/death, my situation/your situation, etc., fear thrives.

 

Ego, all the way down to its most fundamental reality-structuring aspects, is built on fear. Our whole culture, economics, politics and healthcare is sustained by fear.

[Trunk]

Yes, separation. Whenever we separate ourselves from anything, t.ex. external/internal, life/death, my situation/your situation, etc., fear thrives.

Inability to hold space.

[freeform]

Ouch - my mind hurts from all this.

 

"fear is XXXX"

 

There are no answers in words... but there are gifts to be found if you search internally... (not think and philosophise, but explore the sensory experience of this 'fear')

 

 

Also - the first thing that comes to me is that your problem is not fear as such...

 

it's fear of anger!

 

(do you avoid getting angry? do you find it unfair when people use anger? do you find it very uncomfortable to be around people who easily get angry?)

 

That's my hint for you - look for anger not fear.

 

But you have to be very attentive - if what I say is in fact the case, then you'll find your anger there almost constantly - you've just learned to shut it out really well.

[Bruce]

The root of my fear was marriage and it's offspring is called Josh.

 

Sorry. Just trying to lighten this up. I must be more bored than I suspected.

[Wayfarer64]

I've lived pretty close to the edge much of my life, so there is little I fear in general terms - I guess the more responsibility we may have for others fosters more fear as our capasities are strained...

 

There is much to fear in the world -some of us are more capable for dealing with what worries us than others...Real fear is usually directed towards what is the most Unknown -what we are the most ignorant about, but nonetheless has a grasp on our lives -And this varies quite a bit from person to person...

 

Someone who cares a lot about a sports team may be more concerned for the fate of the team than who gets elected to the various seats of power that directly have a say in our lives...

 

So I guess there is a balance between how much we care about something and how much the unknown quality of our experience with that something affects our nervous system!

 

BTW - Reacting from fear is usually a poor stance to come from in any situation -no matter how fearful... it shows weakness...

[Unconditioned]

...

(do you avoid getting angry? do you find it unfair when people use anger? do you find it very uncomfortable to be around people who easily get angry?)

 

That's my hint for you - look for anger not fear.

 

But you have to be very attentive - if what I say is in fact the case, then you'll find your anger there almost constantly - you've just learned to shut it out really well.

 

Wow - I'm speechless. I feel like you've been spying on me, that's dead on. I'm hardly ever angry, I tend to find anger useless with a few minor exceptions where it's justified to protect, and I can't stand being around people that have a short fuse.

 

Hmm, I've held the belief for some time that fear is the root of anger but maybe there's some value to examining anger as well...

[freeform]

Wow - I'm speechless. I feel like you've been spying on me, that's dead on.

 

 

it's not rocket science - I read your words and feel how it all resonates with me... I can feel it easily because I have similar pattern - and I find it very very easy to see when people have this same pattern.

 

I suggest anger is far far far more important for you at the moment - you won't believe how much anger has been in control of your life (this is hard to hear, I know)... after anger you have sadness to look forward to

 

you will grow more by looking at anger than by pretty much any practice you do that has you avoid it. (& by the way - you'll find every excuse not to look into it! lol - just so you know)

[lino]

If you are looking for Buddhist definitions then you might want to look at aversion.

[三江源]

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Edited April 7, 2015 by 三江源

[dwai]

I've been thinking a lot lately about fear. My personality type general lends myself to yielding (yin) but I think to an unhealthy extreme. Allowing others to dominate, push things in their direction, etc. even if it's clearly not the 'best' thing for the situation.

 

I think the root of the issue is fear, fear of conflict specifically. But then I started to wonder, what is the root of fear? I've read a lot about the topic but still don't think I get it completely.

 

I've gotten as far as this:

Fear is related to expectation.

Expectation of discomfort IF a particular action is taken.

So, in the conditioned human fashion, we push away discomfort or try to avoid it.

 

But, do we just accept discomfort and allow others to dominate while we sit idle?

Do we take action against it? Isn't that just pushing fear away?

 

What do other people think about the root of fear? I think if fear is removed, a sense of freedom remains.. maybe... hmm.

 

Ego

[zanshin]

"Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering, suffering leads to the Dark Side." - Master Yoda

[Mak_Tin_Si]

Q: "what is the root of fear"

 

my A: "In chinese, we say if you are scared of things easily, you are haing a small gall bladder" as a saying. In Chinese Medic, the gall bladder is in control of the feeling of bravery.

 

In Taoism, we say your "souls" are what linked to bravery. If your souls "energy field" is strong, you do not fear easily.

[Unconditioned]

 

it's not rocket science - I read your words and feel how it all resonates with me... I can feel it easily because I have similar pattern - and I find it very very easy to see when people have this same pattern.

 

I suggest anger is far far far more important for you at the moment - you won't believe how much anger has been in control of your life (this is hard to hear, I know)... after anger you have sadness to look forward to

 

you will grow more by looking at anger than by pretty much any practice you do that has you avoid it. (& by the way - you'll find every excuse not to look into it! lol - just so you know)

 

This reminds me of when I was younger and I couldn't believe that I was a prideful person (case in point lol)... someone told me that not allowing another person to help you is pride... I always thought I was being 'noble' by doing things on my own... aka, an excuse not to look into it.

 

I think this is similar for me personally, I've just always assumed that I was an easy going person who never got angry or did very little. Obviously some long standing patterns with this one and some digging-in required... I even noticed that my initial reaction was "I don't have an anger problem at all"... another form of avoidance/aversion.

 

So, thank you and everyone else.. all of the replies have been helpful!

 

 

 

 

I do this too, Unconditioned. And for me personally I dont feel it comes from fear or a dislike of conflict. but it is a default setting when I am around people who are stubborn/willful/have a real agenda. I resign my post and allow them to have their way. I have done this so much that I am finally starting to catch onto myself and TAKE CONTROL for myself.

 

I'm not thrilled with the choice a) Yield and Put Up with Stuff you dont want a lot OR Take Control.

 

I thnk it is to do with being around incompatible personality types.

 

When I am with fluid people, all flows well, and this yield/assert polarity doesnt arise.

 

I dont know if this is even remotely helpful, but it is my thoughts...

 

Thanks cat =)

 

Its comforting to know that there are others that go through similar experiences. I also share your experience of when I am fluid with people everything is great and the yielding (aka shutting down) doesn't arise.