Help.. exhaustion, stress, depression, burnout

[Easynow]

Hello,

 

I am a 22 year old male.

 

I write this in a state of complete confusion right now. I am seeking balance and clarity and relief from the stress I've been carrying.

 

I grew up with phimosis, a condition where the foreskin does not retract. My first experiences with girls were no-shows as I could physically feel nothing.

This damaged my confidence pretty bad. I came to see sex as a chore. I am still a virgin.

I also got involved with pornography.. downloading lots of fallacious ideas and imagery into my mind regarding sex.

 

Conflictingly, I was also involved with Buddhism, and misinterpreted it as a sexual 'repression'.

I also had a 'negative father figure', so came to identify negatively with masculine qualities, including within myself.

 

I became afraid of my own testosterone, so to speak. Always trying to make others happy, hiding my own perceived flaws, being unable to stand up for myself and act upon my own needs.

 

I became obsessed with enlightenment. I would meditate three hours a day when I was seventeen, touching on the Jhanas while others were out having fun.

 

I was however very emotionally weak.

 

I also got involved with drinking alcohol, smoking pot, and moved onto pills, magic mushrooms, research chemicals etc., I think this has damaged me in subtle and deep ways.

 

The things I tried were:

Buddhist breath concentration techniques.

More relaxed mindful awareness techniques.

Loving kindness meditations.

Yogic breathing exercises and mantras (from AYP and other sources)

Holosync brainwave meditations (take you into DEEP delta brainwaves, I think this dislodged me somewhat..)

Dynamic meditations

Guided chakra meditations,

autosuggestion, hypnosis (of an egotistical 'trait installing' nature), obsessive mind-based affirmation training,

meditating and contemplating whilst on marijuana, salvia, psilocybin, ayahuasca.

Sitting and praying to transcend energies such as anger, lust, neediness, by releasing all thought around such energy and praying for MORE, in order to sit with and eventually 'empty the cup' but really just bringing up huge, unmanageable emotional energetic excesses.

Pickup 'game' material, attempting to learn mental manipulation from a position of insecurity.

EFT and TAT.

Replacing thoughts, ignoring thoughts, relaxing around thoughts.

 

And deep under all this, my little inner child started to CRY, you know?

 

I've had an obsession with 'doing' to 'fix' myself.

 

The sexual issues accumulated early this year. I had been seeing a girl for a short time, and she was really keen to help me along and 'break me in'. However, I'd rise to the occasion only sometimes. She was really cool about it at first and thought along the lines that I was just getting used to her. However after a while and a couple more failures she started to take it hard, and eventually admitted she 'couldn't be bothered' with it anymore, despite really liking me. We broke up soon afterwards and that has triggered major inadequacy, resentment, frustration, etc.,

 

The infinite silence seems to try and pull me up and away from it all, but there is like this psychic level of pain and resistance and fear.

 

I feel anxiety often in the throat, in the solar plexus, and deep in my gut. Thinking of sex brings up a very panicky feeling in the solar plexus. Thinking of relationships brings up a sick tension in the belly.

 

A physiotherapist friend has told me that my muscles are 'hi tone' - they never relax, even at rest.

 

The inner critic is constantly active as of late. It leads to waves of despair, anger, frustration, depression. The mind is constantly 'worried'.

 

In the last month I drank ayahuasca (vine only, no 'light-bearing'/DMT containing plant) and have gone through some real catharsis, yelling, screaming.. some real painful soul searching.

 

However it feels now that ever unconscious issue and resistance is now slightly more conscious, sitting there in the ack of my brain, distorting every perception I have. I have not had positive thoughts in a while, my emotions are shot.

 

Cut off from my own life force, my own sexuality, my own spirit, feelings I have to be a thousand different things. This nervous system is in burnout from all these aggressive practices...

 

SO.

 

Somebody from another forum recommended the follow to me:

 

Working directly on the Hara with energetic methods from the taoist tradition seems like a good idea also. ASk at thetaobums.com for help in finding the methods for you. Some sort of breathing method and a few qigong excersises should do this well. thetaobums is also a good place to ask for help regrding the sexual issues. The taoist tradition has a lot of excersises for healing that are and sexual issues in general. Genital and testicle massage (done in a loving way) and gentel methods for awakening the sexual energy centers and gentials. Do good research before choosing methods. Be conserned with safety. Don`t go for forcefull or powerfull methods. Don`T overdo, Focus on self acceptance and self loving.

 

It might also be better for you to practice the microcosmic orbit for a while and either choose that route permanently or to use it for a while and later come beck to spinal breathing. The reason is that the front channel is important to work with for these issues and the orbit can do a lot of good here. Six healing sounds and the inner smile are also very good for dealing with all sorts of psychological issues while being energeticly beneficial. Beyond that fusion of the five elements is profoundly balancing for the emotions and will give a lot of self confidence while clearing out and resolving issues from the past(learn it from Andy Fretwel not from Mantak). A CAREFULL and MODERATE practice of iron shirt chi kung and dan tien chi kung will also build an huge amount of confidence and feeling of power and root that will adress your issues very well but these are practices that are best done on a foundation of the other ones mentioned

 

I warn you to be extreemly carefull if you deside to aproach any of the taoist seual practices. There are huge holes in Mantaks teachings with regards to this. Thetaobums has a lot of knowledge about this. check out alchemicaltaoism.com for advice on how to aproach this and use doctor Lins not mantaks methods. Please email me if you deceide to do these things and I can communicate to you a lot of the safety protocols developed over trial and error by the webcommunity with these practices so that it can be done safely. Clearing up emotional issues first is an extreemly important part of all this.

 

In conjunction with pilates practice so that my body and energy center is rooted in the Hara.

 

Basically I am seekng advice on how I might start anew.

 

I am seeking therapy etc., already.

 

I am just after practice advice to that might help to ground and balance this burnout, free up this abdominal tightness and sexual frustration, calm the mind, release all the negative material I've bought up..

 

I would like to feel at ease again..

 

Any help??

 

 

Easynow..

[growant]

My recommendations (note: i am not a doctor or professional therapist, just someone whose been on the path more than twice as long as you)- here are some of the best tools I've found

 

 

1 to stabilize and build energy- zhan zhuang- learn from a good teacher or read the Way of Energy or the Way of Power by Lam Kam Chuen

 

2 For becoming a friend to your emotions/giving yourself therapy- read Focussing by Gene Gendlin and/or The Power of Focussing by Ann Weiser Cornell

 

3 For developing the proper Philosphy/attitude about life - read Ask and It is Given and then the Astonishing Power of Emotions, both by Esther Hicks.

 

I also like Stillness Speaks by Eckhart Tolle.

 

 

Of the VOLUMINOUS quantity of self help and spiritual books I have read, these are the best.

Also good to get into the gym and have a regular weightlifting/exercise program (if you don't know how,reading Power to the People by pavel tsatsouline is as good a place as any to start)

 

I recommend staying away from the drugs- once you go through a doorway, no need to keep going through it repetitively.

 

 

luck-

 

 

 

Hello,

 

I am a 22 year old male.

 

I write this in a state of complete confusion right now. I am seeking balance and clarity and relief from the stress I've been carrying.

 

I grew up with phimosis, a condition where the foreskin does not retract. My first experiences with girls were no-shows as I could physically feel nothing.

This damaged my confidence pretty bad. I came to see sex as a chore. I am still a virgin.

I also got involved with pornography.. downloading lots of fallacious ideas and imagery into my mind regarding sex.

 

Conflictingly, I was also involved with Buddhism, and misinterpreted it as a sexual 'repression'.

I also had a 'negative father figure', so came to identify negatively with masculine qualities, including within myself.

 

I became afraid of my own testosterone, so to speak. Always trying to make others happy, hiding my own perceived flaws, being unable to stand up for myself and act upon my own needs.

 

I became obsessed with enlightenment. I would meditate three hours a day when I was seventeen, touching on the Jhanas while others were out having fun.

 

I was however very emotionally weak.

 

I also got involved with drinking alcohol, smoking pot, and moved onto pills, magic mushrooms, research chemicals etc., I think this has damaged me in subtle and deep ways.

 

The things I tried were:

Buddhist breath concentration techniques.

More relaxed mindful awareness techniques.

Loving kindness meditations.

Yogic breathing exercises and mantras (from AYP and other sources)

Holosync brainwave meditations (take you into DEEP delta brainwaves, I think this dislodged me somewhat..)

Dynamic meditations

Guided chakra meditations,

autosuggestion, hypnosis (of an egotistical 'trait installing' nature), obsessive mind-based affirmation training,

meditating and contemplating whilst on marijuana, salvia, psilocybin, ayahuasca.

Sitting and praying to transcend energies such as anger, lust, neediness, by releasing all thought around such energy and praying for MORE, in order to sit with and eventually 'empty the cup' but really just bringing up huge, unmanageable emotional energetic excesses.

Pickup 'game' material, attempting to learn mental manipulation from a position of insecurity.

EFT and TAT.

Replacing thoughts, ignoring thoughts, relaxing around thoughts.

 

And deep under all this, my little inner child started to CRY, you know?

 

I've had an obsession with 'doing' to 'fix' myself.

 

The sexual issues accumulated early this year. I had been seeing a girl for a short time, and she was really keen to help me along and 'break me in'. However, I'd rise to the occasion only sometimes. She was really cool about it at first and thought along the lines that I was just getting used to her. However after a while and a couple more failures she started to take it hard, and eventually admitted she 'couldn't be bothered' with it anymore, despite really liking me. We broke up soon afterwards and that has triggered major inadequacy, resentment, frustration, etc.,

 

The infinite silence seems to try and pull me up and away from it all, but there is like this psychic level of pain and resistance and fear.

 

I feel anxiety often in the throat, in the solar plexus, and deep in my gut. Thinking of sex brings up a very panicky feeling in the solar plexus. Thinking of relationships brings up a sick tension in the belly.

 

A physiotherapist friend has told me that my muscles are 'hi tone' - they never relax, even at rest.

 

The inner critic is constantly active as of late. It leads to waves of despair, anger, frustration, depression. The mind is constantly 'worried'.

 

In the last month I drank ayahuasca (vine only, no 'light-bearing'/DMT containing plant) and have gone through some real catharsis, yelling, screaming.. some real painful soul searching.

 

However it feels now that ever unconscious issue and resistance is now slightly more conscious, sitting there in the ack of my brain, distorting every perception I have. I have not had positive thoughts in a while, my emotions are shot.

 

Cut off from my own life force, my own sexuality, my own spirit, feelings I have to be a thousand different things. This nervous system is in burnout from all these aggressive practices...

 

SO.

 

Somebody from another forum recommended the follow to me:

 

Working directly on the Hara with energetic methods from the taoist tradition seems like a good idea also. ASk at thetaobums.com for help in finding the methods for you. Some sort of breathing method and a few qigong excersises should do this well. thetaobums is also a good place to ask for help regrding the sexual issues. The taoist tradition has a lot of excersises for healing that are and sexual issues in general. Genital and testicle massage (done in a loving way) and gentel methods for awakening the sexual energy centers and gentials. Do good research before choosing methods. Be conserned with safety. Don`t go for forcefull or powerfull methods. Don`T overdo, Focus on self acceptance and self loving.

 

It might also be better for you to practice the microcosmic orbit for a while and either choose that route permanently or to use it for a while and later come beck to spinal breathing. The reason is that the front channel is important to work with for these issues and the orbit can do a lot of good here. Six healing sounds and the inner smile are also very good for dealing with all sorts of psychological issues while being energeticly beneficial. Beyond that fusion of the five elements is profoundly balancing for the emotions and will give a lot of self confidence while clearing out and resolving issues from the past(learn it from Andy Fretwel not from Mantak). A CAREFULL and MODERATE practice of iron shirt chi kung and dan tien chi kung will also build an huge amount of confidence and feeling of power and root that will adress your issues very well but these are practices that are best done on a foundation of the other ones mentioned

 

I warn you to be extreemly carefull if you deside to aproach any of the taoist seual practices. There are huge holes in Mantaks teachings with regards to this. Thetaobums has a lot of knowledge about this. check out alchemicaltaoism.com for advice on how to aproach this and use doctor Lins not mantaks methods. Please email me if you deceide to do these things and I can communicate to you a lot of the safety protocols developed over trial and error by the webcommunity with these practices so that it can be done safely. Clearing up emotional issues first is an extreemly important part of all this.

 

In conjunction with pilates practice so that my body and energy center is rooted in the Hara.

 

Basically I am seekng advice on how I might start anew.

 

I am seeking therapy etc., already.

 

I am just after practice advice to that might help to ground and balance this burnout, free up this abdominal tightness and sexual frustration, calm the mind, release all the negative material I've bought up..

 

I would like to feel at ease again..

 

Any help??

Easynow..

Edited March 20, 2009 by growant

[CarsonZi]

Namaste Jack....

 

I have one question for you before I offer any suggestions....

 

You say you have been invovled in the past with research chemicals....I used to have a LARGE collection of legal phenethylamines and tryptamines and have done them all numerous times....my question to you is this:

Have you recently (or even semi-recently, say within the last 6 months) done 2C-I? This particular research chemical has an Iodine molecule which is very heavy. The only medications using this molecule are thyroid medications. There is a reason for that. I have personally found that with this chemical it can put one into a state of severe depression, exhaustion etc from making semi-permanent changes to the functioning of your thyroid. DO NOT USE THIS CHEMICAL! This is one of the few research chemicals I will actively stand up and say this about. The only other one I have a bit of an issue with is DPT because I think there is a demonic force attached to this molecule, but that is a COMPLETELY other story . Anyways, if you wouldn't mind letting me know how recently you last used 2C-I if at all, that would be of great help I think in diagnosing what may be the potential cause of this phase.

 

Love,

Carson

 

P.S. Yes I knew who you were when I first said hello. Saw on AYP that you were joining so I figured Easynow/Jack here was "Jack" there. Again, welcome to TTB.

[Easynow]

Namaste Jack....

 

I have one question for you before I offer any suggestions....

 

You say you have been invovled in the past with research chemicals....I used to have a LARGE collection of legal phenethylamines and tryptamines and have done them all numerous times....my question to you is this:

Have you recently (or even semi-recently, say within the last 6 months) done 2C-I? This particular research chemical has an Iodine molecule which is very heavy. The only medications using this molecule are thyroid medications. There is a reason for that. I have personally found that with this chemical it can put one into a state of severe depression, exhaustion etc from making semi-permanent changes to the functioning of your thyroid. DO NOT USE THIS CHEMICAL! This is one of the few research chemicals I will actively stand up and say this about. The only other one I have a bit of an issue with is DPT because I think there is a demonic force attached to this molecule, but that is a COMPLETELY other story . Anyways, if you wouldn't mind letting me know how recently you last used 2C-I if at all, that would be of great help I think in diagnosing what may be the potential cause of this phase.

 

Love,

Carson

 

P.S. Yes I knew who you were when I first said hello. Saw on AYP that you were joining so I figured Easynow/Jack here was "Jack" there. Again, welcome to TTB.

 

Hi Carson,

 

 

"Shit".

 

Yeah, 2-CI has been taken three times in this lifetime. The last time was probably a year and a half ago. There was some other 'legal high' from a headshop last summer though, combined with kratom, weed, a box of wine, vodka, etc., led to a scary month afterwards...

 

I saw the ex yesterday which bought up a load of stuff for me, went to a friends afterwards and blazed through a few joints also which does NOT help me, I am realising. Letting that one go.

 

Help at all?

[gendao]

Very interesting. A congenital defect could imply a past life issue. Sexual blocks could easily arise from bad sexual experiences or vows of renunciation in past lives, for example.

 

So this is where I feel you need to find the actual root cause of that problem, rather than just practice generic meditation. Mak_Tin_Si cured Yoda's wife's heartburn instantly and said it was a karmic issue. I personally use ThetaHealing for issues like this.

 

Otherwise, the more you skirt around or try to escape from it, the worse it will become meanwhile...

[Eric23]

Is there a surgical procedure to fix the foreskin issue? Seems like this got the problems started, maybe a good place to start?

[CarsonZi]

Namaste Jack....

"Shit".

Haha, you'll be ok, try not to stress. All things work together for good and everything happens for a reason. Struggle creates opening.

Yeah, 2-CI has been taken three times in this lifetime.

Yeah I knew it before you said it. I could "feel" it in your energy. I am all for using psychedelics but seriously, in your situation, I REALLY think it is a bad idea. Even smoking weed probably is not a good thing for you at this stage. I second those who suggest some serious grounding. Weight lifting, running, mountain climbing, etc etc..... And I'd almost fully suggest staying away from spiritual stuff until some of this calms down. Maybe keep a little daily meditation, (not too much) in there to keep balance an inner silence in the forefront......

I saw the ex yesterday which bought up a load of stuff for me, went to a friends afterwards and blazed through a few joints also which does NOT help me, I am realising. Letting that one go.

Oh yeah, and don't provoke yourself by putting yourself in situations like the above . Letting go is a great idea

 

Best of luck. You will be in my samyama.

 

Love,

Carson

[Edward M]

Jack,

 

Sorry about your problems man........have you considered getting a circumcision, is it possible for you..maybe that would sort out one issue for you?

 

sorry if this is embarassing for you!!

 

peace

 

Ed

 

 

 

peace

 

Ed

Edited February 27, 2010 by Edward M

[Easynow]

Really useful replies, guys. Thanks.

 

I got circumcised four years ago. Its a psychological/stored trauma thing that needs releasing. Unfortunately, this breakup, living alone, and having taken psychotropics has made this very noisy to me.

 

Vortex - "Sexual blocks could easily arise from bad sexual experiences or vows of renunciation in past lives, for example." - I've thought this before. However, I've had bad sexual experiences in -this- lifetime. Not in the form of abuse, just in the form of having negative first experiences of sex due to being unable to feel anything and learning to expect disappointment! Is Mak_Tin_Si open to being messaged, do you know?

 

CarsonZi - Yeah, I feel quite afraid of altering my consciousness. Even 10 minutes of IAM meditation is enough alteration to cause gut-level panic reactions. Funnily enough I joined the gym last week. I need more hobbies to distract myself from the self-analysis trip also. Anything to do be done for the Iodine? I had a blood test today so that will pick up any Thyroid discrepencies (and hopefully none of The Hell Creator, The Happiness Castrator)!

 

Is there like.. a good breathing exercise I can do to ground and release?

[CarsonZi]

Namaste Jack...

CarsonZi - Yeah, I feel quite afraid of altering my consciousness.

Really? Yet you do it with drugs regularly? (ayahausca, marijuana etc) Perhaps I misunderstand.

Even 10 minutes of IAM meditation is enough alteration to cause gut-level panic reactions.

Then I would suggest an "open awareness" style of meditation and perhaps for only 5 minutes a day. At least try that at first. If it is still too much you may have to back off completely for a while, only you will know for sure.

Funnily enough I joined the gym last week.

Sychronicities are a sign that you are where you should be at a given time. IMO anyways.

I need more hobbies to distract myself from the self-analysis trip also. Anything to do be done for the Iodine?

Unfortunately no. At least not that I know of. Just don't do any more 2C-I. If you have to, burn your braincells out with MDMA or something instead. Kidding.

Is there like.. a good breathing exercise I can do to ground and release?

Maybe, but if there is I don't know it. All the breathing exercises I know of seem to me like they would exasperate things not smooth them out. Sorry I'm not more help.

 

Love,

Carson

[markern]

Hi there!

 

It was I who wrote the post you are quoting. I am not all that certain about that advice anymore because in the thread I replied to you in you were complaining about week contact with dan tien, masculnity and sexuality mostly in addition to father issues and some genreal psychological issues. I had not at the time seen the other thread you had at AYP were you address your problems from a broader perspective and explaining how many things you had already tried and how your issues inlcuded som much mania etc. This leaves me somewhat at odds because your case is quite special and you have tried so much of what usualy works wonders.

 

What I will say know is that more than any practice you need to see a concentional therapist. Any sort of standard western psychologist. He could very well be more broadly minded and trained my point is just that you do not need a transpersonal psychologist (an excellent thing to do for many other people though) or something like that. You need to sit down with a trained psychologist to deal with the basic issues you have over sexuality, perfomance anxiety, your father issues, your childhood and not least the obsessivness and mania you see very clearly yourself. I think that most or all of the other stuff you have done have been done with such a strong and unhealthy attitude of fixing you completly right now that they could never realy work. In a sens you haven`t actualy done most of these practices at all despite having "done" them because with such a mindset you are not realy mindfull for example. The good side to that is that the practices might still do you a lot of good when you have adressed your basic issues and obsessivness to such a degre to aproach these practices with a more healthy mindset.

 

I think in general all of your practice atempts have been with the attitude of it being able to solve ALL your problems. To remove ANY bad feeling what so ever. To TOTALY TRANSCEND your issues. To totaly REMOVE them. Even with complete enlgithenment and every available therapy and the best pickup game in the world that would never happen. I think you need, more than anything to learn to accept pain here and now and accept that it will stay there for a while. You also need to accept that you will never ever, ever be totaly free from pain or suffering as will neither anyone else, enlightened or not. I think when you have tried to be mindfully accepting before you have not been realy trying to be mindfully accepting but actualy been saying to yourself that if I can just mindfully accept this feeling it will go away and I will not feel anything bad anynore or something like that. I do the same a lot myself and it is very common. This I think is your basic problem the desire to get rid of all pain, all suffering. I think you, and this is my own number one problem, when you experience something painfull say to yourself that this pain is unbearable, it is horrible etc. and thus make the suffering ten times bigger. The point of mindfulness is largely to remove the ten fold multiplication of pain by accpeting the initial pain as it is.

 

I think that all though the paramount thing for you is to get a good talk therapist bodyoriented therapy might also be very important because it can access and release the trauma partialy responsible for your problems.

 

Besides this I do not think you meditative or energetic practices will be what will help you at this point. Later on yes but for the above reasons you need something else first. I still would think that a basic body practice of some kind and some basic meditation and simple energetic excersizes caould be very benificial if you keep a couple of things in mind. I think it is important that right now these are not the things that will fix you and they will never completly "fix" you or remove all your suffering although they will lead you to a lot of great things. I think it is also important that you do not practice very much but quite moderate but stable. As I said thises things will not "fix" you now so 3 hours of meditation a day won`t realy help. 20-30 minutes is plenty in your case I would think. If you add inner smile healing sounds and some very basic breathing stuff that would probably be good provided it is a very stable practice long term that you do not think will remove all your issues. Besides that anything that trains and structures your body correctly would be good but again not a solution or a primary one. Pilates still sounds good for you but it could well be yoga tai chi or regular gym stuff. The main point is probably just general fitness and that you get your alignement and body structure neatly in order to minimize (but not remove) your issues in that way. Beyond this I do not think the stuff I recomended should be the stuff to get into right know. You rather need to learn to accpet that these things takes time and some of your issues can be dealt with later on. Before a radical change in attitude and aproach I think what I suggested would not realy help at all but just be another strategy of avoidance of confronting the real issues and exagerated hope.

 

You might also consider some light medication for a certain period to stabilize your mood swings while you are in therapy.

 

I wish you the best of luck with these things. You show great will and drive to work on your problems and by using that strenth to working at your issues through accpetance and balancing and toleration of the pain that is there right now you will clearly overcome these difficulties. You should also remember that you are very young and have a lot of time to sort these things out.

 

 

Good luck:)

[gendao]

Vortex, that is very interesting what you just said! not meaning to take attention away from Jack, but i was born with a hypospadius similar kind of thing......i had the feeling a few years ago that i'd taken a vow of celibacy in a past life..

 

any reference of this at all?

I would not be surprised at all. I think such issues could create distortions in our morphogenetic blueprints...that could then manifest as birth defects. Or on a subtler level, affect your energy flow and psychosomatic behavior in those areas.

 

Easynow - Well yea, now you've suffered a snowball effect from the root cause...

 

Anyhow, if you have lower blockages in your root & sexual chakra, you may find it difficult to root and ground. As your energy could be blocked from descending down into your legs. Again, you must pull the root cause here (no pun intended, lol) first.

 

Otherwise, if you stand around trying to ground with a blocked root, that's like waiting for your car oil to drain out without pulling the plug first...

 

I also disagree with makern. What you really need is an "energetic psyhologist." Someone who can identify and remove your blocks both psychologically and energetically. Who can both find the energetic blocks and resolve their psychological root issues, working back & forth. Hence, this integrated approach is much faster than a pure psychologist or energetic healer alone for these types of issues.

Edited March 20, 2009 by vortex

[markern]

Very interesting. A congenital defect could imply a past life issue. Sexual blocks could easily arise from bad sexual experiences or vows of renunciation in past lives, for example.

 

So this is where I feel you need to find the actual root cause of that problem, rather than just practice generic meditation. Mak_Tin_Si cured Yoda's wife's heartburn instantly and said it was a karmic issue. I personally use ThetaHealing for issues like this.

 

Otherwise, the more you skirt around or try to escape from it, the worse it will become meanwhile...

 

The foreskin problems which has inhibited normal sexual function during a crucial time would be a very good candidate for the cause behind sexual blocks. No need to go into specualtions about previous lives that may or may not have happened and if so would be notoriously difficult to remember and is ususaly dealt with better with a here and now and the future oriented aproach than an analysis of what in this life has caused or even worse in a possible previous life speculated about wildly. It seems jack has quite a good handle on what are the causes but needs more help in solutions. Upringing, situation here and now and genes are the obvious and provably influential factors one would look into before speculating about previous lives and temring things a karmic issue. If yoy actualy believe you can remember past lives that relate strongly to these issues, sure go ahead and deal with it that way but starting to specualte about that now will likely be just fantasy play and not particualry related to the issue. How does one differentitate between a karmic issue and psychological trauma, genes, difficulaties in your situation right now, physical issues creating psychological stress etc. If one belives in karma would not everything always be a karmic issue?

[karen]

Easynow,

 

I didn't have time right now to read through your whole initial post, but when I read "stored trauma," I felt drawn to post this one idea - Heilkunst treatment. Heilkunst is the complete system of health care of which homeopathy is a part.

 

All of the good healing methods suggested here will help with balance, but I think that you need a system that can literally remove those traumas. The stored trauma can be compared to a pregnancy - it's not something that can be balanced, but needs to be removed. Then the healing methods can be more effective, once you're actually removing those blockages.

 

I can tell you from my own personal experience and from being in training in this system, that the deep karmic impingements can be removed, and in a scientific way (in the true sense of the word). With healing methods that focus on symptoms, the symptoms can sometimes mysteriously disappear and there's usually no real way to know whether they'll return in another form, and whether the root cause is still there. But a Heilkunst practitioner can pinpoint the causative disturbances and remove them in a rational, sequential way, according to natural law.

 

I've personally overcome deep-seated karmic issues this way (especially a life-threatening issue I had for 30 years that was resistant to all the natural healing methods, and I threw everything at it). Although, testimonials aren't really necessary when the principles stand for themselves. This remarkable system is being used by Heilkunst practitioners treating people worldwide, with higher success than I've seen anywhere else.

 

If you're interested, you can read introductory articles on my website about Heilkunst, and also at www.homeopathy.com.

 

Best,

Karen

Edited March 20, 2009 by karen

[Apech]

Easynow,

 

Honestly you have obviously had a bad time. You need to give yourself the time and space to reclaim your energy. I feel that any complicated or 'powerful' practices at this time might be more confusing. I feel you should simplify - and try to avoid too much drug use and so on.

 

If you have sorted the physical sexual problems then you just need to wait and give it time for the emotional stuff to sort itself out. Despite how it is presented to us its actually not easy to form satisfactory and harmonious sexual relations with other people. Most people have problems with this and you are not unique in that.

 

I would still suggest you avoid any elaborate analysis of problems and work on grounding yourself and finding simple things you enjoy. If there's a Buddhist group near you you could go and do some shamata somewhere quiet and peaceful.

 

Cheers.

 

A.

 

PS. nice vid/mantra to listen to:

 

yUJucA-mrgE&feature=channel_page

Edited March 20, 2009 by apepch7

[Fire Dragon]

Hello

 

I hope you find a way to deal with your problems. I am quite familiar with Mantak Chias work. what he suggests in hes books is that you clear our your emotional prpblems before you even start with hes methods.

I will try to give you some advices from my point of wiew.

 

 

Consentrate on this three at the first. If you not manage this three things try to get help from a professional.

 

 

 

 

1 Stop using porn or any sexual tantric method like Mantak Chias

 

It will only make your emotional problems increase

 

 

 

 

 

2 Stop using all drugs

 

(same)

 

 

 

 

3 Start heavy exercise regularly: Like jogging three times a week every week,

 

following your streangth at the moment, without owerdoing it, without jogging to long.

 

 

 

THEN

 

 

 

4 Get a good western therapist that your feel comfortable with.

 

If you not feel comfortable with the therapist theire methods might not work, find another one emidiately.

 

 

 

 

 

And after that, in this order

 

 

 

5 Eat good and healthy food regularly and all the time

 

 

6 Try to find a healer. Like NLP, Healing, Homeopathy

 

Try first to find a good therapist and when you have managed that and started a good theraphy, try also some other methods that might complement your treatment. No effort needed here before you find a good therapist and managed the three first points.

 

 

7 Make shore you manage this things.

 

- Manage to take care of your economic situation in a good and comfortable way

- Make a good environment to live in by taking care of your home

- Have good contact with some of your relatives and friends

- Not have contact with friends that drain your energy or letting you use drugs

 

 

 

After that starting this

 

 

8 Start some easy breathing into the dan tien for about 5 to 10 minutes a day. And perhaps some short iron shirt stances, 5 to 10 minutes a day

 

Wait with any other energetic work untill you feel considerably better emotionally. Work only with a professional healer you like before that if wanting to go into energetic work.

 

9 When you feel emotionally better start to find a good teacher in qigong, yoga or other similar system. If you still want to practise such things.

 

 

 

 

The most important thing is that you learn to take care of yourself physically and emotianionally before starting to practise spiritual practises. Its important for everybody but especially for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This comes from my feeling of what is important for you. Stopping drugs and porn is the most important thing for you it will only mess things up further. Don't use your bad feelings as excuses for doing this. I guarantee you that it only will make you worse of in the long run.

 

Staring exercising will help you to deal and clear out your emotional issues. If you start jogging it will help you to ground yourself and to get better self esteem. It will also help you to start new more healthy ways to take care of your life.

 

To find a therapist that you have the possibility to start working with your emotinal situation is wery important for you. Nearly as important as stopping with porn and drugs. There is no need to stay with a bad therapist though. You will soon feel if you have come to one that is good for you or not. If you find the right person then try to stay with that person for as long as you need to and not stoping beacase some strong emotional issues might arrise from it.

 

It is wery important for you that you start do things that ground you into the physical life. It is much more important for you to take care of your home than to sit and meditate for hours. Find the nice relatives you like and have regular contact with them is also for you wery important. All this make you more grounded in your real life. It willl also give you more self esteem and comfort with yourself.

 

Don't do to much energetic work. It seems like you have done enogh of all this stuff without realy managed to take care of yourself. Not see this as a failure see is as the path your life has taken. Try something else now and see if that helpes you more.

 

 

 

Newer give up try always to find the good things you need for the moment and for the long run. Get into yourself and at the bottom of yourself make shore you have an attitude that says I will manage to solve this no matter what happens. I will continue my healing process and continue surching for the good things for my life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Peace in your way

 

 

F D

[Eric23]

Easynow,

 

Honestly you have obviously had a bad time. You need to give yourself the time and space to reclaim your energy. I feel that any complicated or 'powerful' practices at this time might be more confusing. I feel you should simplify - and try to avoid too much drug use and so on.

 

If you have sorted the physical sexual problems then you just need to wait and give it time for the emotional stuff to sort itself out. Despite how it is presented to us its actually not easy to form satisfactory and harmonious sexual relations with other people. Most people have problems with this and you are not unique in that.

 

I would still suggest you avoid any elaborate analysis of problems and work on grounding yourself and finding simple things you enjoy. If there's a Buddhist group near you you could go and do some shamata somewhere quiet and peaceful.

 

Cheers.

 

A.

 

PS. nice vid/mantra to listen to:

 

yUJucA-mrgE&feature=channel_page

 

After reading through the entire thread, Apepch7 has given you some very good advice. I mentioned it in the thread you started in the healing section, but it bears repeating here; Unwinding the Belly is a system that gets right to the core from a physical standpoint. Safe, sound basic stuff that has the potential of dealing with the stress.

[Adj]

Easynow,

 

Some how you remind me terribly of myself! You have a far greater burden than I, but I feel a very sympathetic and and understand of your situation.

 

From my teenage years I began heading down your path going through similar means of distraction, meditation, drugs, ect... I was also a virgin. But not because of any physical problems because I hated myself so much I could not imagine even getting a girlfriend.

 

I vividly remember the frustration of never having had sex, and watching porn and feeling guilt because I'd never get those girls.

 

I studied pick up game, rather extensively and would go out regularly all piling onto an overbearing hate for my life.

 

I felt burned out, stressed, exhausted, and always depressed. YOur description of how you feel so paralleled mine.

 

Others here like the wise Guru's they think they are will tell you what you should do, but honestly, they know nothing about you and what you are like. But I will tell you what worked for me.

 

 

 

 

I wondered "how can I 'surrender' and allow myself to get grounded?" If I stop thinking -then- I can get grounded. So I decided to join the military. They would think for me. I would just do as I am told and not think and just do and exist and allow myself to transform. But before joining I realized that I have another option to try first. Martial arts. I joined a traditional kung Fu school that stresses protocol and respect.

 

I started transforming rapidly. It turned out that meditation, downers, alcohol, are all too yin, and what I needed to do was BREAK through my issues with a YANG approach.

 

Doing martial arts allowed me to do several things.

1: It messed with my schedule so I could not see any of my friends who would bring me back down this was KEY!

2: It developed my body to the point where I could look at myself and feel attractive and and allowed my confidence in my body to develop profoundly. That kind of confidence translates into inward directed love.

3: It forced me to use a loud voice which developed confidence immensely allowing myself to speak up for myself and believe in what I was saying.

4: It allowed me to surrender. Taking class your body is challenged to the point where you are FORCED to stop thinking. I was given commands and I performed. I fought against my body telling me to stop cause it was tired. It developed my WILLPOWER and DETERMINATION. Before I was wishing to give up and die, what a transformation!

5: At the end of the work out when I am high off of hormones the instructor then tells me something positive. In the immensely receptive state what he said sank in to a core level and eventually became a new way of thinking that would literally ground me.

6: I would leave filled with endorphins from the workout and it would cure my depression and mixed with the Chigong would fix any physical problems effecting my emotional mind.

 

 

I look back on my life and how it was and it seems like a past life. I had transformed completely. Once afraid to talk to girls I now teach Kung Fu to almost three hundred students. I go from a virgin to have slept with about a dozen and a half different women and have a healthy cut body.

 

All the friends I used to have are GONE. All my new friends are dedicated to their own success. I no longer do any drugs, or excessive alcohol or any of that crap. I no longer study meditation to change myself because I suck but I do it to strengthen and give my body longevity. I am not concerned with enlightenment I am at total peace why do I need to look for something that will bring me what I already have?

 

Im not going to tell you to go out and join the military or a kung fu school and preach to you that it is the cure but I will tell you it worked for me. And I believe it so much I made it into my job and my life. And if you try it, I hope it works for you too!

[contrivedname!]

hello easynow,

 

you are 2 years younger than myself and i must say it is quite interesting how parrallel some of our emotional and psychological blockages have seemed to develop. i had the same feelings of being unable to accept my masculinity/testosterone etc, and this partially stemmed from a negative relationship w/ a parent, in this case my mother (though in her defense, she is loving and well intended, though i think her personal emotional blockages having to do with males in her past were unintentionally projected on to myself). the same holds true w/ the porn thing, the drug thing, even the problems w/ sexual performance, though i have no physical problems there (completely an emotional block). some people will say that it could be attributeable to past lives, etc., while this may be true, i think in our current lives it is more important to focus on the root causes in this life as opposed to giving ourselves the potential "excuse" of the past live paradigm. i am at work and need to do somethings but when i get home i will attempt to write an in-depth of my experiences in hopes that they will be able to serve you in your current situation

 

 

good name... easynow, like the state of mind you are hoping to achieve?

 

chris

[Trash Filter]

Hi easynow, i can identify with some of your problems in my past. i feel for you.

 

If you want to feel at ease, look at your problems like a kid would. Really simply.

 

1. Get yourself in a better state. drugs, conflicting energy practises, porn- preferentially get off them, or reduce them.

2. Now in improved state, decide and tackle the most important problems first.

 

If the sex issue is of greatest importance, then fix it with what needs to be done. You will find that some problems are the root of others, so tackle the big ones first.

 

Dont worry, stay strong. Bliss is there for you.

 

And remember it is not possible these days to leave society and its foibles like the hermits used to.

We have to face them modernly, and live in both worlds until they unite.

[contrivedname!]

if you are still reading this easynow, i will attempt to send you a pm in a couple days, i realized that i had to churn through my experience and try to remember exactly what has actually helped and what i thought helped and separate, etc. more work than i thought

 

but until then adj and trash have seemed to give some pretty good advice (perhaps better than i can give)

[Easynow]

Sincerely, thank you to everybody for posting. Its hugely appreciated.

 

Just told my family what I am going through. It was unpleasant but necessary. Finding a counsellor tomorrow.

 

Thanks again.

[Trunk]

Just told my family what I am going through. It was unpleasant but necessary. Finding a counsellor tomorrow.

Right on. Good for you.

Wise steps.

Light,

Trunk

[doc benway]

Sincerely, thank you to everybody for posting. Its hugely appreciated.

 

Just told my family what I am going through. It was unpleasant but necessary. Finding a counsellor tomorrow.

 

Thanks again.

Excellent choices.

I've had very positive experience with ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy).

It's founded in Eastern philosophical principles and may be worth exploring.

Good luck!

[markern]

Excellent choices.

I've had very positive experience with ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy).

It's founded in Eastern philosophical principles and may be worth exploring.

Good luck!

 

 

ACT is very, very good. The best of the east and west combined as far as I have come across