Struggling over vasectomy... need advice.

[Oolong Rabbit]

This is been a real stumbling block in my marriage. Neither my wife, nor I have any desire for more children. She is pushing me really hard to get this procedure done, but I have serious reservations. Primarily I believe that this could energetically upset/damage the body. Furthermore, my marriage hasn't exactly been the most stable planet in the galaxy. What should I do? Any advice would be helpful.

 

Thanks!

[Sloppy Zhang]

Um.... if you want to get it on... use protection? Or um, you know, learn some fancy taoist sexual cultivation techniques to preserve the jing?

 

Or, ya know, the pill, or, ya know, just not do it.

 

Or, ya know, tell her that it's your body and you won't do anything to it you don't feel comfortable with and that should be enough for her!

 

And here's your disclaimer saying I'm not responsible for anything that may happen to your or your relationship by saying any one (or more) of these things.....

[Aetherous]

If you're worried about the whole jing thing...I know of advanced people from different traditions which got it done and only had positive results afterward.

[xenolith]

Don't do it. FWIW, 16 years of boingin' mrs. x without contraceptives...not a period missed. She's fertile, I'm fertile. Search semen kung. Plan on 10 years to own it. What's 3650 days of practice, commitment and great health compared to gettin' sliced open? You were plannin' on livin' those days anyway weren't you? Do it un-sliced. B'sides, the progress exams are fun

 

I'll help if you want, but do must you...few have the balls to save their balls...

[mYTHmAKER]

Tell her you'll flip her for it - heads you get a vasectomy tails she gets her tubes tied

Edited March 2, 2009 by mYTHmAKER

[xenolith]

Tell her you'll flip her...

That is a viable option for reducing the likelihood of pregnancy

 

Another...more swallows equals less storks...

[Hawk Over Water]

This is been a real stumbling block in my marriage. Neither my wife, nor I have any desire for more children. She is pushing me really hard to get this procedure done, but I have serious reservations. Primarily I believe that this could energetically upset/damage the body. Furthermore, my marriage hasn't exactly been the most stable planet in the galaxy. What should I do? Any advice would be helpful.

 

Thanks!

 

I had mine about a year ago. I wish that I'd had it done much sooner. As far as I can tell, it has had no negatives as far practice goes. In fact I seem to have jing coming out of my ears - metaphorically speaking of course.

 

It is a minor procedure, about 15 mins., far less of an issue than it is with the equivalent for women. The only thing is that you mentioned that your marriage is not the most stable. So, depending on your age, you may want to have kids with someone else.

 

 

Way

[minkus]

In fact I seem to have jing coming out of my ears - metaphorically speaking of course.

 

When plenty of jing in the body and the lower centers get energetically powerd by for example intense qigong; jing does tend to come out of the ears litteraly hehe

 

I guess the vagus nerve has something to do with it, probably drew will know more

 

 

As for the topic, thinking about it for a year now everyday that i should get it done .. been searching around for a while now and thinking heavily and must say im not afraid of it producing energetic imbalances or problems with cultivation. In contrary i think it will improve as the operation will get me the same result as i do now with my practice. Reabsorbing true essence back in the body.

 

I dont have and really would never want to have a child in my whole life, i know this since im 5 years old and still have the same opinion as then ... only problem is im 28 and yeah the operation cant be undone. Well it can but not with 100% chance of total restore. What if i ever change my mind. I know you can freeze some but yeh, still difficult.

 

Not simple :-/ making a decision that can affect the rest of your life.

[Hawk Over Water]

When plenty of jing in the body and the lower centers get energetically powerd by for example intense qigong; jing does tend to come out of the ears litteraly hehe

 

I guess the vagus nerve has something to do with it, probably drew will know more

As for the topic, thinking about it for a year now everyday that i should get it done .. been searching around for a while now and thinking heavily and must say im not afraid of it producing energetic imbalances or problems with cultivation. In contrary i think it will improve as the operation will get me the same result as i do now with my practice. Reabsorbing true essence back in the body.

 

I dont have and really would never want to have a child in my whole life, i know this since im 5 years old and still have the same opinion as then ... only problem is im 28 and yeah the operation cant be undone. Well it can but not with 100% chance of total restore. What if i ever change my mind. I know you can freeze some but yeh, still difficult.

 

Not simple :-/ making a decision that can affect the rest of your life.

 

28 is a bit on the young side to have it done - IMO, but then I wish that I'd had it done when I was 28! Mind you they have better technique than they had back then - now just one tiny little cut. In fact I couldn't even tell where it was afterwards. The worst bit is the injection at the start and hair growing back after!

[baloneyx]

I would say that unless there is something wrong with the body, just let it be. But if your relationship is at stake over this then I guess you might have to make a sacrifice

[Spectrum]

Don't do it with the doubt. You'll rest better. Xeno has some charged words here.

Edited March 2, 2009 by Spectrum

[joeblast]

Good luck whichever way you decide, Gerry I've had similar reservations, only its not quite so much an issue for me...

[Ryan T.]

This is been a real stumbling block in my marriage. Neither my wife, nor I have any desire for more children. She is pushing me really hard to get this procedure done, but I have serious reservations. Primarily I believe that this could energetically upset/damage the body. Furthermore, my marriage hasn't exactly been the most stable planet in the galaxy. What should I do? Any advice would be helpful.

 

Thanks!

 

I would start by separating the issues. One being the potential vasectomy and the other being, probably the more important, stability of your marriage.

 

The easier one is the vasectomy. You should only do it if you are personally, outside of the context of your marriage, comfortable with everything that goes along with this procedure. It should be considered permanent in spite of the stories people may read about having it reconnected. Personally, I wouldn't worry about the energetic effects or damage to the body. Which brings be to the more important topic...

 

Your relationship is one of the things that can have the biggest impact on you energetically as well as physically. Before you make any decision regarding a vasectomy you probably should seek out some marriage counseling of some sort. Something like a vasectomy should not be "a real stumbling block" to a marriage. Nor should you be considering an operation at the urging or "pushing" of someone you are not completely secure with.

 

There are great reasons to have the procedure done. It makes it a lot easier on the woman for sure. But if you are not stable in your relationship with this woman then you should not even consider it. I would also say you have no business having sex with this person if it is your relationship is this unstable. That could be a decision that could affect for the rest of your life as well. A child with someone that you don't have a rock-solid relationship with...that would be way worse for your energetics and overall health!

[Hawk Over Water]

^^

 

What he said.

 

Also, just as a note, I think birth control should not be confused with semen retention.

[Smile]

Don't do it. You won't be able to cultivate your sexual energy the right way.

Follow Xeno's advice- he knows what he is talking about.

[Vajrasattva]

Dr. Morris had it done and he certainly didnt have issues with Chi or making Jing.

[Hawk Over Water]

Dr. Morris had it done and he certainly didnt have issues with Chi or making Jing.

 

 

If it's good enough for the Doc - it's good enough for me!

 

[Oolong Rabbit]

Okay thanks guys, some great advice here, but you guys are still about 50-50 pro/con. For the record I am 33, have 2 kids which I love greatly, but neither my wife nor I have any desire for more children. We have been together for about 15 years, and the relationship issues are really convoluted. Suffice it to say we are polar opposites, and that I believe she has some sort of imbalance wihich causes her to have wild mood swings. After years of being on the receiving end of this, it has really worn my spirit down and created a lot of pent up apathy and resentment in me. She is taking medication now which seems to be helping her a lot, and I am trying to let go of my emotional baggage. My main concerns are that some cultivators I respect greatly have cautioned against it, and also it seems unnatural and contrary to the tao to me instinctually. I can use meditation and energy circulation to suppress the sexual urges to a degree, but then that takes away one of the few bonding experiences we have. She does not want to be on birth control pills due to their adverse effects, and the condom thing is not working out so well. I have tried refraining from ejaculation, but when she climaxes it is like an energy vaccum that somehow forces me to. I explained my beliefs about the body's energtic structures etc... She understands my beliefs rationally, but feels like I am choosing that over our marriage. From her perspective, she sees it as a minor procedure for me to go through, versus a major invasive surgery, and I can understand her point here as well.

 

So that's it in a nutshell. Xeno, I will PM you. Perhaps you can offer some advice or tips on retention. I am not sure if the dispute can wait 10 years for me to master though. And what happens if you slip up? That's a big risk.

[Aetherous]

So does anyone know someone personally who had it done and had adverse effects?

 

Because even though someone might be a high level cultivator, they still might have beliefs not based in reality. If they didn't have the procedure done, then what exactly makes them think it's bad?

 

I tend to trust the ones here who said they had it done, or who knew people that had it done...any of those accounts were only positive.

[Oolong Rabbit]

I would start by separating the issues. One being the potential vasectomy and the other being, probably the more important, stability of your marriage.

 

The easier one is the vasectomy. You should only do it if you are personally, outside of the context of your marriage, comfortable with everything that goes along with this procedure. It should be considered permanent in spite of the stories people may read about having it reconnected. Personally, I wouldn't worry about the energetic effects or damage to the body. Which brings be to the more important topic...

 

Your relationship is one of the things that can have the biggest impact on you energetically as well as physically. Before you make any decision regarding a vasectomy you probably should seek out some marriage counseling of some sort. Something like a vasectomy should not be "a real stumbling block" to a marriage. Nor should you be considering an operation at the urging or "pushing" of someone you are not completely secure with.

 

There are great reasons to have the procedure done. It makes it a lot easier on the woman for sure. But if you are not stable in your relationship with this woman then you should not even consider it. I would also say you have no business having sex with this person if it is your relationship is this unstable. That could be a decision that could affect for the rest of your life as well. A child with someone that you don't have a rock-solid relationship with...that would be way worse for your energetics and overall health!

 

Some great points here. My main issue with it is not the pain, or the procedure itself, but that it is unnatural and messes with one of the body's main energy centers. You are right that for a long time the relationship issues sucked a lot out of me motionally and mentally. This will sound weird to some I know but it was almost like something within her was feeding off the emotional energy that was being stirred up. Eventually I just decided I would not give in to these outbursts anymore, and then we went from fighting, to nothing. It's easy to say do not have sex. We have gone months at a time without it, but it only drives the wedge deeper. I am not really comfortable with the counseling thing.

 

Brgds and thx for the advice!

[Oolong Rabbit]

Dr. Morris had it done and he certainly didnt have issues with Chi or making Jing.

 

Have you had it done Vajrasattva? If not, would you any qualms about it?

[三江源]

Hi Oolong. I dont know anything about the vasectomy. I just popped in to say that if your wife spends a bit of time getting to know her menstrual cycle and her change in fluid textures, she will have a very clear idea of exactly when she is fertile. This, at least, narrows your window of time that you have to avoid penetrative ejaculation. ( Or use a diaphragm. Or a condom.) For most women it is a ten day window. For others it is considerably shorter than that.

 

Might take the 24/7 pressure off, at least.

[xenolith]

Fertility awareness...great comment cat. Enrolled mrs. x and I in the class as gift to our Live's together many years ago. What was learned was instrumental in mrs. x's non-period missing experiences in the years while I was learning SKF.

 

Wasn't kidding oolong, I'll help you with SKF if you'd like.

[kevin]

the condom thing is not working out so well.

Hi, Oolong. It's a personal subject, to be sure, but... is there any way at all to improve the results you get with a condom? It would be, at a minimum, a short-term solution to the vasectomy issue. Part of a long-term solution could be SKF.

[MatthewQi]

Here is my 2 cents (in response to Yoda's post a few years ago on the subject). I still say the same 4 years now since I had the vasectomy except I notice no physical difference... Best, Matt

 

 

post Jul 28 2005, 08:54 PM

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QUOTE(Yoda @ Jul 27 2005, 06:35 PM)

I know nobody would be interested in actually getting a vasectomy, but I wonder if there are studies that link vasectomies with longevity. I'd think that the sperm retention would count for something.

 

-Yoda

*

 

 

 

Yoda,

 

I got a Vasectomy this past January. Sperm production is said to continue as normal. From an energy perspective ones body would not need to expend energy to replace sperm ejaculated.

 

Yes, in the 1800s the procedure was done to old men and was thought to extend their life. I don't have any studies to site, read it somewhere. I also took a look at the energy levels of the guys I knew who had vasectomies, cultivators and non cultivators and it appeared to me that the non-cultivators where very high energy healthy people who seemed to be able to have high tolerance to stress and where just compassionate men.

 

Back to the energy... your body does not need to use energy to replace sperm ejaculated with a vasectomy. Remember though that this does not mean one will not lose vital energy from the body that goes out going "all the way".

 

To me (I reiterate, for me), plain girls advice, some retention (3 finger w/ big draw) is most balanced.

 

Check out page 193, chapter 12 of Taoist Secrects of Love as it talks about vasectomy and healing love.

 

The only thing I notice is that my balls seem different, perhaps smaller and sorta firmer or something. Everything else is the same and I really think it is a good thing to do in the right situation, for example, versus a seperate operation for your female partner for birth control. I would definitely do it all over again.

 

Matt