Help.. exhaustion, stress, depression, burnout

[Easynow]

Okay, have booked an intro counselling session for Thursday. Saw my family today, caught up with my brother, then went for a swim and cooked myself a good meal (Chilli con carne, and boy I made it hot..). Seeing some friends tonight and not drinking any more than one drink over the course of the evening..

 

I am hoping to start "Unwinding the belly" in conjunction with the counselling. I can feel that layers of my abdomen are constantly tense and can prod around and touch feelings of anxiety and fear in there.

 

ACT - is this something you can do by yourself, or does it involve having a therapist trained in it?

[Mattimo]

Easynow,

 

First of all I would like to congratulate you on having the courage and the intelligence to talk about your issues - especially communicating with your family. Secondly, I agree with the previous posters who have recommended physical exercise / martial arts / yoga in conjuction with counselling and diet. Try tiring yourself out on a daily basis so that you don't have the energies to worry or doubt yourself. Additionally, I would perhaps recommend not dwelling on your sexual concerns - you are young and have the rest of your life to sort that out. Certainly it is good to talk about it if it is bothering you, but not overly so. Sex is a small part of life and I would firstly recommend developing a solid inner foundation and then approaching the world and experience from that front.

 

Lastly, the answers to problems are always fundemental and simple, it is only people that complicate things. Don't get lost or delluded in too many therapies that lack tangibility and rationality i.e. energetic this or energetic that.

 

You are on the right track,

 

Wishing you the best in your journey,

 

Matt

[Fire Dragon]

[Easynow]

Thanks again.

 

I had one beer tonight. It was enough to tweak me into depression and despair. No alcohol for a while, full stop.

[Eric23]

I am hoping to start "Unwinding the belly" in conjunction with the counselling. I can feel that layers of my abdomen are constantly tense and can prod around and touch feelings of anxiety and fear in there.

 

ACT - is this something you can do by yourself, or does it involve having a therapist trained in it?

 

Unwinding the Belly is a self massage technique. You will need to buy the book and work at your own pace. It's not complicated at all and does not involve a therapist. There are a few of us here who have been doing it for a while. Feel free to PM me with any questions. Unwinding the Belly is based on a healing method called Chi Nei Tsang. If you are fortunate to live in a city where there is a Chi Nei Tsang practioner available, you could check that out. If not, the self massage techniques can be done on your own.

[Fire Dragon]

Thanks again.

 

I had one beer tonight. It was enough to tweak me into depression and despair. No alcohol for a while, full stop.

 

 

Hi

 

One part of healing and I absolutely speak from my own experience is to not be to hard (hars?) on yourself. Forgivness and compassion to your own being is the key! So if you decide to stop be aware that changes of yourself migth take some times. If you decide that alcohol isn't good for you and want a total stop. Fine. If you manage a long time, fine. If you miss it some time and perhaps feel bad again, fine. If so, that you had a beer again and felt wery bad again, you have got a new message that it realy isn't good for you, if that is the case, and you can streangthen your will to not drink. And then perhaps manage a longer time next time. This is relevant for all types of changes, not only alcohole.

 

Changes of people are like moving a huge oil taker, it take some time to get the boat to react and turn to the direction you want. But if you eagarly continue it will changes to the better.

 

life is like playing music. A musician that plays wrong will adapt to that and perhaps adjust his play a litle bit. I mean when you live your life, things goes not in the right direction some times, and when you notice you can do some neccessarily adjustments to your attitides, behaviours or what ever needed. It's not a big deal, it's just to keep on trying to get the ballance. If not trying the signals get stronger, from the universe and your life, and you will perhaps have to make a bigger changes or adjustment for a while.

 

I got perhaps a litle to complicated in this. It is a process of self acceptance and compassion and forgivness to yourself and your eventual foults that is the important thing. I think so anyway.

 

 

Give yourself a real cup of forgivness to yourself today and feel the healing power of it!

You are on the rigth track for your healing, that we all can feel that have read your threads.

 

 

Good luck and best whishes to you

 

F D

[dragonfire]

Most issues can be addressed with daily intake of herbs to boost your energy

and abdominal breathing.

 

98% of most problems are caused by poor breathing - not

breathing from the abs and deep breathing.

 

Since you are most likely have some deficiency, I would recommend

doing 1 hour of abdominal deep breathing a day for

1 month.

 

According to the 5 element theory, if you tonify your

lung Qi through breathing exercises, you will will affect your kidneys.

Depression, weaknesses in extremities, joints, burnout, etc...

are all kidney related.

 

I recommend a visit to an acupuncturist or chinese doctor.

 

Stay away from alcohol. Good Luck.

[Easynow]

"Unwinding the Belly" arrived today. I will work with the belly breathing daily until I am comfortable in that, then explore the first touching exercises.

 

However, I must avoid becoming obsessed with techniques or putting too much hope in them. It is what I did for the last several years. I must deal with my 'issues' head-on.

 

Still, looking forward to the positive effects of breathing correctly.

[Apech]

"Unwinding the Belly" arrived today. I will work with the belly breathing daily until I am comfortable in that, then explore the first touching exercises.

 

However, I must avoid becoming obsessed with techniques or putting too much hope in them. It is what I did for the last several years. I must deal with my 'issues' head-on.

 

Still, looking forward to the positive effects of breathing correctly.

 

 

I agree with your approach - do techniques but don't rely on them. Approach them in a fairly light hearted way as - for instance - breathing properly will make you feel better if you can become relaxed and more centered. Don't be put off if it doesn't seem to work on a given day - just do something else and go back to it later.

 

A.

[Pranaman]

I second the folks that suggested grounding and working out the muscles.

 

I'm still recuperating from a seemingly permanent and uncontrollable psychological negativity surrounding paranoia, sexuality, anger, sadness, numbness, etc that was wired up and burned into my brain due to hallucinogenic drugs. I'm doing a million times better now. It's been less then a year of taoist practices, and I hardly notice the residual effects anymore.

 

This is what I did:

1) Zhan Zhuang for grounding, improving blood circulation (invigorating nerves), emptying mind, and building confidence

2) Yiquan (a martial art/moving meditation)

3) bodyweight exercises to enliven the body and build willpower

 

If you want, I can PM you the sequence of exercises, and how-to's and maybe a video or two of exactly what I did for the last many months to alleviate the suffering that post-traumatic stress put on my mind and heart.

 

Best wishes friend.

Edited March 25, 2009 by Pranaman

[goldisheavy]

"Unwinding the Belly" arrived today. I will work with the belly breathing daily until I am comfortable in that, then explore the first touching exercises.

 

However, I must avoid becoming obsessed with techniques or putting too much hope in them. It is what I did for the last several years. I must deal with my 'issues' head-on.

 

Still, looking forward to the positive effects of breathing correctly.

 

Right on. A good technique or two can help when you're in a pinch. But long term you have to have a stable calm life glow inside. You have to feel whole, know why you live even if you don't know the exact details, know and partake of the joy of life, allow yourself to be loved by yourself and others even if you are not perfect. See how wide open this is? You can't realize that kind of state just by a technique. It's impossible. Techniques are narrow in their meaning by definition. Techniques deal with particulars. Techniques cannot help with problems that are rooted at higher more abstract "layers" of the mind (ok, the mind doesn't really have layers, it's just a figure of speech).

 

A technique is like putting a splint on a broken arm. It's smart to do so. However, long term you learn to watch where you put your arms, maybe you eat a little healthier and exercise a little more so that your bones get stronger. A splint cannot give you all that.

[Mal]

One part of healing and I absolutely speak from my own experience is to not be to hard (hars?) on yourself. Forgivness and compassion to your own being is the key! So if you decide to stop be aware that changes of yourself migth take some times. If you decide that alcohol isn't good for you and want a total stop. Fine. If you manage a long time, fine. If you miss it some time and perhaps feel bad again, fine. If so, that you had a beer again and felt wery bad again, you have got a new message that it realy isn't good for you, if that is the case, and you can streangthen your will to not drink. And then perhaps manage a longer time next time. This is relevant for all types of changes, not only alcohole.

 

I got perhaps a litle to complicated in this. It is a process of self acceptance and compassion and forgivness to yourself and your eventual foults that is the important thing. I think so anyway.

Give yourself a real cup of forgivness to yourself today and feel the healing power of it!

 

Excellent advice. Change takes time, just keep breathing

[Eric23]

"Unwinding the Belly" arrived today. I will work with the belly breathing daily until I am comfortable in that, then explore the first touching exercises.

 

However, I must avoid becoming obsessed with techniques or putting too much hope in them. It is what I did for the last several years. I must deal with my 'issues' head-on.

 

Still, looking forward to the positive effects of breathing correctly.

 

 

The nice thing about Unwinding is that it is really easy, light on technique. Just listen to your body. Literally get in touch with yourself. Be gentle.

[Pranaman]

Techniques are narrow in their meaning by definition. Techniques deal with particulars. Techniques cannot help with problems that are rooted at higher more abstract "layers" of the mind (ok, the mind doesn't really have layers, it's just a figure of speech).

 

I think this might be a little misleading, what about entering the emptiness, there are so many different ways that this practice is seen.... becoming a link and expression of the source, clearing the mind, transcending thought, etc.... many which are not particular and are rooted at higher more abstract "layers" of reality.

[Easynow]

Ugh.

 

I think I am over a porn addiction, and then before I know it..

 

Today's emotion is shame.

Sexual compulsiveness and shame.

 

I feel like I lack the basic energy to even exercise self-discipline, like I am content to just be a victim and the emotional pressure is too strong to fight against.

[Fire Dragon]

Ugh.

 

I think I am over a porn addiction, and then before I know it..

 

Today's emotion is shame.

Sexual compulsiveness and shame.

 

I feel like I lack the basic energy to even exercise self-discipline, like I am content to just be a victim and the emotional pressure is too strong to fight against.

 

 

 

Don't worry it takes time! I have come ower my porn addiction this year. It started when I had my illness and didn't have sex with woman anymore. I have been fighting it for years actually and are free now. I read something interesting about it. The addiction is related to the shame. It works that way on the transmittor substance level. The shame will make you more addicted to it paradoxically enough.

 

Don't blame yourself! Have compassion to yourself even when doing things you want to stop. Reread my post about changes on this thread. Let the bad thing streangthen your willpower instead of blaming yourself and feel weak about that you gave after for the urge. Million of people using porn and the industry does everything to lure you into it. We easily go into the trap beacase we are predetermined to react on sexual stimuli. It is still not impossible to come ower it! But you will not do it emidiately. Perhaps you can increase the time periods without it.

 

I put it as the first and most important point for you to change your condition. And it is realy important. You have already done the perhaps most important step to seek help here and other plaises. That is to realise and accept that there is a problem and to create a will to change it.

 

Don't worry to much for things you do that is not the things you want to do. Instead focus this day on doiing another thing you want to do, and you will in time succed with your changes.

 

 

I write what I feel for the moment and hope it helps you a litle.

 

 

 

All good to you

 

F D

[Apech]

Ugh.

 

I think I am over a porn addiction, and then before I know it..

 

Today's emotion is shame.

Sexual compulsiveness and shame.

 

I feel like I lack the basic energy to even exercise self-discipline, like I am content to just be a victim and the emotional pressure is too strong to fight against.

 

 

Forgive yourself and then continue your practice.

 

If something is worth doing its never easy. Set long term goals and just keep going.

[Easynow]

Thanks for all your posts. The support is really appreciated.

 

Went to see a counsellor today for the first time.

 

Its interesting. To be honest he seemed a little disinterested??

 

Perhaps I am expecting a counsellor to mother/father me, when really they are serving a perfect role as a mirror to face ourselves with. I will go again and see how things progress.

 

I'm considering seeing a sexual therapist/surrogate to get 'sexually comfortable'. I don't see a relationship working unless the girl is a saint (and the idea of another breakup over this would be devastating), and one night stands are out of the question as I need trust and comfort.

 

So.. sexual surrogacy, then off to a hooker??? Maybe THEN I can start dating???

[Fire Dragon]

 

 

So.. sexual surrogacy, then off to a hooker??? Maybe THEN I can start dating???

 

 

 

 

 

FD

[Eric23]

I'm not going to put down pay for play. Just make sure that you see someone who is a healer first and foremost. Just about every hooker (99.99%) of them are in it for the $$, it's get you off as quick as possible, the meter is running. The really good ones do it without you really knowing or caring because the service is so good. There are rare gems out there who understand that sex can be healing and will take the time to work with you. For goodness sakes, don't go down to the nearest stroll in your town and pick up a streetwalker. Also remember that "Pretty Woman" is a movie; complete, total fiction. Repeat-complete total fiction.

[Trunk]

I think I am over a porn addiction, and then before I know it..

Consider a porn filter against internet porn. OpenDNS.com is a free service that re-routes your dns requests through a filtered database. Requires no local software, works for your entire local network (wireless, etc.).

[hans-wolfgang]

You have inspired this:

 

http://www.thetaobums.com/blog/hans-wolfga...p?showentry=265

[Easynow]

I'm not going to put down pay for play. Just make sure that you see someone who is a healer first and foremost. Just about every hooker (99.99%) of them are in it for the $$, it's get you off as quick as possible, the meter is running. The really good ones do it without you really knowing or caring because the service is so good. There are rare gems out there who understand that sex can be healing and will take the time to work with you. For goodness sakes, don't go down to the nearest stroll in your town and pick up a streetwalker. Also remember that "Pretty Woman" is a movie; complete, total fiction. Repeat-complete total fiction.

 

Hey Eric,

 

I am going to see a professional sexual therapy/surrogacy organisation on Sat 25th about a resolution to the anxiety and other inssues. Road to recovery.

 

 

Consider a porn filter against internet porn. OpenDNS.com is a free service that re-routes your dns requests through a filtered database. Requires no local software, works for your entire local network (wireless, etc.).

 

Thanks, Trunk. Will do this.

 

I am feeling on the whole better than when I posted this.. I believe the Chi in Nature poem has bought in a degree of energy that has helped keep me on an even keel.

 

I've still some things to work on, but optimism is increasing.

 

Easy now.

 

 

 

OH yeah...

 

Big Thanks to the 'bums for looking out for me.

 

I will be posting more in my personal practice forum sometime soon. Keep an eye out, keep visiting!

 

http://www.thetaobums.com/Easynow-f107.html

 

Jack

[Mak_Tin_Si]

Good to hear that you got much better now. The lineage of Chi in Nature is blessing you 24/7, keep up the practise!

[Fire Dragon]

Hey Eric,

 

I am going to see a professional sexual therapy/surrogacy organisation on Sat 25th about a resolution to the anxiety and other inssues. Road to recovery.

Thanks, Trunk. Will do this.

 

I am feeling on the whole better than when I posted this.. I believe the Chi in Nature poem has bought in a degree of energy that has helped keep me on an even keel.

 

I've still some things to work on, but optimism is increasing.

 

Easy now.

OH yeah...

 

Big Thanks to the 'bums for looking out for me.

 

I will be posting more in my personal practice forum sometime soon. Keep an eye out, keep visiting!

 

http://www.thetaobums.com/Easynow-f107.html

 

Jack

 

 

 

 

Congratulation good work. You had already starting the process with your first post. Good to hear that you continue your process. Look forward to follow up your progress.

 

F D